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Author Topic: FW: Virus Definitions
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

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Icon 12 posted October 19, 2004 08:55      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep pointlessly looking for viruses of mass destruction, then when it doesn't find them, uses all your resources to erase your harddrive anyway.

The John Kerry Virus - Reverses every position in your computer, each time you turn it on.

Poster's note: (that sounds too sexy fo me)


The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.


The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.


The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.


The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.


The Michael Jackson Virus - Attacks only minor files.


The ArnoldSchwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves... but will be back!


The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.


The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.


The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.


The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.


The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

Posts: 8100 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2814

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Icon 1 posted October 19, 2004 11:44      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Snaggy:
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep pointlessly looking for viruses of mass destruction, then when it doesn't find them, uses all your resources to erase your harddrive anyway.

I'm moderately sure this virus won't know what the fsck to do with your computer unless the Dick Cheney virus is present aswell.
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
R0x0r_G0dd3ss
Geek-in-Training
Member # 3041

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Icon 1 posted November 16, 2004 19:17      Profile for R0x0r_G0dd3ss     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Zing.

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Ph33r my l337 n3kk1d skillz!!!

Posts: 36 | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged
magefile
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted November 16, 2004 21:12      Profile for magefile     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What about the JFK virus? It modifies every email you send by adding superfluous articles.

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Let them be stupid - the market will sort it out.

Posts: 743 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2814

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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2004 04:48      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
And then the CIA removes it and blames its removal on another antivirus program.
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged


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