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Author Topic: French jokes....
snupy
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Icon 1 posted April 18, 2004 14:59      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OOps-sorry. Didn't even look at the heading and realize it was a conservative site. We can't have that.(Have you recovered, spungo?)

Seems offensive also, so I have deleted it.

How come whenever I'm in the UK, people complain about the Welsh and the French, then??

Posts: 4269 | From: UK, via Chicago | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
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Icon 13 posted April 18, 2004 18:34      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well here is one Brit who absolutely does not. The French were the only ones with enough guts to tell the US the truth before the Iraq war, and I find the bile heaped on them for it by the Right, particularly in the form of these particularly unfunny jokes that parody them as a nation of cowards quite sickening. How come racist jokes are acceptable if they are about the French?

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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

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Too Cool To Quit
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Icon 1 posted April 18, 2004 18:40      Profile for Too Cool To Quit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What I don't get... is that CBS and other liberal media elite stations were actually sticking UP for BUSH! Now they are putting him down.. That's kind of like saying "France, you suck! Wait, no, I was just kidding"

Edit: Just wanted to add a note, that I am infact a liberal, but the fact that they are media elites is what I'm alluding too... Hanywank

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Alright now, that's the last straw, I'm calling the ass taxidermist to tell him to stop making hats in your size RIGHT NOW.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 18, 2004 20:08      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Callipygous:
Well here is one Brit who absolutely does not. The French were the only ones with enough guts to tell the US the truth before the Iraq war, and I find the bile heaped on them for it by the Right, particularly in the form of these particularly unfunny jokes that parody them as a nation of cowards quite sickening. How come racist jokes are acceptable if they are about the French?

Quite agree, if there's any cowards in this story its the government leaders who sent their young men and women off to war because GWB told them to.

The aussie PM recently vigorously denied claims that our relationship with the USA is one of "fawning compliance".

The next day, our Foreign Minister issued a statement saying our troops would stay in Iraq until the USA told us we were allowed to bring them home.

/me crawls off to find somewhere quiet to die of shame.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted April 18, 2004 21:25      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Callipygous:
Well here is one Brit who absolutely does not. The French were the only ones with enough guts to tell the US the truth before the Iraq war

....um.....hello?? Don't forget Canada (again)

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 18, 2004 23:29      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
um.....hello?? Don't forget Canada (again)

Forget who ?

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Slurpy
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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2004 02:07      Profile for Slurpy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Callipygous:
How come racist jokes are acceptable if they are about the French?

You have to look at the big picture. Jokes are funny no matter who they're about, be it French, British, American, whites, blacks, Native Americans, dead babies, or Yoko Ono.

I bet you know some funny Irish jokes, and I know you've got GW and TB jokes. . .

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2004 03:57      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I can't believe you just made me click a Conservative website. [Eek!] [Wink] That's worse than pr0n.

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
-ct-
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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2004 09:30      Profile for -ct-   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Slurpy:
quote:
Originally posted by Callipygous:
How come racist jokes are acceptable if they are about the French?

You have to look at the big picture. Jokes are funny no matter who they're about, be it French, British, American, whites, blacks, Native Americans, dead babies, or Yoko Ono.

I bet you know some funny Irish jokes, and I know you've got GW and TB jokes. . .

q- why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

a- it was dead

q- why did the 2nd moneky fall out of the tree?

a- it was dead too

q- why did the 3rd moneky fall out of the tree?

a- it was stapled to the 2nd monkey

q- why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree?

a- it was duct-taped to the dead baby

q- why did the the rest of the monkeys fall out of the tree?

a- the elephant fell off the top branch

ok, so it was funnier last night...

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2004 11:23      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
I can't believe you just made me click a Conservative website. [Eek!] [Wink] That's worse than pr0n.

Q) How many Conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A) Change? What do you mean, 'Change'? That's a perfectly good lightbulb. That lightbulb got my father through The Blitz. It's lightbulbs like that that made England great. What are you, some kind of lightbulb-phobic socialist? The Conservative Party has always been the defender of the great English lightbulb............


(and yes, the use of 'England' rather than 'Britain' was deliberate)

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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sconzey
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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2004 12:19      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Speaking of politics, have you people seen http://www.politicalcompass.org ?

Interesting site, in short they believe that the old idea of left/right is not good enough for todays politics, and they split it into two, economics (communist|capitalist) and issues (liberalist|authoritarian)

They provide a test which attempts to map you onto such a graph, they also provide mappings of the various US and UK political parties.

Very interesting. I came out as a complete socialist! [Embarrassed] My views on issues were 50/50... [Razz]

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"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."
--Isaac Asimov

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MTB Babe
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Icon 12 posted April 19, 2004 12:25      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Although the French people I have spoken to would prefer a monkey in the white house rather than Bush, most of them if given the chance would vote for Nader.
I guess I can't blame them the democrats are a silly bunch as well. I'd prefer a monkey.

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Callipygous
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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2004 14:28      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Slurpy:
You have to look at the big picture. Jokes are funny no matter who they're about, be it French, British, American, whites, blacks, Native Americans, dead babies, or Yoko Ono.

I bet you know some funny Irish jokes, and I know you've got GW and TB jokes. . .

If they are funny. Long before they became politically incorrect, I found that nearly all xenophobic or mysogenistic jokes do not tickle my funnybone at all, and as well as being morally questionable and they are mostly stupid and just plain sad.

So to answer your question I cannot at the moment recall any funny Irish jokes and have heard far too many that are not.

