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Author Topic: Silence is Golden?
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 06, 2007 11:24      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
An elderly couple was attending church services.

About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, "I just
let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

He replies...
*
*
*
*
*
... " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
stevenback7
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 5114

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 06, 2007 12:27      Profile for stevenback7   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
hehehe nice

more old jokes from old gg - always appreciated.

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Comic Book Guy: There is no emoticon for what i'm feeling.

Posts: 1199 | From: Canada eh? | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 06, 2007 13:45      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Garlic Guy_________________________


A Detroit Tigers scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play baseball and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to the states. Two weeks later the Tigers are in a close game with the Indians. The manager gives the young Iraqi reliever the nod and on he goes.





The kid is a sensation, he strikes out everyone he faces for the rest of the game and wins it for the Tigers! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media loves the new star.





When the player comes off the field he phones his mom to tell her about his first day in the Majors.





"Hello mum, guess what?" he says in an Iraqi accent. "I played for three innings today, I was called from the bullpen with the bases loaded but I struck out everyone I faced , and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."





"Wonderful," says his mom, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such a great time."





The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry." "Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mom, "It's your damn fault we moved to Detroit in the first place!"

_________________________________________________


Subject: FW: TENJOOBERRYMUDS


YOU WORLD TRAVELERS OR JUST THE GUESTS AT THE HOLIDAY INN IN CLEVELAND WILL APPRECIATE THIS.


By the time you read through this, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND "TENJOOBERRYMUDS"...

In order to continue getting-by in America(our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term " TENJOOBERRYMUDS"

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange and you are a hotel guest and you're calling Room-Service somewhere in the good old U S A today......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... don't think so."

RoomService: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes'means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin webodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!!; I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."

RoomService: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

RoomService: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' ".....and you do don't you!

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 06, 2007 13:56      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So Mo:

I'm thinkin' both the Mother and the Hotel customers need new batteries. Is that it?

[Big Grin]

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 06, 2007 16:48      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
garlicguy _________________ At least GrandMa.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
DoctorWho

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 392

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 06, 2007 17:31      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I could understand the whole thing quite easily because I know people who actually talk like that MoMan. Some of them are distant relatives. [ohwell]

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Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

Posts: 1694 | From: The TARDIS | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged


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