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Author Topic: Geek guys. What would you do if?
serishema
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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 10:25      Profile for serishema     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ok so there's this really hot and smart guy in my programming class i've been fighting myself not to pounce on and have my way with right there and then all semester.

So i'm wanting to ask what you'd do in this secnario geek guys:

She always looks into your eyes from across the roomand then looks away back at her screen when she notices she's been looking too long.

On friday she crouches down beside your chair in the project workspace asking you how your assignment is going, you say it's going well you're nearly finished.
She strokes your shoulder and wishes you luck and walks back to her work station.

(now this is the part i'm trying to figure out if I should actually do)

The next time you see her, you try to say something... but no words come. She grabs you and softly kisses you, looks into your eyes and says "Do I have to make it any more obvious I think you're the hottest guy ever, and I want you!" and is gone. You hear the swipe card access beep - she'll be back at her terminal already.
--

What would you do if this happened to you?
I'm wanting to make sure i'm not going to like give the object of my affections a fatal heart attack or something!

I can't take it any more he's driving me crazy sitting there looking irresistable :/

Posts: 42 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 12:10      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
With any relationship-oriented situation, I always have the same two-step advice:

1) Tell the little nagging, self-deprecating voice in your head to STFU! You may need to tell him this multiple times.

2) Do whatever it is you want to do (keeping in mind decency laws, common courtesy, and common sense), as soon as possible... stop waiting for the perfect time, stop waiting for the perfect scenario, stop waiting for the perfect day, the perfect hour, the perfect minute... JUST STOP WAITING AND FUCKING DO IT!

Everything else, all the niggling details that are running around in your head, all the little fantasy scenarios, all the imagined conversations, all of that stuff is immaterial; when the moment arrives for you to make a move, the REAL WORLD will not act nor behave in any way similar to your imagined daydreams.

All you have to do is DO SOMETHING; and waiting and worrying about it is not DOING something.

The time for thinking (and plotting and planning and scheming) is over... the time for DOING is now!

GO! NOW!

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 12:32      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're not going to give him a heart attack unless:
(1) He has a really weak heart (unlikely, but possible)
(2) You're Jessica Alba or the like. ;P

It's entirely possible that he'll still dismiss this as 'impossible' and a case of mistaken identity, but assuming he's not thoroughly dense, your point should be clear enough. (Unless he's gay or otherwise taken.)

He might also be *really* into whatever he's working on, and brush it off until he finishes haxx0ring. While that would make him a touch stupid, you ought to admire his dedication to the cause, and reward him for it later. [Big Grin] Otherwise, he's just a poser.

And yeah...MMKK's point #2 is pretty dead on -- talk is cheap. Carpe diem.
(Or to channel a prodigal geek here: Carpe geekium.)

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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serishema
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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 12:44      Profile for serishema     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I talk to him a lot, but the thing is whenever I try to talk about something other than programming he completely ignores me. I've been flirting like mad really obviously.

Like when I see him I say "hi cutiee" and run my finger along his cheek.

These are not my day dreams.. this is my actual attempts at flirting with him. I'm more confident than most of the girls who post here and am more likely to get into trouble for sexual harrasment than not to make a move on someone [Wink] (kidding, i've never actually gotten into trouble for anything like that)

I was asking because I know the way I am fairly well and the inertia seemed to evapourate, especially with the wishing him luck on his project thing last friday I mentioned previousy - when this has happened before i've been completely uninhibitted the next time I saw whoever I was crushing on.. which means the next time I see him he'll get the full uninhibited weight of everything i've wished i could tell him or do..

I've scared people away before, that's why I was asking for guys opinions.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 13:22      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Geek guys are dense, I mean really, really dense.

Subtle hints don't work.

Unsubtle hints don't work.

Really blatant hints don't work.

Show up naked, with beer.

Or, what you described in the first post might work, if he's a little less dense than most.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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serishema
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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 15:22      Profile for serishema     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
what about emailing him a link to this thread?
would that work?

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macmcseboy

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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 15:25      Profile for macmcseboy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I second the "Show up naked with beer" method.

I am male,I am geek.... You will need to "club him and drag him home" My last GF chose this approach. The one currently pining over me, well, that's a LONG story.

You should seize the moment, and secure yourself this man.

--------------------
Live long and prosper.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 16:00      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Here's how it is. You're either the predator or the prey. Once you've figured out which category you're in, work with it.

I happen to be prey. I ended up married to an electrical engineer. He is one of those rare extroverted types of geeks. He is also ten years older than me. I was in my early twenties when we met. I mention this because guys and gals in their early twenties tend to be a bit lacking in the self-confidence department and that's what can make a geek guy so shy and clueless (or clueless-seeming; never underestimate the power of disbelief). In some cases, that wears off with age.

That whole lack of confidence thing makes geek girls shy and clueless too. Except us girls are, according to society, supposed to be the prey so it's a bit less crippling.

NB: I did not say that girls must be prey. Even back in the good ol' days that only existed in the minds of some, not all women were prey. But women who had the predator mindset had to be much slyer in how they expressed it. And the converse for men. Anyway, back to my main point..

serishema, methinks you are a predator. Your object of interest is prey who has probably got a fair bit of denial intermingled with general cluelessness. Touching him with fingertips isn't going to work. Sticking your tongue down his throat should work but if he's too deep in denial he might think it's a cruel joke, especially if you don't at least ask him out for coffee afterward. But he might get it. And you'd be less likely to get arrested than if you're prancing around the campus naked with beer.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 17:55      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ Now the OLD FART chimes in. At your age I was dense, very dense I probably would not have floated in water, or social situations. First make sure he does not have a squeeze, then tell him that you want to go out with him, be prepared to teach him every step. (DENSE) Be up front and outline your intentions, that you want him. Now be prepared to have him try to escape, prey do that.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 18:11      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
what about emailing him a link to this thread?
would that work?

