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Author Topic: Moving on... how?
Beth
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Icon 9 posted December 27, 2003 19:14      Profile for Beth   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I need help. There's a certain fellow in my life that I have severely affectionate feelings for. We will never be anything but friends; anything more is definitely a no-go. I'm really happy being friends, and yet I can't help but want a little more.

Anyway, does anyone have any advice on getting over these unwanted mushy feelings? Other than time or not seeing my friend anymore? I'm really hoping they aren't my only two options, but I can't think of any others. [Frown]

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"What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go 'quack'...cats! I'm being nibbled to death by cats."

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Slurpy
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Icon 1 posted December 27, 2003 19:53      Profile for Slurpy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Why is it a no-go? Is he gay, missing his penis, or a brother/father?

I can't think of any other reason for him to be denied you eternally. . .

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I must first reveal my personal bias in this discussion, since I worship at the 'First Church of PDF Really Sucks.'
-Bruce Tognazzini
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angryjungman

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Icon 1 posted December 27, 2003 21:12      Profile for angryjungman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A good friend once told me that the best way to get over feelings for someone you can't have [or don't think you can have] is to transfer those feelings to another person. It's worked for me, but I'm not sure how healthy doing such things are.

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Meh.

Posts: 633 | From: princeton, nj | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
Beth
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Icon 1 posted December 28, 2003 14:12      Profile for Beth   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Why is it a no-go? Is he gay, missing his penis, or a brother/father?
Admittedly, no. But there is a fairly lengthy list of why it'd never happen, not least of all the fact that the last time someone mentioned the idea to us, the guy just about choked on his milk from laughter and declared, "That would be like the worst match ever! Holy cow, welcome to nightmaresville!"

Not promising. [shake head]

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"What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go 'quack'...cats! I'm being nibbled to death by cats."

Posts: 88 | From: Winterpeg, Canada | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
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Icon 1 posted December 28, 2003 21:22      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
But there is a fairly lengthy list of why it'd never happen, not least of all the fact that the last time someone mentioned the idea to us, the guy just about choked on his milk from laughter and declared, "That would be like the worst match ever! Holy cow, welcome to nightmaresville!"

Depending on age, the "that would be the worst match" might have been trying to cover up the real reason for spitting milk. Heh, look I still have some of that GameMaster optimisim left....

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2003 02:24      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Beth Then it is not impossible, in my own life the things or thoughts that I outwardly rejected at that age were the ideas that I feared the most. So to my twisted logic back then he has thought about the idea.

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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magebard
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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2003 21:15      Profile for magebard     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Beth:
I need help. There's a certain fellow in my life that I have severely affectionate feelings for. We will never be anything but friends; anything more is definitely a no-go. I'm really happy being friends, and yet I can't help but want a little more.

Anyway, does anyone have any advice on getting over these unwanted mushy feelings? Other than time or not seeing my friend anymore? I'm really hoping they aren't my only two options, but I can't think of any others. [Frown]

Ask him out. If he turns you down, you'll be devastated but afterwards get over it much faster, instead of wondering if maybe there could be this tiny little chance. If he accepts, well, that's another story isn't it? Either way, it's better to try and know for sure.

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"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks." - Winston Churchill

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Demosthenes
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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2003 21:39      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
you have a choice: either do something about it, or feel the burn of not being able to have him until it fades naturally. there's no forcing feelings to go away, obviously. i'd recommend that you do something about it; having him turn you down can often be enough to make your crush die on the spot, and you've always got the tiniest scrap of a fragment of a chance of him saying yes, going out for coffee with you, and adjourning to your boudior for a round of sweaty fetus-making.

think of it as you would tearing a off band-aid, after your wound's been leaking a while, and it's been stuck on there for a good couple of days or so...you know, when road rash or something gets really terribly infected. you can either peel it off and feel every hideous bit of crusty pus flake off of your skin, or you can put an eraser between your teeth and yank.

(yes, i did just compare asking out a boy to an infected bicycle injury. deal. [Roll Eyes] )

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2003 22:04      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Screw the eraser. If you're going to be ripping bandages off seeping road rash, yell and scream and curse like there's no tomorrow. Why should you be the only one that suffers? [Razz] My own personal trick is to get the bandage nice and wet in the shower. It'll hurt, but not as much.

Actually, it really isn't such a bad analogy. Asking, even when the answer is positive, sucks.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2003 23:48      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmm, remind me to take a few steps back (or flee the area) if/when I'm around and you're removing a bandage :-P.

Oh yeah - asking definitely sucks, and is not easy to do. It also really doesn't get any easier the longer you put it off. This is particuarly true if you have a bit of shyness in you as I do, resulting in some form of wavering question, finding a million words, where 6 would suffice. Just remember - if it doesn't work - it didn't work, that's the end of it, it's done - you asked. But if it does work, all is well, and it wouldn't have happened if you didn't ask. So ask!

