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Author Topic: Go Bears!
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 06, 2006 12:17      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A Packer fan, a Viking fan and a Bear fan were all in
Saudi Arabia , sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All
of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested
them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe
offense in Saudi Arabia , so for the terrible crime of
actually being caught consuming the booze, they were
sentenced to death! However, with the help of very
good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal
their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi National holiday
on the day their trial finished, and the extremely
benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after
receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they
were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly
said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she
has asked me to allow each of you one wish before
your whipping.

The Viking fan was first in line (he had drunk the
least), so he thought about this for a while and then
said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done,
but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip
went through. The Viking fan had to be carried away
bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was
done.

The Packer fan was next up (he almost finished an
entire fifth by himself), and after watching the
scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my
back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes
before the whip went through again, sending the Packer
fan out crying like a little girl.

The Bear fan was the last one up (he had finished off
the crate), but before he could say anything, the
Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team
in the world, your team has some of the best and most
loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may
have the two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Bear fan
replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first
wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful
man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an
admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you
desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is
it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Packer fan to my back."

--------------------
I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
never_ask_why333
Geek
Member # 6340

Icon 1 posted December 06, 2006 15:52      Profile for never_ask_why333     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I love it.

Too bad I'm a packer fan though [Razz]

--------------------
I haven't forgotten
and I won't forget
I just haven't gotten
around to it yet

You can call me Eternity :)

Posts: 155 | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
SpazGirl
Assimilated
Member # 4915

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 07, 2006 08:45      Profile for SpazGirl   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
See! We Bears fans may drink, but we can think through the alcohol induced haze that follows! [Razz]

--------------------
Things, and things.

Posts: 465 | From: Ypsilanti, MI | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Mel
Alpha Geek
Member # 3553

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 07, 2006 19:02      Profile for Mel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Da BEARS!!

 -

Posts: 309 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted December 07, 2006 22:30      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Too bad I'm a packer fan though [Razz] [/QB]
That phrase has a very different meaning where I'm from. Just sayin'

.....not that there is anything wrong with that.

--------------------
(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Spiderman

Solid Nitrozanium Superfan!
Member # 1609

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 08, 2006 06:28      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
There are a few Packer fans I know that deserve such a fate. [Wink]

See, I'm from Chicago, so the Bears == my home team. It pisses me off when other Chicagoans root for the Packers...I mean, seriously, have some loyalty people!

Go Bears! [Big Grin]

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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

Posts: 846 | From: Chicago | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
never_ask_why333
Geek
Member # 6340

Icon 1 posted December 08, 2006 20:41      Profile for never_ask_why333     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Too bad I'm a packer fan though [Razz]

That phrase has a very different meaning where I'm from. Just sayin'

.....not that there is anything wrong with that. [/QB]

What does it mean where you're from? Or is it one of those things that I don't want to know?

--------------------
I haven't forgotten
and I won't forget
I just haven't gotten
around to it yet

You can call me Eternity :)

Posts: 155 | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
SpazGirl
Assimilated
Member # 4915

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 08, 2006 21:05      Profile for SpazGirl   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Spidey, aren't you so ready to go and break Grossman's arm though? How many interceptions has the man thrown this season????

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Things, and things.

Posts: 465 | From: Ypsilanti, MI | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted December 08, 2006 22:05      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by never_ask_why333:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Too bad I'm a packer fan though [Razz]

That phrase has a very different meaning where I'm from. Just sayin'

.....not that there is anything wrong with that.

What does it mean where you're from? Or is it one of those things that I don't want to know? [/QB]
Allow me to illustrate, grasshopper.

A straight couple, a lesbian couple and a gay couple are all checked into the same hotel. Which couple checks out first?

The gay couple, because he had their shit packed the night before.

/try the veal, tip your waitstaff, I'll be here all week

--------------------
(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
GMx

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1523

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 09, 2006 08:11      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OMG Cap! I'm sure glad you're back. That one made my day. [Big Grin]
Posts: 5848 | From: S-4, Area 51 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 17, 2007 10:28      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
As a life-long Bear fan, it is hard for me to believe that they're still in the chase this year.

Every time Rex takes the field, I shudder...

And now we face the New Orleans Saints. Is there a team anywhere that has faced more hardship, overcome more obstacles or shown more heart this year than the Saints? You have to admire their spirit.

