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T O P I C R E V I E W
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Erbo
Member # 199
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 posted March 16, 2009 19:41
Last week, DWTS Season 8 opened with a bang...more than 22 million viewers tuned in to watch the opening round of this dance face-off! Whether they be hip-hop fans watching Lil'Kim, or the geek contingent there to cheer on Our Man Woz, I'm sure ABC is really happy for the viewership. Gambling911 has an odds analysis up after the first round: Shawn Johnson and Gilles Marini are currently the favorites at 3:2, while Our Hero is the definite long shot at 100:1. On the other hand, Woz has the Web and Twitter buzz behind him, if Google News is any indication. But now we've got another round of dancing to go through, and it's time for our contestants to take the floor!
The first clue we get that something is wrong is that Steve-O is absent from the "staircase descent" at the start of the show...Lacey walks down by herself! There'll be more details on that later, but first, we gotta get to Holly and Dmitry, who got optimistic reactions from the judges last week. She and Dmitry, who hasn't had as much chance to get acquainted, play a little Twenty Questions; they turn out to be total opposites, but they do get along as Holly is going for "Most Improved." Their quickstep seemed a bit tentative still, but definitely better; Sabrina said, "She has improved!" Len said she did very well on the steps, but not so well in her posture. "It looked like you were running for a bus!" said Bruno, saying her footwork suffered and her frame could be better. Carrie-Ann said that she looked like a doll being dragged around the floor, and saying she had to hold her own.
Scores: CAI 6, LG 6, BT 6, Total 18, Combined 36
David and Kym lost some points last week because of David's facial expressions, and David was determined to show them more of what he was all about this week. Kym responded by throwing everything at him in practice; "What is this woman on?" he wondered. This week, they took on the salsa, to "El Cumbanchero," and David seemed to tone it down a bit in the face, and give Kym a nice lead in the twirls. He did throw in some hip action...but not enough, according to Bruno, who faulted his timing as well, but praised his character this week. "Harder is not always better," said Carrie-Ann, who said it didn't quite mesh yet. Len agreed there was "too much Kym, not enough David" in the dance, and said, "Less sizzle, more sausage!"
Scores: CAI 6, LG 5, BT 6, Total 17, Combined 36
After Denise and Maksim gave their performance last week, Maks said the comments were "constructive," and they poured a lot of work into preparation for this week. Denise gets really tense, and doesn't understand how someone could invent a move where the lady gets bent backwards like that. Their quickstep, set to "We Go Together," had good footwork, and Denise looked like she was having fun, right up to the flashy finish. "Much better!" said Carrie-Ann. "You did go together!" said Len, who only found one flaw in the routine. Bruno picked up on that as well, but said "Great to see it, much improvement!"
Scores: CAI 7, LG 7, BT 7, Total 21, Combined 39
The waltz for Belinda and Jonathan fell flat last week, but she was determined to outdo herself this week. "You can't hide when you dance," warned Jonathan, and he planned out a salsa that would include some of Belinda's Go-Gos dance moves. "This salsa," said Belinda, of the dance to "Higher," "is all me!" She certainly showed off her sassy and animated site, and pulled off a deep dip in that dance; it got flat in the middle, but finished strong. Len noted the exuberance and fun, but that her hips were still lacking. Bruno thought it was great to see her let her hair down and shake it, but thought her timing and rhythm needed work. (He got a little overanimated in demonstrating this; Tom gave him a "1.") Carrie-Ann thought she was lacking in grace, though she did seem freer.
Scores: CAI 6, LG 6, BT 6, Total 18, Combined 35
(Continued next post)
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Erbo
Member # 199
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posted March 16, 2009 20:18
(Continued from previous post)
Of the cha-cha Ty and Chelsie did last week, Ty said "it was more of a 'cha,' 'cos I forgot half of it." Still, he was game for another round: "The cha-cha might've bucked me off, but the quickstep won't count me out!" This dance will last a lot longer than eight seconds, though, so he and Chelsie practiced hard, especially on giving Ty less of a stern, "concentrating" face. "Life is a Highway" was the music, and he certainly did ride it, with good speed and timing. "YEEE-HA!" said both Sabrina, here in the living room, and Carrie-Ann, on TV, who loved the smooth style and the strength in his holds. "You were right in it!" said Bruno. "You were in charge!" Len echoed the sentiments: "Absolute metamorphosis!"
