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Author Topic: Fun with words
Mac D
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 2926

Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 15:59      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ok I'm sitting here board out of my goard and thought it would be fun to start a story. The way this works is I start the story and other people continue it.

Once upon a time two friends where out on a walk in the city. They came across ........

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

Posts: 1449 | From: Where I am is very relative to my location at that time. | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 16:06      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
... a very old looking key. It was otherwise an ordinary key, except that there were strange markings along the center, right above the groove. It looked rather like some sort of writing or heiroglyphs. Then, suddenly...
Posts: 218 | From: Georgia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 16:30      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
... they turned it up the other way. The strange glyphs now made sense, it was a simple 3-letter word

"Any"

...

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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spungo
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 16:56      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...but both chaps were dyslexic, and realised that they may well have misread the inscription. After further head-scratching, it was clear that what they had in their possession was no less than the key to Pandora's Box. Now, Pandora was a rather loose chick around town, so the prospect that her under-garments involved any kind of security struck them as somewhat odd. With the key safely pocketed they decided to go to the 'Manic Donkey' to get blind drunk on a few pints of Sister Shagger, and discuss their dilemma at length...

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 17:38      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
They had just downed their second pints, when in walked the dragon-slayer formerly known as Sir Prancelot, who immediately crossed the room to their table, swooped the key into his own pouch using an old and much-flawed magic wand as he said, "K...

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
i_need_a_pillow
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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 17:41      Profile for i_need_a_pillow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
... thxbye" and a three-legged midget from hell walked by and yoinked the pouch from the dragon slayer before he could even blink. The aforementioned midget bowed to the two smashed gentlemen and proceeded to bathe in a tankard full of ale...

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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Posts: 104 | From: I'm here. Where else? | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 18:26      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...and as he bathed, he turned to the onlookers and uttered "Behold, it is I, the ever intoxicated wee-one from Newfoundland, known as hell to those without pillows, and me third leg isn't a leg at all, and alas this inn is now cool simply because of my presence here!". And all those in attendance were speechless. Could it be the one from the frozen wastelands, who is known only from late-night legends told by hooded travelers?
[Wink]

Posts: 218 | From: Georgia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 19:11      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Meanwhile, Sir Prancelot was coming 'round to what senses he had available and quickly noticed something amiss - his bodkin was a tad lighter even than usual. His dismal little wand, used only moments earlier, was now quite glowing and erect as it spun wildy in his hand until pointing at the door which Stumpy, the thieving midget, had just gone out.

As he pranced after the dwarf, he cried, "What the...

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 19:23      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...fsck??!? You have taken the key which unlocks the secrets of the fair gamer/geek grrls affection!!11!"
Now Stumpy, who really preferred to be called by his nickname "Tripod", had quickly hidden right outside the door. Sir Prancelot, with a downtrodden tone, exclaimed "Now I may never initiate contact with the opposite $3x." [shake head]
This delighted Tripod, who loved to cause mischief whenever possible, and he could barely muffle his gleeful giggles. Sir Prancelot, with a stern look on his face, said "I solemnly vow to one day learn perl, and then...

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Ivan
Alpha Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 20:48      Profile for Ivan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
you---" he cut off, as a bowl of petunias fell out of the sky landing directly in front of where he would have been if he had been moving a tad bit faster. He yelped, "Oh.....


(sorry, couldn't resist the DNA)

Posts: 269 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 20:58      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"That's it. I quit. I'm going to change my name to Colin and become a bookkeeper." And Sir Prancelot stormed off in a huff.

"Right," one of the drunkards said, "guess taht means we'll have to get the key and open Pandora's box ourselves."

"Worse things could happen."

"True." And they rose from the table and went after the drunken Newfie midget...

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 05, 2005 23:32      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In the meantime, Tripod was startled to see a pot of flowers materialize in mid air, falling just short of landing on Sir Prancelot's head. "This is getting too weird for me" he said. And with that, he slipped away into the night.

After narrowly avoiding a concussion, Sir Prancelot decided to go back to his sleazy motel room and order some hot wings and watch a bit of pr0n. Halfway down the street, he heard a haunting melody. Drawn to the sound, he slinked along, hoping for a closer look. When he came around a corner, he saw an abandoned storehouse, and the sound seemed to be coming from within.

