homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » News, Reviews, Views!   » The Joke Bank!   » FW: When insults had class...

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: FW: When insults had class...
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

Member Rated:
5
Icon 12 posted January 04, 2007 12:03      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilder

Posts: 8111 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 748

Member Rated:
5
Icon 12 posted January 04, 2007 12:26      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Seems I still have much improvement to do before I can reach their level! [Big Grin]

--------------------
Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Grummash

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 4289

Icon 1 posted January 04, 2007 13:39      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sir Thomas Beecham auditioning an young, nervous, female cellist:

"Madam, between your legs you have the finest instrument ever devised for giving pleasure to man - and all you can do is scratch it!" [blush]

--------------------
...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Serenak

Member # 2950

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted January 04, 2007 13:44      Profile for Serenak     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Winston Churchill on an Admiralty Report...
"Round objects" inferring "balls"

Reply from higher up
"Who is Round, and to what does he object..."

oh yes and 100 jokes...
http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm

--------------------
"So if you want my address - it's No. 1 at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing my scars..."

Posts: 1937 | From: Suffolk England | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Grummash

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 4289

Icon 1 posted January 04, 2007 13:51      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Lady Astor (IIRC): "Winston, you're drunk!"

Winston Churchill: "Madam, you're ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober."

--------------------
...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
HalfVast

Member # 3187

Icon 1 posted January 04, 2007 17:13      Profile for HalfVast     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Continuing:

Lady Astor: "If you were my husband I would poison your tea."

Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it!"

Posts: 795 | From: In the mitten around the abductor pollicis brevis. | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
Tominfla
Geek
Member # 6767

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 04, 2007 23:35      Profile for Tominfla     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (What does that add up to?)

I especially like the ones with Winston Churchill. [Applause]

Tominfla aka "Tamiflu" (BA said it first!) [Big Grin]

--------------------
"Go get that Earth creature and bring back the Uranium Pew36 Space Modulator" -- Marvin Martian

Posts: 245 | From: Orlando, Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2071

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted January 05, 2007 03:05      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Crusty old judge after a lengthy cross examination: "All this leaves me none the wiser"

F. E. Smith "Possibly not M' Lud, but doubtless better informed."

--------------------
"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
The-Tech
Geek
Member # 2506

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 05, 2007 07:40      Profile for The-Tech     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Another one from Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot. Suppose you were a Member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Dave

--------------------
God not only plays dice with the universe,
he sometimes throws them where they cannot be seen
--- Stephen Hawking

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject -- Winston Churchill

Posts: 128 | From: Third Stone from the Sun | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Tominfla
Geek
Member # 6767

Member Rated:
5
Icon 10 posted January 06, 2007 23:35      Profile for Tominfla     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Have you heard this one? It's from John Adams, member of the Continental Congress and second president of the US:

"I believe that one man is a disgrace, that two become a law firm, and that three become a Congress." [Applause]

--------------------
"Go get that Earth creature and bring back the Uranium Pew36 Space Modulator" -- Marvin Martian

Posts: 245 | From: Orlando, Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
never_ask_why333
Geek
Member # 6340

Icon 1 posted January 07, 2007 04:54      Profile for never_ask_why333     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I love them!

I think my favorites were the two between Hemmingway and Faulkner [Big Grin]

--------------------
I haven't forgotten
and I won't forget
I just haven't gotten
around to it yet

You can call me Eternity :)

Posts: 155 | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted January 13, 2007 13:20      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Doug Anthony (leader of the Country Party): Well I'm a country member...

Gough Whitlam (leader of the Labor Party): Yes, I remember !

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10680 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time  
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

2015 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam