homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » News, Reviews, Views!   » The Joke Bank!   » belly inflation

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: belly inflation
Ashitaka

SuperFan!
Member # 4924

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 03, 2009 12:55      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I just learned tonight that people do this.

WTF people


Here are some links I found. prolly NSFW

In hole

out hole

--------------------
"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

-Assif Mandvi

Posts: 3089 | From: Switzerland | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
TMBWITW,PB

Member # 1734

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 03, 2009 13:28      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm half concerned that what these guys are doing is potentially very hazardous and half impressed that you managed to find a form of body modification that I haven't even remotely heard of. All in all a good find.

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

Posts: 4010 | From: my couch | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 03, 2009 17:04      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ Darwin, any one, I hope they don't breed.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5836 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ashitaka

SuperFan!
Member # 4924

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 00:17      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TheMoMan:
____ Darwin, any one, I hope they don't breed.

That is the the, it is a fetish, this increases thier ability to breed with a select group of females.

--------------------
"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

-Assif Mandvi

Posts: 3089 | From: Switzerland | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 02:36      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ ASH, This seems like something that "dateless" young men in a college dorm would do on a fri./sat. night. If there are young ladies present, I believe that their thoughts are no way would I marry that (word for sitter-downer). I also believe that words to the effect of "hold my beer and watch this" are involved.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5836 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 05:26      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That's not so bad. The real freaks are practicing scrotal inflation.

I would suggest not searching for videos. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
TMBWITW,PB

Member # 1734

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 08:16      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GrumpySteen:
That's not so bad. The real freaks are practicing scrotal inflation.

I would suggest not searching for videos. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

For some reason that seems safer. At least they're using saline instead of just hooking up a compressor to their bellies. Also, I've heard of (and seen--in photos anyway) that one before. [Wink]

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

Posts: 4010 | From: my couch | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ashitaka

SuperFan!
Member # 4924

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 08:57      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I would think saline would be much safer than air. I would think trapped air inside the body would become painful if you can't get it out. Like being gassy while having to sit for a long time in really tight jeans, you get stoach cramps.

--------------------
"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

-Assif Mandvi

Posts: 3089 | From: Switzerland | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 17:24      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ Ok, here goes, during robotic Surgery, the patient is inflated, lights, tools and vidio are all put in the abdomen. If it is for the prostate the table is tipped into head down as far as is possible, to get the internal organs to slide out of the way, breathing is done by machine or bagged. The offending organ is removed and the tools,lights, and camera come out. The holes are sutured and the patient is allowed to wake up. So MrGeek2U and myself have been inflated, I do not know if we looked like the vidios but prolly. I do know when I woke up my belly hurt like I had stepped on home plate and caught the bat in the belly

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5836 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 21:13      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Any other 'All Creatures Great And Small' fans out there?

'Nuf said.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10669 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
TMBWITW,PB

Member # 1734

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 04, 2009 22:24      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
Any other 'All Creatures Great And Small' fans out there?

'Nuf said.

I've neither read the books nor seen the series, so I'm actually fairly confused at that. Googling "all creatures great and small stomach inflating" isn't getting me anywhere either.

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

Posts: 4010 | From: my couch | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ashitaka

SuperFan!
Member # 4924

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 05, 2009 00:17      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
[QUOTE] Googling "all creatures great and small stomach inflating" isn't getting me anywhere either.

google's auto-complete has prabably learned this phrase now. way-to-go. You just probably really confused somone who wanted to google "all creatures great and small"

--------------------
"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

-Assif Mandvi

Posts: 3089 | From: Switzerland | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 05, 2009 01:58      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I've neither read the books nor seen the series, so I'm actually fairly confused at that. Googling "all creatures great and small stomach inflating" isn't getting me anywhere either.

There's a classic scene where a sheep (cow?) with an upset tummy is badly bloated with methane, and needs to be vented by one of the vets. In the background the farmer is seen lighting his pipe...

BOOM!

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10669 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 05, 2009 02:59      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ During my college dorm days, some students would load up on gassy food prior to the weekend. Then there would be flatulance lighting contests. Several people ended up with thier private parts hair burnt off. Near here on of the milk farmers heats his house with the out gassing from the barn septic tank.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5836 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
SpazGirl
Assimilated
Member # 4915

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 05, 2009 07:58      Profile for SpazGirl   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The former pre-med student in me is just going "No no no no no, do you know how many organs you can rupture by doing that?". Then my inner biologist wants to know how much air pressure the human stomach can actually withstand.

--------------------
Things, and things.

Posts: 465 | From: Ypsilanti, MI | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 05, 2009 09:25      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ Pressures, back when I was in flight status in the Navy. We had to go, on the ground flying. Low pressure Chamber. This was used to simulate altitude, think large pressure vessel that you could walk into, and a fairly large vacuum pump. Each person was advised to not eat gassy foods the day before altitude simulation but some never read the memo. Any way the chamber was pumped down to equal 40K feet, of course you had to be on oxygen at that alt. I do know that setting in the chamber at those presses caused major discomfort, Now if you were wearing a full flight suit it held your belly and thighs at normal size.

____ I am not sure what level of vacuum the chamber was at to show 40K feet of altitude.

____ Those penis enlarger things that are a transparent tube with a vacuum pump, have a relief valve that is supposed to not let the user pull more than 1/2 atmo. of vacuum on their private parts. So I am guessing that 7.5 PSIG or 500mm of Hg would be near the top.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5836 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 10, 2009 07:19      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ These came in this mornings E-Mail


Okay Read this but be ready to laugh your ass off...


“Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife" A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15Th. anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second!) and thought better of it... She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best! I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dip-shit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing could't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY M0THER OF G0D ~ WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A
three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid



Dear Sirs:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to
pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his
presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to
honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension,
an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You
are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also
for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused
to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident
has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters,
- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,
overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From
now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be
automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and
confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to
open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I
require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages,
but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about
me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her
medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory
details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and
liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN
number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it
cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number
of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone
bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press
buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me.

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is
required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that
Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on
hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this may, on
occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration
of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

(Remember: Don't make us old folks mad. We don't like being old in the
first place, so it doesn't take much to set us off!)

"Life ain't in holdn' a good hand but in playin' a poor one well"

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5836 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time  
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2015 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam