homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » Love!   » Guys, Guys, Guys!   » Guys! I have a question... (Page 1)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!  
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
Author Topic: Guys! I have a question...
erynthenerd
Mini Geek
Member # 12416

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 02:29      Profile for erynthenerd   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, two. Maybe more. Who knows?

What about a woman turns you on/attracts you the most? What turns you off/is an automatic deal-breaker in a woman?

I've got to figure out what's wrong with me.

--------------------
Fresh Meat

Posts: 66 | From: Central Washington | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged
spungo
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1089

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 07:38      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hell, I don't know. The only thing that would put me off a lady is if she reminded me in any way of Demi Moore, Celine Dion, J-Lo, et al.

You're not Demi Moore, are you? [Wink]

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lady_Christy
Geek
Member # 7103

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 08:29      Profile for Lady_Christy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Honey, I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you...you simply haven't found the right guy yet that appreciates all those wonderful things about you. A wise man once said "love is making peace with each other's imperfections" Oh, how true this holds. Don't spend time worrying about changing yourself, instead, focus on loving who you are and keep your eyes open for that guy that appreciates the true you!

--------------------
"There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't." :)

Posts: 207 | From: The Northwoods | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 748

Member Rated:
5
Icon 12 posted November 19, 2007 08:32      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by erynthenerd:
I've got to figure out what's wrong with me.

Well, that's what wrong with you.

Stop wondering what's wrong with you, and stop trying to follow the day's "how to attract men" recipe. Instead, start thinking there's something wrong with the men around you and start enjoying the way you are naturally.

Oh, it might not get you a man, but you'll live a lot happier even if you stay single. Trust me on that! [Big Grin]

--------------------
Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

Member Rated:
5
Icon 3 posted November 19, 2007 09:22      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Turn offs:
-talking all the time.
-not listening.
-no sense of humour.
-whimpering or being super needy/clingy

Turn ons:
-having intelligent things to say.

From your profile pic, you seem to be a babe, so my guess is you are simply trying too hard.

(oh, and let your hair grow long. [Razz] )

Posts: 8111 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
erynthenerd
Mini Geek
Member # 12416

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 11:01      Profile for erynthenerd   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmmm... I don't think that came off the right way. How do you people not instinctually know everything about me? [Razz]

When it comes to dating and meeting new people I'm generally pretty cool, and I'm certainly not trying to figure out what to change about myself, or how to have men drooling all over me (too much moisture makes my hair frizz). I am merely looking for some insight on what I may be doing to discourage potential courtiers. My behaviors are entirely rational to me, and none [neither] of my [2] friends can offer any ideas about why I am unable to get past first-date status.

I'm not currently looking for Mr. Right, just someone to keep me company while I continue the search for a charmer like Steen. <3

And anyone who knows me for very long will see that I am a strong woman who analyzes every situation, and that, once I have analyzed them to be sure I'm making the appropriate decisions, I'm going make my decisions regardless of the input of others. This includes the suggestion to grow my hair out. [Smile] Heh. How many other women do you know who could be described as 'babes' while sporting a buzz cut? It won't always suit me, so I'm going to rock it while I can. Incidentally, the haircut is really the only similarity between myself and Demi Moore.

--------------------
Fresh Meat

Posts: 66 | From: Central Washington | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 11:17      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Intelligent, perverse sense of humor, strong willed, dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin and a good voice and accent (able to sing is even better). Tattoos, piercings and combat boots are a plus.

I may not be the right guy to answer this *chuckle*

erynthenerd wrote:
Hmmm... I don't think that came off the right way. How do you people not instinctually know everything about me?

If I had any doubts about you being a woman, they were just erased .

That was a charming thing to say... right? [Big Grin]

How many other women do you know who could be described as 'babes' while sporting a buzz cut?

Three.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
sydneygirl
Geek Larva
Member # 11317

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 16:30      Profile for sydneygirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Erynthenerd:

What I found works if you want a 2nd date:
i) Be smiley if you like the person. Don't be creepy intimate, but smile to encourage that you do like him.
ii) No talking about past exes, or entire life history.
iii) Be an interesting person. Read cool books, go to a nice restaurant, go see movies, so that you have stuff to talk about on the night instead of just you.
iv) Take time to listen to your date and try to relate to what he's saying if you can. Don't monopolize the conversation.
v) Try to do something fun for your date. Dinners can lead to awkward silences if you are both nervous so do something interactive like kicking his butt at minigolf, or at least cheating terribly [Wink]
vi) Last of all, tell him if you want a 2nd date. I hate this whole game playing thing where the guy always has to make the first move etc. If I had a good time, I would send a sms afterwards saying thanks for a great evening, would love to catch up again etc. Guys get the message [Wink]

Posts: 29 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged
stevenback7
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 5114

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 17:00      Profile for stevenback7   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My only suggestion is that while analyzing situations might be good and shows that you are intelligent. Over analyzing can be a death sentence.

So if you had a good first date tell the guy that and make plans for another.