Never-the-less: GO BEARS!

(Fan= abbreviation for fanatic. 'nuf said.)

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Colonel Panic
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1200

Icon 1 posted January 17, 2007 15:57      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Jesus is walking down to the Sea of Galilee and comes across a man who is bloodied, beaten and sobbing.

Jesus asks the man what had happened to him.

The man replies, "Jesus, I have been beaten by theives, had both my legs broken and all my money stolen. I weep because in my sad condition I can no longer support my family.

Jesus tells the man his legs are no longer broken, he can workeagain and go home to support his family.

"This is a miracle! Praise Jesus!" the man declares and returns home.

Jesus proceeds with his journey and shortly thereafter comes across a man with horrible lesions who is sobbing deeply.

"Man why do you weep?" Jesus asks.

"I weep because I am a leper and I have been thrown from my village and I will never again be able to see my family."

Jesus lays his hands on the man. The lesions disappear. And Jesus declares, "You are healed man. Rejoice. Go home and be with your family!"

"This is a miracle! Praise Jesus!" the man declares and returns home.

Jesus returns to his journey and after a short period of time comes across another man, wearing a light blue football jersey with the number 20 in large letters and sobbing deeply.

"Man why do you weep?" Jesus asks.

"I weep because I am a Detroit Lions fan, Matt Millen is still General Manager, my Lions will once again have to play the Chicago Bears twice next season and there is no hope in sight."

And upon hearing the news, Jesus sat down next to the man, and joined the man in sobbing.

***Sigh***

Sis and her old man are season ticket holders with Club Seating at Solider Field. No call yet to this weekend's game.

And considering the joke above -- the game is with the -- ahem -- Saints.

Colonel Panic

--------------------
Free! Free at last!

Posts: 1809 | From: Glacier Melt, USA | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sxeptomaniac

Member # 3698

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted January 17, 2007 16:39      Profile for Sxeptomaniac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, CP, I root for the other team that fired Steve Mariucci, so you have my sympathy there.

At least I've been able to take solace in tormenting some of the Raiders fans I know. It's been a good year for that. [evil]

--------------------
Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C. S. Lewis

Posts: 1590 | From: Fresno, CA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
DoctorWho

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 392

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 18, 2007 14:43      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well CP, normally I would not disagree with you about the outcome of a football game concerning the Saints. However, considering this is their best season yet, I am sure that this will be a game to remember.

/Not really a football fan.
//If the Saints win I will be floored.
///If the Saints win the Superbowl I will by a T-shirt that will say "Hell finally froze over"

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Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

Posts: 1694 | From: The TARDIS | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
SpazGirl
Assimilated
Member # 4915

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 18, 2007 17:23      Profile for SpazGirl   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
/me launches into the patented Chris Farley "Da Bears" dance

This year, a certain team, from a certain town, that starts with a C, ends with an O, and in the middle is a "Hicag", will be hoisting a certain trophy, and that team is... Da Bears!

--------------------
Things, and things.

Posts: 465 | From: Ypsilanti, MI | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 19, 2007 07:15      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
We Chicago Bear fans amuse ourselves by scaring every Green Bay fan we see strutting down the street with that obnoxious green & gold "G" on his shirt.

We swerve our cars as if to hit them, and then swerve back just missing them.

One day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going Father?"

"I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the
road," replied the priest.

"Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!"

The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the road. Suddenly, I saw a Green Bay fan walking down the road, with that "G" shirt on and I instinctively swerved as if to hit him but, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was certain that I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from, I glanced in my mirrors but still didn't see anything. I then remembered the priest, and turned to the priest and said, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Green Bay fan."

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."

GO BEARS!

--------------------
I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
SpazGirl
Assimilated
Member # 4915

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 19, 2007 07:51      Profile for SpazGirl   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm sending that to my mom later today, she'll love that one!

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Things, and things.

Posts: 465 | From: Ypsilanti, MI | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged
Tominfla
Geek
Member # 6767

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted January 20, 2007 01:36      Profile for Tominfla     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You guys are just nuts! [crazy] [crazy] [crazy]

All my relatives live in Minnesota, so they're all Viking fans.

Down here in Fla we have three teams, none of which are Super Bowl contenders this year. [Razz]

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"Go get that Earth creature and bring back the Uranium Pew36 Space Modulator" -- Marvin Martian

Posts: 245 | From: Orlando, Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged


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