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Author Topic: Understanding Engineers
Ugh, MightyClub
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Icon 1 posted August 08, 2006 10:26      Profile for Ugh, MightyClub     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This was originally given to me as an English translation from Spanish. I tried to clean up the grammar a bit, but I didn't spend a lot of time on it.

1. An engineer isn't the most powerful and superior; he's surrounded by useless people.

2. An engineer doesn't have a huge ego; the room she is in is too small.

3. Engineers don't want to always be right; others are always making mistakes.

4. An engineer doesn't lack feelings and emotions; others are weeping babies.

5. An engineer doesn't have a disorganized life; he just lives life in a "particular" way.

6. An engineer doesn't watch the world; she changes it.

7. Engineers aren't weird; simple mortals do not understand them.

8. An engineer is not a calculating and cold blooded being; he is amused by how common people behave.

9. An engineer doesn't make things difficult; the end users never understand anything.

10. An engineer is not judgmental; the errors that people make are too evident.

11. An engineer is not useless at ordinary domestic tasks; they don't waste their valuable energy on stupid things. Plus the clothes used to clean are very complex and they're not configurable.

12. It's not that engineers are absorbed by their jobs; it's that....................... ............What was I talking about???

13. An engineer doesn't make any errors; she's just making sure others are paying attention.

14. Engineers don't "Think" they are the bomb; they ARE the bomb!

But remember, being so near perfection has its problems, so those of you who are not engineers please try to understand these sad souls, tortured between their genious and lack of understanding.

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Ugh!

Posts: 1742 | From: Ithaca, NY | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Metasquares
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Icon 1 posted August 08, 2006 13:41      Profile for Metasquares   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ugh, MightyClub:

14. Engineers don't "Think" they are the bomb; they ARE the bomb!

A "good day" for an engineer means not being responsible for something blowing up or collapsing.
Posts: 664 | From: Morganville, NJ | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted August 08, 2006 14:17      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Metasquares:
quote:
Originally posted by Ugh, MightyClub:

14. Engineers don't "Think" they are the bomb; they ARE the bomb!

A "good day" for an engineer means not being responsible for something blowing up or collapsing.
Depends on the engineer.
Aeronautical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10680 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted August 08, 2006 14:45      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*sighes like an engineer* [Wink]

[Sorry, I'm in a sh*tty mood - on a normal day, I'd self-deprecate myself to the point of being below the rug.]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Zwilnik

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Icon 1 posted August 27, 2006 17:06      Profile for Zwilnik   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
There's also the explanation of the difference between scientists and engineers.

Tell some scientists that they will be placed in a room lined up along a wall, with beautiful women lined up on the opposite wall.
Every minute they are allowed to walk half the distance between them and the women.

Scientists will realise that they will never reach the women and leave.

Engineers however, know they will get close enough for practical purposes and stay.

[Smile]

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The Universe is entirely made up of elements.
The most important of which is the element of surprise.

Posts: 1040 | From: West Sussex, UK | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted August 27, 2006 17:17            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Beautiful women and/or smart women? ;-)
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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted August 27, 2006 17:34      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration, which is why so many engineers smell the way they do.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Tech Angel
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Icon 1 posted August 28, 2006 00:35      Profile for Tech Angel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Zwilnik:
There's also the explanation of the difference between scientists and engineers.

Tell some scientists that they will be placed in a room lined up along a wall, with beautiful women lined up on the opposite wall.
Every minute they are allowed to walk half the distance between them and the women.

Scientists will realise that they will never reach the women and leave.

Engineers however, know they will get close enough for practical purposes and stay.
[Smile]

And so the underlying assumption would be... that all Scientists are male? Hmm-m...how quaint and parochial! [Roll Eyes] A joke from the 18th century, no doubt! [Wink]

As a woman engineer (and a licensed one) who's still pretty damned attractive, which side of the room should I stand on? Or maybe I just start with the scientists and engineers but work my way laterally across the room until I find one who meets or exceeds my specs.

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We must be the change we want to see in the world. -Mahatma Ghandi

Posts: 330 | From: the Great State of Confusion | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tech Angel
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Icon 1 posted August 28, 2006 00:40      Profile for Tech Angel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
An engineer sees the glass as neither half full nor half empty -- it's simply twice as big as it needs to be.

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We must be the change we want to see in the world. -Mahatma Ghandi

Posts: 330 | From: the Great State of Confusion | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Greetings From Italy
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Icon 1 posted August 28, 2006 03:01      Profile for Greetings From Italy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration, which is why so many engineers smell the way they do.

Funny Quotes ?? [Wink]
Posts: 7 | From: "Location" is "Rental" (Fr. to En.) | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

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Icon 10 posted August 28, 2006 07:36      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Tech Angel wrote:
As a woman engineer (and a licensed one) who's still pretty damned attractive, which side of the room should I stand on?

Whichever side I'm on, unless you had bean burritos for lunch.

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

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Zwilnik

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Icon 1 posted September 13, 2006 16:18      Profile for Zwilnik   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Tech Angel:
quote:
Originally posted by Zwilnik:
There's also the explanation of the difference between scientists and engineers.

Tell some scientists that they will be placed in a room lined up along a wall, with beautiful women lined up on the opposite wall.
Every minute they are allowed to walk half the distance between them and the women.

Scientists will realise that they will never reach the women and leave.

Engineers however, know they will get close enough for practical purposes and stay.
[Smile]

And so the underlying assumption would be... that all Scientists are male? Hmm-m...how quaint and parochial! [Roll Eyes] A joke from the 18th century, no doubt! [Wink]

As a woman engineer (and a licensed one) who's still pretty damned attractive, which side of the room should I stand on? Or maybe I just start with the scientists and engineers but work my way laterally across the room until I find one who meets or exceeds my specs.

Are you prejudiced against lesbian women engineers or something? [Wink]

--------------------
The Universe is entirely made up of elements.
The most important of which is the element of surprise.

Posts: 1040 | From: West Sussex, UK | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
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Icon 1 posted September 13, 2006 20:44            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
No, just lesbian men engineers.
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