As well I would suggest that even though you might be one to stick to your decisions. It might not hurt to take advice from the guy you are on the date with.

--------------------
Comic Book Guy: There is no emoticon for what i'm feeling.

Posts: 1199 | From: Canada eh? | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 17:06      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oral sex during the drive home. I guarantee they will call for another date.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2465 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 18:10      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
@sydneygirl: re: (ii): Oh dear $DEITY, fsck yes!

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9332 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Eric-Ofcourse
Maximum Newbie
Member # 12035

Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 19:31      Profile for Eric-Ofcourse     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi Eryn,

I looked at your picture, and my one suggestion for how to attract men is this: grow your hair out. It is difficult to think erotically about a woman with very short hair because looking at her will always remind you subconsciously of an androgenous teenage boy. I speak only for myself, yet I doubt I am alone in this.

Hair down to at least the earlobe is the sign that says "Look, I am a woman!". It also tells our brains that you are a woman. Having a buzz cut is catering to such a specific niche-market of taste, it would seem in my eyes like a person throwing away their biggest advantage, definately a deal-breaker (for me), for even the best woman.

Thats my advice. Good luck!

Posts: 12 | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 21:19      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I disagree with everything Eric-Ofcourse said.

Erin, you're hawt, and if I was...

1. Single
2. 20 years younger
3. Several time-zones from my current location

I'd happily engage in a one-on-one discussion about what guys like in a woman.

p.s. sydneygirl and CommanderShroom offer good advice.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10680 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
erynthenerd
Mini Geek
Member # 12416

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 21:30      Profile for erynthenerd   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks for all the suggestions, but I have either a) already done or b) have very good reasons not to do pretty much all of them.

How did we stray from the turn-ons/turn-offs thing? I don't suppose I helped to keep things on-topic...

P.S. No matter now long or short my hair is, there is no mistaking me for an androgynous teenage boy. And I don't give head on the first date; It takes at least two dates before I'll do that.

--------------------
Fresh Meat

Posts: 66 | From: Central Washington | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged
MacManKrisK

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 955

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2007 22:09      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
Erin, you're hawt, and if I was...

1. Single
2. 20 years younger
3. Several time-zones from my current location

I'd happily engage in a one-on-one discussion about what guys like in a woman.

Hrm, I'm single, I'm 20 years younger than TFD, and I am certainly several time zones away from TFD's current location.

You're attractive, that's for sure, so I wouldn't worry about that or even "the hair thing" because it shouldn't make you break you either way...

Basically the one thing you need to attract a guy and keep him is confidence; and I would ascertain from the final statement of your first post that you are, perhaps, slightly lacking in that department. *shrug* It happens.

How do you improve your self-confidence? The first thing is to not fall into the trap of "I have no self-confidence, what's wrong with me?" It's a downward spiral, and a very vicious one at that (I speak from experience). You need to do some hard soul searching (which is SO easy to do in our modern age when we have 600,000,000 ways to distract ourselves) and find out what it is that you're unconfident about. Then you need to reprogram your thoughts, train yourself to think better about whatever that trait is. That is achieved through cold, hard, repetition. For example, if you had a confidence issue related to how you look, you would start telling yourself that you are, indeed, hawt. Back up that self-statement by reminding yourself that there are a bunch of people out there (those of us that have replied to this thread) that would corroborate that statement, and, heck, that MMKK guy practically threw himself at you in IRC.. that must mean something. ..but I digress [blush]

Okay, so maybe you don't have a self-confidence issue, but there are a few other things for finding/keeping a guy. Basically, be a good person -- don't be self-centered, be interested in what others have to say, listen in a conversation -- you get the idea.

Hrm.. not sure where I was going with this really, but I guess the best advice I can give you is to just be who you truly are and don't change for anybody or anything (unless you WANT to). There's a lot of fish out there in the sea, which means there's a LOT of guys who you just won't click with... don't be discouraged.. the right match will come along.

Oh, and one last thing... if you don't worry about finding someone, it'll make the whole experience easier and a lot more fun. [Smile]

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


Posts: 2331 | From: Southwest Michigan, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 20, 2007 12:03      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OK serious answer time.

What do you do?

Nothing.

The world is majestic in the strange sense that things tend to happen without rhyme or reason. One moment you are damning the entire opposite sex and humanity as a whole. And the next, poof, you are the dancing penguin in Mary Poppins. Putting away the LP's of King Diamond to begin playing Kelly Clarkson (?) on regular rotation.

Life changes and twists like the "Tail of the Dragon" and all you can do is keep upright and hope you don't go careening off the side of the road before you reach the end.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2465 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Grummash

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 4289

Icon 1 posted November 20, 2007 13:34      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi erynthenerd


I'll get my off-topic comments in first....and as I am happily married I won't be offended if they are ignored. You are right about the buzzcut, you won't get away with it for ever. With that bone structure you could probably keep the buzzcut until you are maybe 45 or 50 (especially with those glasses), then you might want to grow it out. [Wink]

The posters who are saying "do nothing" to attract a partner are right - it is one of life's ironies, but if you stop thinking about it, it is more likely to happen.

