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Author Topic: A proper burial
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted December 12, 2006 18:52      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A young minister was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave - side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held in cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As he was not familiar with the backwoods area, he got lost and being like some of the rest of us did not stop and ask for directions.

He finally arrived an hour late. He saw the back hoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

He apologized to the workers for his tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where he saw the vault lid already in place. He assured the workers that he wouldn't hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. And the preacher began.

As he preached, some of the workers began to say "Amen", "Praise the Lord", "Glory", and "Alleluia". Well, it kind of got him going and sort of got wound up and he preached like he'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations. He closed the lengthy service with a prayer, closed his bible and walked to his car.

As he was opening the door and taking off his coat, he overheard one of the workers saying to another," I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for twenty years."

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 12, 2006 20:05      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Just what is it with swimming holes and you fundamentalist Baptist types from Tennessee, Steen?

*Listens to the strains of "Dueling Banjos" in the background*

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted December 12, 2006 20:18      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I see you've misinterpreted my behavior. If you see me holding someone's head under water, it's not a baptism and they're not being saved. [evil]

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 12, 2006 20:25      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oooooh! Sorry, my mistake. [blush]

What if it were a cell-phone instead of a person. Would that be a baptism?

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted December 12, 2006 20:35      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
No, that would be an indication that I finally snapped after the past eight months of being on call 24/7. ~$15k/year bonus just for carrying a cell phone around so that the company can bug me, though... [Big Grin]

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged


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