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Author Topic: Guys, would you rather be in a
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 03:58      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
relationship with a woman, even if it's imperfect and she sometimes drives you crazy - or have your peace and be alone?

I came across this concept elsewhere and wondered what the geek men thought.

Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 04:36            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think that is a lose/lose question ...
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Stibbons
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 05:02      Profile for Stibbons   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Kinda the former. I don't have a problem with the lady occasionally driving me crazy [Smile]
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Callipygous
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 05:13      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The sting comes in the tail, can you live alone and be at peace? Most of us need someone to love, and a cat is not really quite enough. I don't know why my marriage has lasted 24 years, as I am not easy to live with and neither is my wife, and I can be a complete arsehole at times. We do often drive each other crazy. But we also do still make each other laugh and find each other exciting and unpredictable, and despite knowing the fscked up side of each others character, we still care about each other. Maybe that has seen us through the tough times thus far, though of course the future has no guarantees. Anyway she's the most wonderful woman and I don't deserve her, but am so so lucky that she loves me too.

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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

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nerdwithnofriends
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 06:07      Profile for nerdwithnofriends     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'd like to be all dark and mysterious and say I'd rather be alone. However, if I were in a relationship, I would want my SO to drive me crazy every once in a while; I enjoy a playful fight every now and again (keyword here being 'playful').

'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

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"The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower." - Robert M. Pirsig

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Black Widow
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 07:23      Profile for Black Widow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

Amen. [blush]
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Ugh, MightyClub
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 09:22      Profile for Ugh, MightyClub     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

Amen. [blush]
BW, you are the most insensitive clod I've yet seen on this board!!

...

I'm sorry, that was very insensitive of me.

There, we made up. Can we have sex now? [Wink] [evil]

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Ugh!

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business attire
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 10:03      Profile for business attire     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
I'd like to be all dark and mysterious and say I'd rather be alone. However, if I were in a relationship, I would want my SO to drive me crazy every once in a while; I enjoy a playful fight every now and again (keyword here being 'playful').

'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

marry me.
I'll do a great job of driving you crazy. promise.

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 11:17      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
There's definitely something to be said for difficult women. They may drive you crazy, but they also keep life interesting. For me, at least, that's far more desirable than a life that is all peaceful and quiet, not to mention lonely.

... as long as they keep the craziness down to a level that doesn't involve criminal charges being filed, that is. [Roll Eyes]

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 11:24      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
After 37 years of being married to the same woman, I would like to agree with Calli's post above.

I think that men *need* for their woman to be mysterious thus interesting thus sometimes difficult.

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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Stibbons
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 11:56      Profile for Stibbons   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by business attire:
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
I'd like to be all dark and mysterious and say I'd rather be alone. However, if I were in a relationship, I would want my SO to drive me crazy every once in a while; I enjoy a playful fight every now and again (keyword here being 'playful').

'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

marry me.
I'll do a great job of driving you crazy. promise.

I notice there was no comment on the quality of your make-up sex... [Razz]
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stevenback7
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 12:15      Profile for stevenback7   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I myself don't mind being alone, i have so much things to do that a relationship isn't in my scedule. And since i'm a geek i'm never truelly alone because there is always a chat room one click away. But if i was in a relationship i would want to be in one where the woman does drive me crazy (in a good way).

Stibbons ____ its sex not a science experiment.

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Comic Book Guy: There is no emoticon for what i'm feeling.

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Ugh, MightyClub
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 13:16      Profile for Ugh, MightyClub     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by stevenback7:

Stibbons ____ its sex not a science experiment.

Hey, if she wants to offer up evidence, who are we to complain?
/me ducks!

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Ugh!

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nerdwithnofriends
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 13:45      Profile for nerdwithnofriends     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by business attire:
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
I'd like to be all dark and mysterious and say I'd rather be alone. However, if I were in a relationship, I would want my SO to drive me crazy every once in a while; I enjoy a playful fight every now and again (keyword here being 'playful').