As he edged up to a low window, he wiped off the grime and looked inside. He was initially taken aback by what he saw. Inside, there were about fifty men, all very muscular and dressed in leather. The sound of techno-remixes reverberated throughout the metallic building. A fog machine spewed forth an entrancing purple haze. Irridescent lightsticks danced in the strange glow of UV light. Sir Prancelot began to feel strangely excited by what he was witnessing. He had never been to a homosexual rave before, and he was enjoying it. Could this be what was missing in his life? He thought about this for a moment, and turned to leave, peeling a flyer from a utility pole for further inspection. He felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders...

Posts: 218 | From: Georgia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 08:28      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...which caused him to recollect the much smaller weight missing from his pouch.

I wonder what that key was for, Anyway?, the not-too-brilliant dragon-slayer thought to himself.

He entered the gay rave and noticed a familiar-looking dwarf who was holding up a smallish object while attempting to read the inscription on it in the flickering lights.

In the corner of the room was a low archway with a solid oak door. Closer inspection revealed a massive lock arrangement preventing entry. Above the archway, an ancient sign read, "P....

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ivan
Alpha Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 09:23      Profile for Ivan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"lease recycle."

Well that's odd, he thought. What's a sign like that doing in a place like this? For that matter, what's my boss doing here? I thought he was at......

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i_need_a_pillow
Geek
Member # 2765

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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 12:31      Profile for i_need_a_pillow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
..an expo about recent developments in abacus technology. Oh well. He turned and started to walk out to avoid his boss when...

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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Posts: 104 | From: I'm here. Where else? | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 12:39      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
a wild commotion broke out across the room from where he was standing. The two tipsy patrons from the 'Manic Donkey' erupted from the swaying throng and ran toward the intoxicated Newfie, one diverting his attention while the other snatched the key from the unsuspecting midget's outstretched hand. They then proceded to run to the archway, insert the key, give it a twist, and wrench open the door which they then disappeared through.

The door started to swing quickly shut behind them,

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 13:04      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
and Sir Prancelot quickly thrust his magickal rod between the door and frame, pushed it back open and entered.

Inside, he found a strange land stretched before him, and the drunkards were already far across the plains in the distance. He turned towards a misty forest and saw a beautiful geek goddess standing in the shadows. He stared at her in awe, and she said, in a sweet voice "I am grey_girl, the one you seek, and I have the secrets for which you have long quested!" "Oh!" "I have seen you in many visions, but I was convinced you did not exist!" said Sir Prancelot. "I know my child, for many do not acknowledge me, yet I am here." "Come, I have much to show you!" said the Goddess.

And so our unlikely hero would know the secrets to gaining the favors of the elusive gamer/geek girl. But now, he had awakened strange new feelings of passion while watching the rave, and he was not sure which team he wanted to play for at this point. Still, he could not deny his curiosity, so he followed the Goddess deep into the forest...

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i_need_a_pillow
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 18:26      Profile for i_need_a_pillow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...where she proceeded to beat him senseless with a squeaky rubber mallet. Once Sir Prancelot had been rendered unconscious, she dragged his body onto the dance floor and left it to be trampled by hordes of...

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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Posts: 104 | From: I'm here. Where else? | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 19:28      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Unngggh!" "What a silly dream!" Grumbled Sir Prancelot as he roused from the bed in his cheap motel room. He looked at the empty absinthe bottle on the nightstand. "Damn you, green fairy!"

As he stumbled off to the shower, he failed to notice the still quite intoxicated dwarf spying on him through the window. After the commotion at the rave, Tripod was attempting to find a way through the strange door when it suddenly opened, and Sir Prancelot's limp body flung out onto the dance floor. He was intrigued by the series of events, and dragged the knight back to his room to keep an eye on him.

As the wee-one sat on the fire escape waiting to see what Sir Prancelot would do next, he heard a rustling on the ladder below. As he looked down, he was surprised to see...

