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» The Geek Culture Forums   » News, Reviews, Views!   » The Joke Bank!   » just a quick one for now! (Page 2)

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Author Topic: just a quick one for now!
garlicguy

Member # 3166

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted February 18, 2005 13:47      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The sign in the bar read: Make the sad horse tied-up in back laugh to win all the money in this jar. It was propped up against a huge glass vessel containing over a thousand silver dollars.

In walks the dusty worn out cowboy. He orders a cold beer, looks at the sign and asks the bartender for details. He is told he must put a silver dollar into the jar, and then the bartender will accompany him to observe the horse's reaction to whatever antics he might employ.

The old cowboy shrugs, nonchalantly pitches his silver dollar into the jar and saunters through the back door, followed by the bemused bartender and several patrons. They are expecting to see the usual clowning around, but are surprised to witness the cowboy lean close to the horse's ear and whisper something. They are even more shocked when the horse, normally a morose creature, falls laughing to his knees, rolls on his back and guffaws hysterically as they all troop back into the bar. The bartender gives the cowboy the money, who then finishes his beer and leaves.

A few months later, the cowboy enters this same bar, only to find a new sign propped against the same jar (equally filled as before). The new sign says: Make the horse out back stop laughing and win the money in this jar.

The bartender recognizes the cowboy, who is already making his move to put a silver dollar in the jar. The cowboy says, "This time I'm going out there by myself, and when I lead that horse in here, he won't be laughing." The bartender agrees to this slight modification in the rules.

Three minutes later, the cowboy leads the weeping, inconsolable horse into the barroom and demands his money. The bartender says: "Before I pay you, you're going to have to tell us how you did it."

The cowboy looks at the horse, then at the money then at the bartender and says: "When I was here the first time, I simply told the horse I was hung better than he was...."

"Today I showed him."

Whew...boy
[shake head]

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted February 18, 2005 14:09      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A section of road walks into a bar, and announced "I'm the meanest m***-f***ing stretch of road in the world, and I can give any other road a beating", then buys a drink.

A few minutes later, a section of 2-lane highway arrives, and the bit of road announces "I'm the meanest m***-f***ing stretch of road in the world, and I can give any other road a beating", the 2-lane highway looks at him, and meekly goes over into the corner to have his drink.

A few minutes later, a section of 5-lane freeway comes in, again the stretch of road announces "I'm the meanest m***-f***ing stretch of road in the world, and I can give any other road a beating", the 5-lane highway looks at him, and meekly goes over into the corner to have his drink.

A few minutes later, a tiny section of bitumen only a metre or so wide comes in, the section of road looks at him, and meekly goes over into the corner to join the highway and the freeway for a quiet drink.

The barman goes over and asks the section of road why he didn't challenge the newcomer...

"Are you kidding? He's a cycle-path"

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10669 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
HalfVast

Member # 3187

Icon 1 posted February 18, 2005 16:50      Profile for HalfVast     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The Bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve bears beer in this bar." The bear says, "If you don't give me a beer I'll eat that guy over in the corner." The bartener refused and the bear went over to the corner, consumed the hapless patron and returned to the bar. "Well?", said the bear. "Sorry we don't serve bears beer in this bar." The bear said, "If you don't give me a beer I'll eat that guy over at the end of the bar." The bartender shrugged and the bear proceeded with his feast. "Now this time," quoth the bear, "Gimme a beer or I'll eat the woman at that table." "As I have explained to you already," continued the bartender, "we don't serve bears beer in this bar." So the bear went to the table and ate the lady sitting there. The bear returned to the bar. "Now will you give me a beer?" The bartender said, "Sorry we don't serve druggies beer in this bar." This suprised the bear. "Druggie, what makes you think I'm a druggie?" The bartender replied. "Well that was a bar-bitch-you-ate."
Posts: 795 | From: In the mitten around the abductor pollicis brevis. | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged


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