There, what a prim po faced little twat I am!

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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

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Stereo

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Icon 12 posted April 19, 2004 14:30      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sconzey - I took the test for fun. The closest one to my position on the chart is the Dalai Lama. Don't expect me to scour the world dressed up in an orange blanket, though...

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Eppur, si muove!

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unclefungus
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Icon 6 posted April 19, 2004 15:21      Profile for unclefungus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm sure you've all heard the one about french rifle? Never been used dropped only once.
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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2004 15:47      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Callipygous:
question I cannot at the moment recall any funny Irish jokes and have heard far too many that are not.

How about this true irish story.....

While living in London, we decided to nip over to Ireland for a holiday. We checked with our bank, and found out which bank machines we could use. On arrival in Dublin, we went to the appropriate machine at the airport to withdraw some local cash, the instructions on the screen were ...

Please enter the amount you wish to withdraw, in multiples of 10.
For example, to withdraw 15 .....


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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Frost
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Icon 2 posted April 19, 2004 22:23      Profile for Frost     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My uncle was a lawyer for 20 odd years and I once asked him if he was bothered by the fact that there were so many derogatory jokes about lawyers. He said no, what bothered him was that there was so much truth to them. [shake head]

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Success requires no explanations, Failure permits no alibis.

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Slurpy
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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2004 00:37      Profile for Slurpy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy!

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Slurpy
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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2004 00:58      Profile for Slurpy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by sconzey:
Speaking of politics, have you people seen http://www.politicalcompass.org ?

Some of the questions were too simplified:

A significant advantage of a one-party state is that it avoids all the arguments that delay progress in a democratic political system.

I strongly agreed with that statement (fascism does cut down on delays; however, I don't feel that a one-party state is a good thing, where I can guarantee you that's what the question did to my score.

Likewise: It's natural for children to keep some secrets from their parents.

I agree that it's natural, but not necessarily a good thing.

And the one that definitely skewed the score:
From each according to his ability, to each according to his need is a fundamentally good idea.

I agree that it is a fundamentally good idea, but certainly not practically.

So, as a result, I've been shown as being very similar to Ghandi and Mandela. [crazy]

And GWB is not extremely right-wing in economic terms (I love how he's in the same place as Margaret Thatcher). This test needs some love (though it is an interesting idea, though not the most original, I remember taking this test on the libertarian website back in HS).

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2004 03:54      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Slurpy:

fascism does cut down on delays

Actually, the practical experience is quite the reverse.
Totalitarian governments punish trouble-makers, whether they be political dissidents, or hospital administrators complaining about not getting enough bandages delivered this month.
Any system that filters out bad news (because bearers of bad news get sent to the Russian Front/Siberian Gulags/Guantanamo) become very adverse to risk, and the safest thing to do is what you're already doing, and act like you love it.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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sconzey
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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2004 10:45      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Who says that one-party states have to be totalitarian?

Big it up for benevolent dictators... AI to rule the world!

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"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."
--Isaac Asimov

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cheezi git
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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2004 22:57      Profile for cheezi git     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Slurpy:


Some of the questions were too simplified

Interesting link about how the questions in a
poll can influence the answers.


quote:
Originally posted by Slurpy:

A significant advantage of a one-party state is that it avoids all the arguments that delay progress in a democratic political system.

I strongly agreed with that statement (fascism does cut down on delays; however, I don't feel that a one-party state is a good thing, where I can guarantee you that's what the question did to my score.

I think that you have a simplified view of totalitarian states. It is the arguments that explore all aspects of an issue, to save time and effort later when it is implemented, and to get the best solution possible by listening to a lot of knowledgeable people.



quote:
Originally posted by Slurpy:

And GWB is not extremely right-wing in economic terms

the problem is that there is no left-wing in the states, so you can't compare george "i wish you hadn't asked me that" bush with anyone remotely socialist in america. compared to most leaders in the rest of the world, gb would come out very right wing economically-wise, and even more to the right on social issues

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there were so many stains on the road. squashed miss mitten-shaped stains in the universe. squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed crows that tried to eat the squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed dogs...

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Slurpy
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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2004 23:45      Profile for Slurpy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by cheezi git:
I think that you have a simplified view of totalitarian states. It is the arguments that explore all aspects of an issue, to save time and effort later when it is implemented, and to get the best solution possible by listening to a lot of knowledgeable people.

I'm not saying that the totalitarian state gives you the best solution possible, I'm just saying that you don't have a lot of political debates or filibustering when the dictator executes anyone that pisses him off [evil] . I think we're working off two different definitions of "progress," also; you seem to be considering social progress, while I was merely referring to temporal progress. . .

quote:
so you can't compare george "i wish you hadn't asked me that" bush with anyone remotely socialist in america.
He sure isn't very good at hiding his "I hate you damned reporters" look, is he?

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 10 posted April 20, 2004 23:48      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by MTB Babe:
Although the French people I have spoken to would prefer a monkey in the white house rather than Bush, most of them if given the chance would vote for Nader.
I guess I can't blame them the democrats are a silly bunch as well. I'd prefer a monkey.

You must be too young to remember this guy:

 -

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2004 23:57      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by MTB Babe:
Although the French people I have spoken to would prefer a monkey in the white house rather than Bush, most of them if given the chance would vote for Nader.
I guess I can't blame them the democrats are a silly bunch as well. I'd prefer a monkey.

You must be too young to remember this guy:

 -

If only they'd given the monkey the job .....

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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