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garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 19:57      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
a ladder rustler, of the one-eyed, giant-fanged variety, busily loosening the very ladder he was perched upon, in order to make off with it. Panic began to rise in Stumpy Tripods' tiny little mind, (which was really more of a murky little backwater collection of reflexes, reactions and yesterday's cheese leftovers presently hampered by a mild alcohol-induced fog), when it occured to him that today was his day off and so nothing so minor as this could bother him. He screeched, "Oh, Piss off!" as loudly as he dared to the interloper below before back-sommersaulting cleanly through the window into the motel room. He headed toward the door, planning to make his exit and enjoy his holiday.

At that very same moment, Sir Colin Prancelot, dragon-slayer, bookkeeper, and cheap, trashy pr0n affecionado that he was, began studying his pathetic and lately-mangled wand whilst showering. Perhaps I shouldn't be using my poor little wand to stop big oaken doors from slamming shut, he mused.

Looking up from his wand, he noticed a shadowy form through the shower curtain, and,

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
i_need_a_pillow
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 04:58      Profile for i_need_a_pillow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
drew his sword so he could more effectively camp the shower. It opened to reveal the one and only one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater. Now, Sir Prancelot couldn't tell whether it was a one-eyed, one-horned flying purple creature that eats people or a one-eyed, one-horned flying creature that eats purple people, so he just stood there, dumbfounded, as he waited for the being to react...

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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Posts: 104 | From: I'm here. Where else? | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 06:23      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Nice. I go to all this trouble to rescue your sorry butt and you draw a sword on me?" The voice was familiar, belonging to Prancelot's childhood friend Oscar, who was now unmasking himself from his costume. "I had to dress-up in this outift to follow you around in that gay rave without being conspicuous, and this is the thanks I get? Buy the way, why do you have your sword *and* your wand in the shower with you? I think you have issues, old buddy."

Prance was so relieved at being confronted by a friend rather than a fiend that he screamed like a little girl, put his toys away, wrapped himself in a nearby towel and strode into the other room muttering to himself, "What would Cap'n Vic do?"

He sat on the bed to collect his wits and his clothing, all of which were scattered willy-nilly about the room. The phone rang. Oscar crossed himself, (a frequent habit as he was devoutly religious and also very silly), and then crossed the room toward the ...

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 06:28      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The drunken newfie midget ran in and slayed it, by smashing it over the head with a bottle of newfie screech.

The tripod looked at Prancelot, and squealed, "you owe me a bottle of screech!"

Prancelot, confused by the newfie's assistance, said "w..."

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 06:54      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
An uncharacteristic and rare blast of inspiration came over Prancelot as he realized he had been hit with a Nubarian Ladder Rustler's thought-jacking wave. These were often used by the rustlers to cover up the screeching racket made when they tore steel ladders from fire escapes. He bounced over to the window and called down, "Hey you amateur thought-jackoff, a, er jacker. Next time make sure your lame attempt fits the story." He shook his head as he worked at getting dressed and immediately remembered the empty absinthe bottle. "Oouch."

Oscar proceeded to answer the still ringing phone. It was Prancelot's mother asking for an update on his recent foray into the big city. She worried that her shy, bumbling boy might not be able to cope with all the multiculturalism taking place there. Oscar, being the good family friend that he was, was only too willing to oblige. "Ask the lame twit for yourself," he offered in response to her query and he handed the phone to the moaning knight-bookkeeper.

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 15:08      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Meanwhile, in the capitol building, Mayor Ron Jeremy was infuriated.

"What do you mean you lost the key!?!", he screamed at his assistant, Beetlejuice (known for his hijinks on the Howard Stern show), as he proceeded to nervously perform fellatio on himself. "It wasn't my fault!" whined Beetlejuice. "Hank, the angry dwarf, was in a drunken rage because he thought his cousin, Tripod, had sex with his wife!" (But she is quite ugly, and crazy to boot, so it never happened) "He just started beating me up, and the key must have fell out of my pocket!".

"I'll have no excuses out of you, you imbecile!!" said the porn king while taking a breath. "I must have that key!" "You WILL find a way to recover it, or else!".

Beetlejuice cowered in fear at this threat, as he well knew the penalty for failure to please the king. "Yes sir, I'll get your key back!" cried the pathetic little man.

Posts: 218 | From: Georgia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged


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