'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

marry me.
I'll do a great job of driving you crazy. promise.

Sure thang. Honeymoon in Fiji, methinks... [Razz]

--------------------
"The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower." - Robert M. Pirsig

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business attire
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 14:13      Profile for business attire     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Stibbons:
quote:
Originally posted by business attire:
marry me.
I'll do a great job of driving you crazy. promise.

I notice there was no comment on the quality of your make-up sex... [Razz]
Why should make-up sex be different than any other sex? ALL of my sex is amazing. [Razz]

quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
Sure thang. Honeymoon in Fiji, methinks...

YUSS! So, are we going to live in NC or Montana? I vote NEITHER.
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spungo
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2007 14:18      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

I tried make-up sex once... pain in the ass getting the lipstick out of yer poo-hole afterwards. [Wink]

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

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freja42
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Icon 1 posted January 15, 2007 05:27      Profile for freja42     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by boo:
relationship with a woman, even if it's imperfect and she sometimes drives you crazy - or have your peace and be alone?

I came across this concept elsewhere and wondered what the geek men thought.

OK, I'm a woman but I'll take the question the other way: Can I be in a relationship with a guy even if it's imperfect and he sometimes drives me crazy or have my peace and be alone?

Well, nobody is perfect and there is no such thing as a relationship with any other human that is perfectly happy.
One has to compromise with friends aswell as lovers and family. It's all about WHAT we compromise about and HOW MUCH.

Trust me, I've been single for most of my life and I'm very picky. I've made some mistakes when it comes to men but now I know better. I don't go out with just anybody because it's not worth it.

I like being single because it gives me a lot of freedom and I don't need to be in a relationship just to be happy.
On the other hand, I think humans are made for a social "pack" life. We're not made to live alone and personally, I have no intention of living alone just for the sake of it. [Smile]

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catgoddess
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Icon 1 posted January 15, 2007 09:20      Profile for catgoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

I tried make-up sex once... pain in the ass getting the lipstick out of yer poo-hole afterwards. [Wink]
Sweetie... you're not suppose to shove the lipstick tube up your poo-hole. I know it appears to be a manageable size, but next time, leave the cap on. Whatever you do, don't ever shove rice pudding up there.

My two cents...

Make-up sex is fueled, deep down, by anger, frustration, and/or the turn-on of arguing. All of which are less than desirable in my eyes. However, I think that make-up sex, as long as it is part of an otherwise healthy sex life, is nothing I would worry about.

I've been in far more relationships than I'll admit to [Smile] , but I will share this... most men like drama because they've come to expect it. They have absolutely no clue what to do with a woman who is relatively drama-free. No clue. None. Nada.

As a woman who is less mysterious, more open; less drama-filled, more communicative; less needy, more independent; less flighty, more stable... I can tell you from personal experience that men are very attracted to the "more" qualities for only so long. In time, most of them try to change me into the "less" column by constantly telling me, "You're so different; I'm not used to it." "I have no idea how to react to you." etc, etc.

I've never screamed, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." to any man I've ever known, let alone dated. I'm not here to provide mystery; our own existence provides enough mystery on its own.

Quite frankly, I'm here to enjoy life the best that I can and to share that with people who love me just as I am. I'd rather be alone (and that is not lonely, btw) than to ever stay in a relationship that thrives on anything other than love, understanding, acceptance, trust, and stability. I've been in more than enough of the other kind to know they just don't work for me.

--------------------
"I love humanity but I hate people." Edna St. Vincent Millay

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted January 15, 2007 19:02      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by catgoddess:
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
'Sides, there's no sex like make-up sex [Smile]

I tried make-up sex once... pain in the ass getting the lipstick out of yer poo-hole afterwards. [Wink]
...Whatever you do, don't ever shove rice pudding up there.


Interesting... I've had custard in my underpants before, but rice pudding?

