|Did I like this movie? Like the villain would say, NO! WAHHHHH!. Whew, what a stinker of a movie! Insurrection looked like it was low-budget, is that possible?
In a nut shell, stretchy-skin people bully the Martha-Stewart-in-pyjamas Cult people. The Federation partners with the Stretchies to turf the cult off their own planet via a holoship (they wouldnt even notice, theyd still appear to be in their village! Brilliant!). After shipping them off in their own little cult world, the stretch-skins would then kill every living thing on the planet, for sport and business. They plan to exploit the fountain of youth particles that are generated by the planets rings. Picard and the gang become involved and gee-whiz, golly-gosh, they want to help the oppressed. The 600 people of Martha Stewart cult are about 300 years old, they are humanoids with big hair, puffy lips, and perky breasts. They tend their community gardens, feast at banquet tables, and arrange flowers. They have technology, but reject its uses except for education (laptop computers). They refuse to defend themselves from the bad guys because that would mean stooping to their level. But they dont mind if other people fire weapons for them. If they are young and healthy and 300 years old, why arent they breeding like rabbits? The planet should have been super-populated. Logic tells me it should have been like the human version of the tribble home-world. Captain Jean-Luc Picard hangs out with the lady with the biggest hair, and they have "moments" in the woods with the flowers and birds, gag!.
In case you ever wondered about Picard, Geordi, and Datas sexual orientation, you neednt wonder any longer. In the first 5 minutes of the show Picard and Data burst into Gilbert and Sullivan show tunes. Picard does a perky mambo in his chambers and he and Geordi just so happen to catch a sunrise together, (they are obviously necking off screen). This contrasts sharply to Rikers horndog antics directed at Diana Troi. There is a revolting scene of Diana shaving his face in the bathtub with him. Ewwwwww! The regenerative powers of the planet does not seem to have any effect on Beverely Crusher, she is looking absolutely Goth in this film.
The bad guys look astonishingly like Tommy Lee when he got out of prison. The Villain often has little temper fits and cries like a baby if he doesnt get his way, he even blew a blood vessel on this forehead, it was really gross! He and his pals constantly treat themselves to medieval torture esthetic and spa treatments from sexy Sea Monkey Aliens. The stretched-skin people turn out to be the shunned children of the Martha Stewart sarong people. The stretched skin people want their mummies and daddies to pay for casting them out of the cult for choosing the life of off-landers.
The technology in this film was so boring. The only thing half-decent was Rikers "blue angel" fart maneuvers. The ships and gizmos were dull, dull, dull. The stretched skin peoples ships had huge crushed velvet couches, they looked like they were in a video-arcade-lizard-lounge. For once, would Star Trek make the Villains good-looking and the oppressed homely?? The effects were second-rate.
Costumes were at their all-time worst. The invisible spies in the first scenes looked like the Pentium Chip dancers (Data had an Intel inside). Starfleet dignitaries were dressed up in majorette outfits. The stretchy-skin people dressed like Motley Crew. The Martha Stewart cult wore nothing but loose pajama pants, vests, and sarongs. The props were so bad, you could visibly see the actors embarrassment as they handled their water bazookas. Hey, did you know that in the 24th century Riker drives the Enterprise with a Gravis Firebird joystick? ... just like the one in Geek Erotica!. Wow, those joysticks cost ....like... a hundred bucks, that's where the budget went!
In promos on television, Brent Spiner said try doing stunts without oxygen!. I believe they tried writing this script without oxygen. Unfortunately, they succeeded.
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