Scores: CAI 7, LG 6, BT 7, Total 20, Combined 34
The waltz last week done by Shawn and Mark was "moving," but Shawn has a different challenge this week: the sexy salsa! Gymnastics ordinarily requires that the athlete be very powerful and rigid, while salsa demands a freer approach. Mark sometimes had to demonstrate steps for the very visual Shawn. She started off the dance insecure, but got more into it; Sabrina said, "Let the music carry you, girl!" I can't fault the speed, or the splits she did at the end. Bruno called it charming, precise, and sharp, but wanted "more NAUGHTY!" Len agreed, saying she had to let go a little more. Carrie-Ann did say she needed to get those hips into it a little more. (Guys? She's only seventeen! Chris Hansen is here to say, "Why don't you have a seat over there.")
Scores: CAI 8, LG 8, BT 8, Total 24, Combined 47
Well, fellow geeks, Woz and Karina definitely need help after last week. The cha-cha earned low score for the week, but Woz isn't deterred; after all, he's out to have fun! He loves the quickstep, but his foot doesn't; a doctor warns him that he's "crushing" his foot, and, when he's not dancing, he has a "boot" to wear. (I've worn one of those boots, I know what it's like...) The quickstep was to Buddy Holly's "Oh Boy," and Woz, after discarding that infamous pink boa, did his best to BE Buddy Holly. My reaction was, "My God, look at him go!" He was acting very un-Woz like, very acrobatic. (Karina playfully grabbed the "1" paddle as part of the routine, too.) Uniformly, the judges loved the antics, even if the dancing wasn't up to par. Len loved Buddy Holly as a youngster; maybe that helped. "What was THAT?" asked Carrie-Ann, who said Woz needed to work on his arm movements and endurance. Bruno called him "a bit rusty and in need of spare parts, but resilient and charming." Higher praise, Woz could not ask for.
Scores: CAI 6, LG 5, BT 6, Total 17, Combined 30
Real-life couple Chuck and Julianne failed to ignite the floor with their waltz, and had their work cut out for them with the salsa. "Sexy, sexy, sexy!" was Julianne's watchword, and she did her best to get Chuck through the more "feminine" movements of the salsa. To the tune of "Say Hey (I Love You)," Chuck's leg action was good, and Sabrina was saying, "Get down with it, Chuck!" Unfortunately, Bruno called it a "wasted opportunity," saying Chuck wasn't into it enough. Len agreed, he needed to really SELL the salsa, and didn't. Carrie-Ann said, "That wasn't a salsa, it was a mishmash!"
Scores: CAI 6, LG 7, BT 7, Total 20, Combined 40
Though the cha-cha might have fallen flat last week, don't count competitors Lawrence and Edyta out; he has always been a competitor, and is not going to give up, even competing against HIMSELF! He was a little out of sync, but his footwork was OK, and he was strong, and came out to a good finish. "I think he pinned it!" said Sabrina. Carrie-Ann was moved to disco music: "That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh!" Bruno was also upbeat: "That's a competitor!" Len was a bit of a Negative Nancy this round, saying, "Don't think about the routine, just dance!"
Scores: CAI 7, LG 6, BT 7, Total 20, Combined 36
(Continued next post)
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Erbo
Member # 199
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posted March 16, 2009 20:43
(Continued from previous post)
Disaster befell Steve-O and Lacey during the dress rehearsal for tonight's show, when Steve-O fell on his mic pack at the end of their routine and injured his already-spasming back. He went to the hospital, but, in the meantime, by DWTS rules, the judges could watch his dress-rehearsal videotape and score that. Steve-O felt it was "time to Jackass around" and "give the fans what they want," but obviously that didn't work out too well. The salsa, to "Cobrastyle," featured stunts, yes, but had no energy! It was slow, slow, SLOW! "I didn't get it," said Len. Bruno praised Steve-O's "appealing streak of madness," but said this dance was like "a series of unfortunate events." Carrie-Ann agreed, calling the stunts "unnecessary."