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

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catgoddess
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Icon 1 posted January 15, 2007 19:15      Profile for catgoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
we wont even discuss the chocolate frosting...

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"I love humanity but I hate people." Edna St. Vincent Millay

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csk

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Icon 1 posted January 16, 2007 00:47      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by catgoddess:
As a woman who is less mysterious, more open; less drama-filled, more communicative; less needy, more independent; less flighty, more stable... I can tell you from personal experience that men are very attracted to the "more" qualities for only so long. In time, most of them try to change me into the "less" column by constantly telling me, "You're so different; I'm not used to it." "I have no idea how to react to you." etc, etc.

I've never screamed, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." to any man I've ever known, let alone dated. I'm not here to provide mystery; our own existence provides enough mystery on its own.

Firstly, I'm currently seeing someone who is similarly different to you (not a drama queen etc), and yes the contrast to my past experience is large. However, the guy's reactions, or more accurately, not being sure how to react to you is possibly not as much aimed at changing you as you think. In my experience, it's to do with a guy working out how to react to "volatile" females, getting somewhat used to that, and then the whole world changes when someone "stable" comes along (ie, you).

So my advice would be, don't write the guy(s) off too soon, give them time to get used to the comparatively mellow relational style that works with your personality.

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

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GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
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Icon 1 posted January 16, 2007 09:16      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
csk wrote:
So my advice would be, don't write the guy(s) off too soon, give them time to get used to the comparatively mellow relational style that works with your personality.

Or learn to enjoy teasing and verbally abusing them for hours on end...

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted January 16, 2007 09:24      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmm...I sort of missed this thread by chance, only catching the amusing threadjacking.

To answer the original question: There's something to be said for a delicious bit of quiet. ;P That's not to say it doesn't have some decided downsides...but not having changed the situation for awhile, I can't thoroughly complain. [Razz]

I think for the former case, it would really depend on how crazy or aggravating things got. Not a lot gets to me, but I certainly don't enjoy being nagged, etc. I really can't see staying in a relationship where both parties are basically tired of each other, or constantly giving each other grief.

But...I'm probably the last person around to give advice. [Wink] [Except maybe AstroJedi or uilleann (sorry mate, but I'm sure you'd agree!).]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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shriver
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Icon 1 posted January 16, 2007 12:33      Profile for shriver     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've never had the experience of a real relationship before. I do have a few close female friends that provide most of the female input in my life. I've done alright so far being 'alone,' although, I can't say I don't want a more intimate relationship at times.

--------------------
And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I.

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catgoddess
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Icon 1 posted January 16, 2007 19:20      Profile for catgoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
However, the guy's reactions, or more accurately, not being sure how to react to you is possibly not as much aimed at changing you as you think. In my experience, it's to do with a guy working out how to react to "volatile" females, getting somewhat used to that, and then the whole world changes when someone "stable" comes along (ie, you).

Every guy gets a shot to adjust to what he claims to want in a relationship. That adjustment period varies greatly depending on the guy and the level of promise the relationship appears to have.

I was referring (although, not as clearly as I had hoped) to the vast majority of guys who just complain about the differences and how difficult it is to adjust instead of adjusting. Some even mistake adjusting to having to change some aspect of their personalities... who they are, if you will. This is not only absurd, it's also incorrect. It's just adjusting a behavior that, quite frankly, isn't a positive thing anyway.

quote:
Originally posted by csk:
So my advice would be, don't write the guy(s) off too soon, give them time to get used to the comparatively mellow relational style that works with your personality.

I don't write anyone off too soon. If anything, I keep them around too long. I try to ditch the losers with great speed, but some of them are sneaky.

quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
Or learn to enjoy teasing and verbally abusing them for hours on end...

You're a freak, Lucy. You like it when Ricky cooks juicy chicken breasts and you know it! So hush.

--------------------
"I love humanity but I hate people." Edna St. Vincent Millay

Posts: 102 | From: Rochester, NY | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged


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