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted December 31, 2003 09:30      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ah yes...
Dman: *mumble mumble*
Me: Huh?
Dman: I *mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble* you?
Me: You're mumbling.
Dman: I know.
Me: Well out with it.
Dman: Er, can I give you a hug?
Me: Yes.
[shake head] [Roll Eyes] Baka dragon.
Actually, I think it's kinda cute, in a very loveable and exasperating way.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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hey-U
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Icon 1 posted December 31, 2003 09:45      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Ah yes...
Dman: *mumble mumble*
Me: Huh?
Dman: I *mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble* you?
Me: You're mumbling.
Dman: I know.
Me: Well out with it.
Dman: Er, can I give you a hug?
Me: Yes.
[shake head] [Roll Eyes] Baka dragon.
Actually, I think it's kinda cute, in a very loveable and exasperating way.

oh ferfuxake... TAKE IT OUTSIDE YOU TWO!!!

It's *not* cute.
It's not loveable.
It's *beyond* exasperating.

(sound of hey-U throwing up)

fugginell...
[Mad] [Mad] [Mad]

Posts: 1263 | From: London | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
hey-U
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Icon 1 posted December 31, 2003 09:55      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Beth:
I need help. There's a certain fellow in my life that I have severely affectionate feelings for. We will never be anything but friends; anything more is definitely a no-go. I'm really happy being friends, and yet I can't help but want a little more.

Anyway, does anyone have any advice on getting over these unwanted mushy feelings? Other than time or not seeing my friend anymore? I'm really hoping they aren't my only two options, but I can't think of any others. [Frown]

quote:
And it took me a dictionary to find out the meaning of "unrequited"
- Billy Bragg.

I feel much the same way about a certain young woman in that Abroad place...

BUT I'm smart enough to know it ain't going to happen (time, distance, and anyway I don't believe she feels the same way about me) - so just enjoy the 'romance' side of it while it lasts and stop trying to make it into a 'relationship' where none exists.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 31, 2003 09:59      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Xanthine: Heh. 'Twas thinking of you not long ago - nice to see thee around [hearts]

hey-U: Ooops, sorry [Smile] . Re: above - Easier said than done [Razz] .

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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hey-U
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Icon 1 posted December 31, 2003 10:04      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
Xanthine: Heh. 'Twas thinking of you not long ago - nice to see thee around [hearts]

hey-U: Ooops, sorry [Smile] . Re: above - Easier said than done [Razz] .

aaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hey-U runs away screaming, covered in vomit... thinks: now, where did i leave my shotgun?)

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted December 31, 2003 12:29      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
/me hands Hey-u a paper ketchup cup
If you're going to spew, spew into this.

We can't take it outside...he's 3 mountain ranges, several rivers, one Great Plains, and three time zones away from me right now.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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WinterSolstice

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Icon 10 posted January 07, 2004 15:42      Profile for WinterSolstice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmmmm. Hey-U is having issues with maturity, and Dman and Xanthine are getting friendly in the "Love" "Guys, Guys, Guys!" forum.

Sounds about normal to me [Smile]

Besides. If love makes you uncomfortable, stay away from the "love" forum...

Duh.

-WS

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An operating system should be like a light switch... simple, effective, easy to use, and designed for everyone.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted January 07, 2004 16:51      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by WinterSolstice:
Hmmmm. Hey-U is having issues with maturity, and Dman and Xanthine are getting friendly in the "Love" "Guys, Guys, Guys!" forum.

Sounds about normal to me [Smile]

Besides. If love makes you uncomfortable, stay away from the "love" forum...

Duh.

-WS

Hehehe [Smile] . You rock, Winter [Big Grin] .

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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hey-U
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Icon 1 posted January 07, 2004 23:22      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by WinterSolstice:
hey-U is having issues with maturity

No - I have issues with public displays of affection (PDAs? [Wink] ), whichever Forum they're in.

[Big Grin]

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted January 08, 2004 03:20      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by WinterSolstice:
If love makes you uncomfortable, stay away from the "love" forum...

Does that mean it's okay for me to smooch Blow-up Betty in here?

Spungo: ah, diddums... me wuv woo
Betty: Squeak!
Spungo: oooz a wittuw wuvwy fing?
Betty: gerrrp...squeak!
Spungo: someone wants to pway horsey, don't they...yes...
Betty: Squeak!

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
hey-U
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Icon 1 posted January 08, 2004 03:32      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
oh.
my.
god...
[Eek!]

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Allan
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Icon 1 posted January 08, 2004 04:16      Profile for Allan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Does that mean it's okay for me to smooch Blow-up Betty in here?

Doesn't bother me, but you know she's a two timing witch?
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spungo
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Icon 1 posted January 08, 2004 04:35      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Allan:
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Does that mean it's okay for me to smooch Blow-up Betty in here?

Doesn't bother me, but you know she's a two timing witch?
That's alright - I've been seeing Latex Linda on the side, anyway. (She chafes less!)

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
MTB Babe
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Icon 4 posted January 08, 2004 05:42      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I heard Latex Linda gets around!!

--------------------
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted January 08, 2004 05:47      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by MTB Babe:
I heard Latex Linda gets around!!

Well, she's never bought me a drink, the bitch! [Wink]

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged


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