Scores: CAI 5, LG 4, BT 5, Total 14, Combined 31
For Lil'Kim and Derek, the challenge this week was to take her hip-hop energy from last week's decent cha-cha and turn it into ballroom elegance. "I want to show the world how refined and elegant I can be," said Kim, who nevertheless vowed, "Bruno, I'm'a show you 'tasty'!" "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" was their music, and Kim looked as if she might have gone for the Madonna "Material Girl" video look. "Wow," said Sabrina, as Kim's feet were definitely moving right, and she held a good performance. "You had bling oozing from every pore!" gushed Bruno, who called it "vivacious and uplifting," but said they were too far apart at times. Carrie-Ann praised the choreography, but said the holds needed work. "Shawn could learn from you, and you could learn from her!" said Len, who again pointed out the whole "too far apart" thing. At least she's not shy!
Scores: CAI 8, LG 7, BT 8, Total 23, Combined 44
If Woz gets knocked out, I think I'll support Melissa and Tony, whose performance last week was the surprise of the round. This week's salsa would be harder for the former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, who had to tone down her moves a lot, as she wasn't playing to a stadium. Ricky Martin's "The Cup of Life" was the perfect backdrop to a salsa that, to be quite honest, showed EVERYTHING that EVERY OTHER salsa performance this evening was lacking. The energy was there, as was the sexiness, as was the speed. I saw her trembling with energy as she finished; Sabrina said, "She really nailed it!" "SLAMMIN'!" said Carrie-Ann. "Finally! A REAL salsa!" Len was rooting for her in the dance, and called it "the salsa of the night." "NOW we are cooking!" gushed Bruno. "That was a JUICY salsa! I want MORE!" Watch her, folks; she's a dark horse competitor that could go all the way.
Scores: CAI 9, LG 8, BT 9, Total 26, Combined 49
To end it tonight, we have last week's top of the heap, Gilles and Cheryl. Gilles has been battling injury problems of his own; in his case, it's a separated shoulder, which thankfully won't affect ballroom steps much. "I must be sophisticated!" he said, and his quickstep, to "Kryptonite," complete with him sporting the Clark Kent look, was exactly that. The best way to describe him was "large and in charge." Len was relieved he wasn't a one-week wonder. "French class with American flair!" said Bruno. "You've got the ladies swooning!" said Carrie-Ann.
Scores: CAI 9, LG 9, BT 9, Total 27, Combined 51
Well, this week's performance from Woz got out of the cellar; Steve-O was low scorer this week, but, if you take the two-week combined totals, nice guy Woz still finishes last. Meanwhile, Gilles topped the charts again this week, as well as (obviously) the combined totals. Remember, Woz needs votes! You can vote online at ABC.com, or by phoning 1-800-868-3410. AT&T Mobility customers can also text VOTE to 3410.
Tune in tomorrow night, when we find out which two couples have to engage in a "dance-off" to see who gets knocked out! Or...could the back injuries spell the end of the road for Steve-O? Or could Woz bow out, God forbid? It's live TV, you never know what to expect!
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Erbo
Member # 199
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posted March 17, 2009 19:51
And tonight, it's the results, and we see who gets to be the first couple knocked off the show! First, though, we get to see a fun performance by three pro couples, to the accompaniment of Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, followed by an update on Steve-O's condition, in which he admits that the flip at the end of his dress-rehearsal performance was "a bad idea that became a worse one," and said he wanted to make up to Lacey for his poor decision-making. My guess is, we'll be seeing routines from him that stay a bit more conservative from here on out. Ya think? (It would be ironic if the dude that's shot ICBMs from his rectum, snorted plutonium, and stapled his scrotum to a moving train was knocked out by a simple backflip gone bad...)