That'd be a /tad/ rude, no?
(Politely ignoring the reality of talking about him behind his back this much...it is well meaning, at least.)

Just talk to him... [Smile]
(Or teach yourself LISP and write an appropriate number of assertions, draw it on yourself with lipstick or something, and take it from there...he'll figure *that* out.)

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted June 12, 2010 20:28      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Seriously, just keep it simple, straightforward, and sane. The sane part is what keeps you from throwing him down on the floor, ripping his clothes off of him, mounting him and screaming "I WANT YOUR BABIES!" Trust me, that's not quite the right approach.

Instead, you might try something simple like: "Hey, I was wondering if we could get a cup of coffee together sometime?" Really, there is NO other way to do it than to just ask.

Hints won't work, subtle flirting won't work, non-subtle flirting won't work... just ask him out!

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 10:50      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TheMoMan:
____ Now the OLD FART chimes in. At your age I was dense, very dense I probably would not have floated in water, or social situations. First make sure he does not have a squeeze, then tell him that you want to go out with him, be prepared to teach him every step. (DENSE) Be up front and outline your intentions, that you want him. Now be prepared to have him try to escape, prey do that.

Mo, don't be so hard on yourself. You're still as dense as ever.

[Especially true if you actually believe your accusation that I have been lurking.]


[Razz] gg

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 10:57      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by MacManKrisK:
Seriously, just keep it simple, straightforward, and sane. The sane part is what keeps you from throwing him down on the floor, ripping his clothes off of him, mounting him and screaming "I WANT YOUR BABIES!" Trust me, that's not quite the right approach.

The above merely proves how over-rated sanity is at certain times...

So then, keep it simple, like MMKK started to say, before he drifted into the <gasp> [Eek!] "Sanity Soliloquy". Don't trust MMKK on this one - what he described initially IS the Right Approach!

[Roll Eyes]

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 15:16      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ GG. I calls them as I see them.


____ Its my story I'll tell it my way!!! Lurker

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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Callipygous
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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 17:03      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Um I don't mean to be tricky, but there is a possible alternative, which is that he isn't attracted to you, and is getting increasingly freaked out (Is she a bunny boiler?) and turned off by what you are doing.

quote:
I talk to him a lot, but the thing is whenever I try to talk about something other than programming he completely ignores me
This bothers me, because if you cannot talk about subjects outside your work, what is the chance of there being any actual relationship? For me the key question after deciding that someone is attractive, and a decent kind human being, is can we make each other laugh? If so there is a fair chance that even if we find we are not sexually compatible, at least some giggling will be a balm to our mutual embarrassment, and I will not cringe with shame on any later recollection.

Nonetheless I agree with the others about being plain spoken, rather than dropping hints, but try first to ask him out for a coffee, talk and see if there is anything interesting and lively in his mind. Work out whether you want him as a friend before deciding whether there might be anything more. Softly softly catchee geeky.

--------------------
"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

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serishema
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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 19:44      Profile for serishema     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I emailed him "Do i have to make it any more obvious I think you're really hot and I want you!?"

He didn't reply, so it's pretty ***in obvious he's eaither completely dense or doesn't like me, so case closed.

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serishema
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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 19:45      Profile for serishema     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
have I mentioned lately that I wish I was asexual?
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Richard Wolf VI
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Icon 10 posted June 13, 2010 19:48      Profile for Richard Wolf VI   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -

(Had to search a quick image on that)

Was it that hard just asking him out?

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MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 20:20      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, you need to tone down the approach a bit there....

--------------------
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get rich and you still die"


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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 22:09      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
I emailed him "Do i have to make it any more obvious I think you're really hot and I want you!?"

He didn't reply, so it's pretty ***in obvious he's eaither completely dense or doesn't like me, so case closed.

Or...is so busy coding/doing things in the Big Blue Room† that he didn't check his e-mail.

Or...he'd rather reply in person.

Or...due to geeky tendencies towards skepticism...still doesn't believe it.

† Believe it or not, it can happen (hell, I was away from e-mail for the better part of today)

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2010 23:56      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
I emailed him "Do i have to make it any more obvious I think you're really hot and I want you!?"

He didn't reply, so it's pretty ***in obvious he's eaither completely dense or doesn't like me, so case closed.

Don't give up so easily.
The way to a mans heart is through his stomach - break into his home, and boil the family pet.

(sorry, couldn't resist)

--------------------
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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted June 14, 2010 04:41      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ So he did not reply to your E-mail, he may have a problem with faces and names. At the end of the next class walk up to him and invite him the the lunchroom, cafeteria for a beverage. Then if you get rejected, A: He has a Squeeze. B: Mommy won't let him socialize. C: You are scary to him.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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Icon 1 posted June 14, 2010 07:00      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
have I mentioned lately that I wish I was asexual?

Does this mean you wish you were like Pat from the old SNL sketches (Its Pat) or that you want a chiold that is a clone of you.

If you simply want solo sexual experiences you do have options.

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Icon 1 posted June 15, 2010 07:48      Profile for Venture   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Most importantly, make sure he is single. Then strategize your approach. Like they said, DENSE. ha! very true.

Use your common interest. Write a program that conveys the message.

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~The world is a hologram; Subvert the dominant paradigm~

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geekygoddess
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Icon 1 posted June 16, 2010 00:00      Profile for geekygoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
He's just not that into you...
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