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Author Topic: Europe!
Grummash

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 4289

Icon 1 posted December 02, 2005 13:43      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k." This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one fewer letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" w! ill be replaced with "f."

This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v."

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Frost
Geek
Member # 1267

Member Rated:
5
Icon 10 posted December 05, 2005 04:22      Profile for Frost     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
LOL [Big Grin]

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Success requires no explanations, Failure permits no alibis.

Posts: 217 | From: USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged


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