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Author Topic: FW: 40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted August 24, 2004 19:23      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh .. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh, I get it...like humor...but different.

Posts: 8111 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
TMBWITW,PB

Member # 1734

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted August 24, 2004 19:32      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Snaggy:
40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

40. Oh, I get it...like humor...but different.

Priceless. [Big Grin] I've got to use #1 some day, [thumbsup]

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
óMiss Piggy

Posts: 4010 | From: my couch | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted August 24, 2004 20:24      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
<true-story>
(To PHB who's ranting at the team for a stuff up that was a direct result of his own bad decision)

"I haven't seen a tanty like that since I told my 3 year old she couldn't have ice-cream for breakfast".
</true-story>

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10680 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted August 24, 2004 20:46      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have said too many things like that at work to my superiors of all things. I have learned to keep my mouth shut more often.

My favorite thing to do is when I am asked a stupid question. Say "no" and walk away from them.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2465 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
dunjamon
Mini Geek
Member # 2701

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted August 25, 2004 06:15      Profile for dunjamon   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I was sacked from a previous job for the remark "Here I am, taking orders from a 40 year old who wears a name tag to work". That was the end of my Asda Wal-Mart career"

I do like #6 and #18 though.

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Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973 but your average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever.

Posts: 77 | From: Manchester England | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2814

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted August 25, 2004 06:23      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
#23 is the best by far.

I've never used any of these, but some of them are certainly tempting. [Big Grin]

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Aves Corax
Mini Geek
Member # 2533

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted August 25, 2004 15:27      Profile for Aves Corax     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
#22. Definately.

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"Be ye not lost among precepts of order."
The Principia Discordia

Posts: 65 | From: Virginia, USA | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
MacGenius
Alpha Geek
Member # 1333

Member Rated:
2
Icon 14 posted August 26, 2004 07:36      Profile for MacGenius   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
#25
Posts: 264 | From: Mars | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged


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