After a quick review of the standings after the first two rounds, we reveal who's safe:
1. Lawrence & Edyta - Looks like this football star got the first down!
2. Shawn & Mark - Maybe not a 10.0 performance, but good enough to survive this round!
3. Chuck & Julianne - And this couple stays happy until next week!
4. David & Kym - I guess pulling in the whole "face" thing last night worked out well for him!
(Commercial break)
5. Denise & Maks - "The name's Richards. Denise Richards." And she moves on.
6. Melissa & Tony - Our dark horse contestant isn't getting dumped just yet!
7. Lil'Kim & Derek - Ladies at the Federal Correctional Center, your homegirl is still in it!
8. Gilles & Cheryl - Of course our top scorer with the judges, naked or not, will stay in!
And now comes the time on Dancing With The Stars where we pad the show! We get a "survival guide" filmed by Cameron Matheson (Season 5 competitor), then a big dance number as a salute to the Golden Age of Hollywood Musicals, featuring the Macy's Stars of Dance and choreographed by Michael Rooney, son of Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney. Then, in what must have been a bittersweet moment for her, Jewel, would-be competitor this season, sang "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" to accompany Dmitry and Chelsie, the two newest pro dancers. (We've got "Somewhere Over The Rainbow," and we are gonna need some magic to help out the Wizard of Woz!)
Next, the winning dance step in the "Design a Dance" contest was unveiled (the quickstep), and the competitors got a filmed segment to smacktalk their competition! Our Hero, of course, got a few funny licks in, such as "I turned down the 'naked man' role!" and "There can be only one Steve!" Finally, we get to hear who else is safe for next week:
9. Holly & Dmitry - Guess today is a "Holly-day," as she wiggles her way through!
10. Ty & Chelsie - It'll take more than a couple rounds on the dance floor to throw this cowboy out of the saddle!
11. Steve-O & Lacey - Shocker! The Jackass makes book to the next round, despite not dancing live last night!
And, for the last two couples...we go to the first-ever DWTS Dance-Off!
The salsa that Belinda and Jonathan pulled off last night really did nothing for the judges...or me, for that matter. They're trying it again tonight, and Belinda is working her fanny off on the hip action! They got LOTS of encouragement going into their dance, but I think her hips STILL weren't all that and a bag of chips. She did get out of sync, too, and the judges picked up on it. Len caught the improvement in the hips, but said she lost a couple of other things. "We feel for you," said Bruno, who still pointed out the lost footwork. Carrie-Ann said her performance was crisper and more passionate, but she lost the middle section of the routine.
Scores: CAI 5, LG 6, BT 6, Total 17
Woz and Karina, after the last round, may be down, but they are not out! Our Hero chose to repeat the quickstep, and I don't think Rocky Balboa could have worked as hard as he did to try and get it right! Tonight's performance was decidedly improved; you might say he got the clock rate up on those steps! ![[Smile]](smile.gif) With a big finish to the dance, the audience gave him a standing ovation! The judges, however, were realistic. "You're not a good dancer," said Bruno (OK, no news there), "but I love watching you!" Carrie-Ann said he was definitely better and smoother tonight, but still lost it a bit in the middle. Len admired his fighting spirit, noting there wasn't much improvement, but that Woz was easily the most fun and entertaining. And so say we all.
Scores: CAI 6, LG 5, BT 6, Total 17
Well, these scores get combined with the judges' scores from last night, but the viewer vote still counts for 50% of the final tally. (Or something like that. I suspect the math involved would baffle a CPA.) And, after all this...the couple knocked out of the competition is...
Belinda & Jonathan! The Go-Go is Gone-Gone!
And as for Woz & Karina..."Team Woz" came through! The master of microcode sidestepped the system crash, and will get to reboot his dance efforts next week!
Keep watching, fellow geeks! We got a mission in mind...you got a mission to find...come on...come on, come on...come on...and get your mission!
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Snaggy
Member # 123
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posted March 17, 2009 20:57
Erbo, do they ever post or reveal the actual results of the audience voting?