Now - back to the original question...

Turn-ons... a girl who looks you dead in the eye, long thin fingers, red hair (meaning proper carroty-ginger), a nice accent, freckles.

Turn-offs....bad manners, smoking, slovenliness.

--------------------
...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
macmcseboy

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1232

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 20, 2007 21:06      Profile for macmcseboy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
WOW, we have a Persis Khambatta lookalike! *Drool* She was one of the prettiest, most beautiful gals to go bald on film. It might make me sound OLD, but hey, I've been stagnating on the shelf for 4 years...

--------------------
Live long and prosper.

Posts: 1139 | From: Victoria BC... | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
David Rogers
Mini Geek
Member # 1373

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 21, 2007 08:34      Profile for David Rogers     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Turn-ons:
-------------------------
Self confidence
Able to think for themselves

Turn-offs:
-------------------------
Smoking
Constantly complaining about their day
Talking about exes

David Rogers

Posts: 66 | From: Champaign IL USA | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 21, 2007 09:19      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I totally missed the point of this topic.

Turn-ons.

Self reliant.
Giving.
Able to sit and talk for hours without it being a chore.
And a love of anything that has a motor in it.
Understanding

Turn-offs

Self centered
Self righteousness

Those two are definite deal breakers. And of course looks factor in. But no matter how she may look, if I think her soul is a wasteland, I am not interested.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2465 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 748

Member Rated:
5
Icon 12 posted November 21, 2007 10:31      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, I can't really stick to the topic as 1) I'm female, and 2) I'm more interested in finding a man that fits _my_ turn-ons and avoid _my_ turn-offs than finding men's (general) turn-ons and turn-offs and trying to fit them.

So the closest I can get would be to offer my lists:

Turn-ons in a man:
curiousity (about anything and everything)
open-mindedness (kinda implied with the previous one)
great sense of humour (and doesn't mind my frequent blunders)
I don't know how to put out this one: intensity? passion? tenacity? I'm talking about the ability to get up and get things done when the need arises (but a bit laid-back otherwise)
Should I mention a great smile, too? [Big Grin]

Turn-offs in a man:
married or otherwise taken
emotively dependent
negative attitude and self-destructive habits (smoking, drugs, agressivity, etc.)
facial hair [Eek!] (although some men look great with beard/mustache, I prefer the clean-shaved ones: I find them more attractive kissing-wise)

Oh, and a clean-freak would probably be the worst possible match for me - unless he really likes cleaning and doesn't mind tidying after me: then it's a perfect match. (That, or I would have to hire a cleaning service.)

--------------------
Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
chromatic
Geek
Member # 164

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 21, 2007 10:40      Profile for chromatic   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by erynthenerd:
I've got to figure out what's wrong with me.

Thinking there's something wrong with you, unless there is... and you seem pretty decent so far.

Maybe you just have poor taste in men and blame yourself for that.

Posts: 223 | From: Squeaky First Geek House | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Eric-Ofcourse
Maximum Newbie
Member # 12035

Icon 1 posted November 21, 2007 15:51      Profile for Eric-Ofcourse     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
ooh.. listing ideal qualities! [Smile]

the ideal woman for me..

1. she has a knowledge of her roots, i.e. her parents and grandparents mean something to her, she has some tradition.

2. her mind is interesting enough that you want to know what she thinks about things, and conversation is interesting.

3. She never puts herself 100% out in the open, has some reserve, some mystery, doesnt immediately say everything she feels. You think about her afterwards because she is not entirely obvious, but subtle.

4. not sexually promiscuous, but has a secret wild streak, which you get to find out about later.

5. has powerful hips

6. doesnt have a self-image problem, i.e "I am too fat", but loves and accepts her body.

7. is generally happy and rarely in a hurry.

now I'm off to the LOLcatz threads, to get some serious food for thought. [Wink]

Posts: 12 | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged
sydneygirl
Geek Larva
Member # 11317

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 21, 2007 19:30      Profile for sydneygirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have to agree with Eric.

Some of the things I try to look out for whilst on a date:
- His relationship with his family and friends, and whether he treats them well. Anyone who bails out on their parents to go out with me wouldn't last very long ;P
- Is generally happy. Nothing turns me off than a guy with a chip on his shoulder. I actually like when a date doesn't go as planned - eg the restaurant lost our reservation etc because then I can watch how my date handles it. I like guys who can laugh at themselves and the situation.
- I don't like guys who are too open. I think that guys should have some reserve and barriers as girls do. I would run a mile from anyone who invited me home on a blind date, or asked me to stay the weekend.. too much too soon! [Wink]
- A guy with lively intelligence who is interested and passionate about the world around him. Big turn off if he relies on me to make conversation the whole night..!

Posts: 29 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted November 21, 2007 20:22      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Turn-offs:
Talking about exes

Turn-ons:
Talking about axes

[evil]

Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

2015 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam