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Author Topic: Terrorism alert status.......
Grummash

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Icon 12 posted July 25, 2007 12:55      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I thought it might be helpful to share this security bulletin with the good people of GC......

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.


It's good to know that everyone is keeping up with Dubya in his efforts to defeat "turrrism".

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Sxeptomaniac

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Icon 1 posted July 25, 2007 13:21      Profile for Sxeptomaniac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That is hilarious. I think I nearly ruptured something trying not to laugh out loud here.

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Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C. S. Lewis

Posts: 1590 | From: Fresno, CA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
spungo
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Icon 1 posted July 25, 2007 13:27      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[Big Grin] ... and Canada's new terror level is "pretend to be important on the world military stage".

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Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

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Icon 1 posted July 25, 2007 13:44      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
[Big Grin] ... and Canada's new terror level is "pretend to be important on the world military stage".

With the higher levels being "stand in the USA's shadow" and "send more and more troops until the job is done". [crazy] [Big Grin]

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Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted July 25, 2007 14:32      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Australias alert status has been raised from "&#$* off you %@&$ers" to "stick a %@*& up your &$*%%$ sideways"

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10680 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sxeptomaniac

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Icon 1 posted July 25, 2007 16:10      Profile for Sxeptomaniac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Stereo:
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
[Big Grin] ... and Canada's new terror level is "pretend to be important on the world military stage".

With the higher levels being "stand in the USA's shadow" and "send more and more troops until the job is done". [crazy] [Big Grin]
I didn't think Canada needed terror alerts. You guys are "the world's gay friend," after all (from one of the few episodes of The Daily Show I've gotten to see). [Big Grin]

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Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C. S. Lewis

Posts: 1590 | From: Fresno, CA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
Colonel Panic
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Icon 1 posted July 26, 2007 22:04      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think with the Canadians, the alert status is, "What? They cancelled hockey for another season, eh?"

The next level of alert is, "Sure, we got enough beer for the weekend?"

With the highest level being, "Can't we give them Quebec?"

Colonel Panic

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Free! Free at last!

Posts: 1809 | From: Glacier Melt, USA | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

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Icon 12 posted July 27, 2007 06:13      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Colonel Panic:
With the highest level being, "Can't we give them Quebec?"

Well, last time Quebec tried to go on its own, other Canadians insisted that they love it, and that it must stay within the confederation, so I doubth they'd want to give it away.

I think you just misread it; it's "should we send in the French-speaking soldiers?", which is really the same as "send more and more troops until the job is done". [crazy] [Wink]

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Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged


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