homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » News, Reviews, Views!   » The Joke Bank!   » The banker/stockbroker joke thread

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: The banker/stockbroker joke thread
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 06, 2008 22:58      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ok, so it's hardly surprising that banker/stockbroker jokes are doing the rounds at the moment, so I thought I'd start a thread where we can share them all.

Here's one I heard today (an oldie, but a goodie)

Q) What's the difference between a banker and a pigeon?

A) A pigeon can still put a deposit on a BMW.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10668 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
YaYawoman

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 4505

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted October 07, 2008 05:44      Profile for YaYawoman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hehehehe. This is an oldie too, but Ilove it.

A broker comes in from an emergency meeting with a client. His receptionist buzzes and says "excuse me, but a Mr. Margin is on line 2 and he has been calling all morning"

Posts: 765 | From: virginia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 07, 2008 15:02      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The Blind Bunny


One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and
tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose.


'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.'


That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my fault.


I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming.


By the way, what kind of animal are you?'


'Well, I really don't know,' said the bunny. 'I'm blind, and I've never seen myself.


Maybe you could examine me and find out.'


So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, 'Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose.

You must be a bunny rabbit!'


The bunny said, 'I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?'


The snake replied that he didn't know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, 'Well, what kind of an animal am I?'


The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, 'You're cold, you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls... You must be a POLITICIAN' !!

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5836 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

Solid Gold SuperFan!
Member # 2854

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 07, 2008 18:18      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Hehehehe. This is an oldie too, but Ilove it.

A broker comes in from an emergency meeting with a client. His receptionist buzzes and says "excuse me, but a Mr. Margin is on line 2 and he has been calling all morning"

Call me dense, but I don't get it?

--------------------
Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

Posts: 3849 | From: Lancaster, PA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted October 07, 2008 18:50      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Rhonwyyn wrote:
I don't get it

This will explain

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

Solid Gold SuperFan!
Member # 2854

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 08, 2008 19:12      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ohhhh, okay. Now I get it. Thanks for the explanation, GrampySteen!!

--------------------
Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

Posts: 3849 | From: Lancaster, PA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 10, 2008 05:13      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Q) What's the definition of optimism?

A) A banker ironing 5 shirts on the weekend.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10668 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 13, 2008 00:27      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Overheard in a cafe in the bankers end of town...

"This is way worse than a divorce ...I've lost half my net worth and I still have my wife."

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10668 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
DoctorWho

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 392

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted October 14, 2008 14:01      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A teacher, a doctor and an investment banker die and are in heaven. God asks the teacher why he should be let into heaven, and the teacher explains to God that he taught small children how to read and write. God says, "Welcome to heaven, my son."

God then asks the doctor what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. "I saved people's lives by curing their illnesses," the doctor replies. "Welcome to heaven, my son," God says.

God then turns to the investment banker. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that as an investment banker, he helped banks package their subprime mortgages into highly marketable CDOs. "Welcome to heaven, my son," says God, "but you have to leave in two days."

--------------------
Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

Posts: 1694 | From: The TARDIS | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
TMBWITW,PB

Member # 1734

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted October 16, 2008 21:30      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?

A: Start off with a large one.

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
óMiss Piggy

Posts: 4010 | From: my couch | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted October 17, 2008 10:32      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it. They failed and it closed.


Now we are trusting the economy of our country to a pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling booze?

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time  
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2015 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam