Evangelize my friends and family, ... I'm sure they love that about as much as you love them trying to get you to sell Amway.	110	17%
Defend its products on forums and other places on the Internet, ... one day, maybe Sir Jony will knight you for valiantly against the Trolls.	16	2%
Apple doesn't need or want my help, and that's fine with me, ... are you the Switzerland or the Quaker of tech company support?	150	24%
Ask not what I can do for Apple, ask what Apple can do for me!, ... ask a Genius!	139	22%
Are you kidding? I do my best to help Apple fail!, ... now now, if you don't have something nice to vote, don't vote it at all.	95	15%
I'm helping myself to the results.	114	18%

May not add up to exactly 100% due to rounding, and groans from Cupertino.

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