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» The Geek Culture Forums   » Love!   » Guys, Guys, Guys!   » Why don't men want to talk about stuff? (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Why don't men want to talk about stuff?
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted October 24, 2006 16:47      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Astronomer Jedi:
Hugs for Serenak everyone.

I don't mind talking about my feelings, I just generally don't do it with family, precisely because they all see me as the strong, stoic one. I'm also wary about sharing with newish people too much...I did that once towards the beginning of the year, as some of you may remember, and that didn't go so well.

It's also hard even talking to my counselor at uni over study matters.

It makes sense to me to be careful about with whom you share your feelings. [Smile] But I hate that you have difficulty even with study matters. [Frown]
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
quote:
Originally posted by boo:
Women like to discuss things and get them out in the open. Men shut up tighter than a clam shell the minute their wife/gf says, "We've got to talk."

Every man knows, when women say "we've got to talk" it's almost always bad news.

If you really want to know why men and women can't communicate, the answer can be found here.

Heehee .. that's one of the best (and most entertaining) explanations I've ever read! You should have that published. [Big Grin] Certainly makes men look like the more reasonable gender, lol.
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Serenak:
Oh yeah and btw, I can't remember the number of relationships/marriages I have seen fail because after she persuaded him to change his clothes and his hair and his friends and his job and his way of life until he was just another grey guy slaving away to pay the mortgage she didn't love him any more "becuase you're not the man I met/fell in love with/married any more!!!! [Mad]

It's amazing how much better a relationship where each person takes the other person as they come actually is. ... but the liberation of being yourself rather than being a chameleon to adapt to suit who you're trying to please is amazing.
Some women are quite mad. [Smile] And it does seem to be a tendancy of many women to want to change men. Not sure why though. But I totally agree. Be true to yourself.

quote:
Originally posted by MacManKrisK:
Although I like a number of the explanations in this thread, I'd like to offer yet another. Men don't talk about their feelings because they don't really know what they're feeling! (Standard "I'm generalizing, duh!" caveat applies here!)

Men deal in more concrete areas: math, science, computers... stuff where theres always a "right" answer, a single conclusion, a testable hypothesis. Feelings are the absolute antethisis of the types of thought pattterns men excel at. Hence, when you ask a guy about his feelings and he says "I don't know," it's really because he doesn't know, because he can't test his feelings and come to one single, solid, 100% conclusion.

Also very inciteful! I love that. See, you guys are excellent at expressing yourselves. I'm sure your girlfrieds all love you for it, too. That's the thing about geek men, I've found them to be more thoughtful, more romantic and funnier than most men. Just a few of the reasons I love them.
Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
HalfVast

Member # 3187

Icon 1 posted October 24, 2006 16:56      Profile for HalfVast     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Boo wrote:
What's the big deal? Why can't you just say what you feel?

I really don't want to talk about it....
Posts: 795 | From: In the mitten around the abductor pollicis brevis. | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted October 24, 2006 16:56      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Btw, THANKS for the overwhelming response. I wasn't expecting near that many contributions. I honestly mean it when I say I learned a lot. It's been very eye opening and I appreciate all of you contributing.
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boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted October 24, 2006 16:57      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by HalfVast:
quote:
Boo wrote:
What's the big deal? Why can't you just say what you feel?

I really don't want to talk about it....
[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Razz]
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LoneWolf
Mini Geek
Member # 4966

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Icon 1 posted October 25, 2006 13:36      Profile for LoneWolf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Those four words send a chill down my spine! always a harbinger of bad news.

However, I had a GF who phoned and said "we need to talk." I thought the relationship was over and spent the whole afternoon wondering what I did wrong!! Turns out she really just wanted to talk. Phew!

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Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, i

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted October 25, 2006 13:48      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Is it just me or are "we need to talk' and "can I talk to you about <something>?" the scariest phrases in English? Whenever I hear this I get very wary, kinda like an animal that's not sure if it's in a trap or not.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted October 25, 2006 13:49      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I wear my feelings on my sleave. If anyone arround me is having trouble figguring out what I'm feeling they are not paying attention. As for "talking about your feelings" is silly because feelings are not based in reason, so you can't reason away or logically explain them... . . .

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My Site

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted October 25, 2006 13:50      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Is it just me or are "we need to talk' and "can I talk to you about <something>?" the scariest phrases in English? Whenever I hear this I get very wary, kinda like an animal that's not sure if it's in a trap or not.

Absolutely! I start feeling guilty even if I know I didn't do anything. It's kind of like the teacher saying, "Come and see me after class."

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
óMiss Piggy

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GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted October 25, 2006 13:59      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Is it just me or are "we need to talk' and "can I talk to you about <something>?" the scariest phrases in English? Whenever I hear this I get very wary, kinda like an animal that's not sure if it's in a trap or not.

Absolutely! I start feeling guilty even if I know I didn't do anything. It's kind of like the teacher saying, "Come and see me after class."
"Come see me after class" is mild in comparison to the school wide PA system screeching in on the middle of class, and the secretary comming on "Will _____, please come to the principle's office." Followed by the "OOOOoooooo" of the people in room.

"We need to talk." or the boss saying "Can I have a word with you in my office?" are worse than that though.

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My Site

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted October 25, 2006 14:24      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Relevant link?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/10/25/BAG78LVGRI1.DTL

[evil]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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