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Erbo
Member # 199
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posted March 18, 2009 09:03
quote:
Originally posted by Snaggy:
Erbo, do they ever post or reveal the actual results of the audience voting?
No, they never have, which can sometimes make the final results a bit confusing. I have to assume that Steve-O still has a big fanbase that kept him alive, for instance, but I don't know how close he came to being in the dance-off.
The dance-off didn't seem to make a lot of difference. You'll notice that Woz & Karina got the exact same score for the quickstep as they did Monday night, while Belinda & Jonathan actually dropped a point on their salsa. It may make more of a difference as time goes on, I don't know.
Anyway, this tells us that, if we want to see Woz keep going in the competition, we're gonna have to keep up and INCREASE the pressure in voting. There's going to be fewer competitors to split the opposing vote over time, and many of them have their own motivated fanbases (Steve-O, Ty Murray, and Lil'Kim come to mind, especially). Remember, AT&T Mobility customers (I'm looking at you, iPhone owners!) get to vote by text message in addition to phone, effectively giving you more leverage in the outcome.
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Snaggy
Member # 123
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posted March 18, 2009 09:36
No, they never have, which can sometimes make the final results a bit confusing.
That is super lame. Why bother voting then, since the producers can just do whatever they want?
And why do I even care about this!!!! ![[crazy]](graemlins/crazy.gif)
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Snaggy
Member # 123
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posted March 19, 2009 08:51
The lastest from Woz... in case you were wondering what he is up to. (He is answering a fan email.)
Q: Hey - where is the daily update? Me and all my friends at work are waiting for our daily dose of Woz. We LOVE the updates. Keep'em coming!
The Cable family is proud of you! We are all voting our hearts out.
Daily updates?
I'll get to it whenever I can. I mainly do live updates the days of broadcast, at the studio, during break times. I do so many interviews that it skips my mind that all of you are not getting them. I really want to do updates several times a day.
I'll try to do one tonight. I have to catch a limo to KTLA now. I'll try to talk about how we practice 6 to 12 hours a day and much of the rest is full of interviews for the show or TV or radio stations. Then there are dinners with producers or important friends. Then there's email. Then it's midnight with a 6 AM wakeup alarm on my iPhone. And right now I'm a bit behind on practice for the next dance. Being in a dance-off, and likely for the next dance-off, makes it harder on you for the next dance, actually, in terms of time to train.
Here's my standard blurb. Trust that my joke list receives any updates before they get to any website, so all of you are first.
The incredibly busy Dancing With The Stars schedule has really caught up with me. I have hundreds of email so I can't even find the time to read most of them. Official outbursts from me will go to my joke list and appear on my personal website
http://woz.org
and on the Facebook page
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=49720779842
I wish you well and someday things will get back to normal.
best wishes,
Woz
--
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Erbo
Member # 199
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posted March 19, 2009 13:30
quote:
Originally posted by Snaggy:
That is super lame. Why bother voting then, since the producers can just do whatever they want?
And why do I even care about this!!!!
Apparently, even Woz himself has had doubts about the veracity of the voting, as reported by MSNBC. Though the Facebook post where he said this has been taken down, he allegedly said, "I’m sure they want me in this dance-off to get higher Tuesday ratings, and they have preplanned it so that I win."
Instead, another Facebook post is up where Woz apologizes for his remarks. Here's a pullquote:
quote:
The top people of this show, ones responsible for counting audience votes and keeping them honest told me all the specific details of where their numbers came from. More than that, they explained how they can catch onto various forms of manipulation of the system by exactly the methods I had thought out in my head that would work. I was offered an opportunity to see the equipment they use also. You can tell when things are extremely on the level. You can also see why the exact totals cannot be released. That would make it harder to detect fraud. [emphasis mine] One main way that they detect fraud is when the phone-in votes and text votes and internet votes don't follow each other, percentage-wise. There are other things they look for as well that IT experts would detect as signals of something wrong.
Do you remember how honest Jarnal was in Slumdog Millionaire? I feel so horrible inside when Conrad, one of the DWTS producers, told me how horribly what I had said injured the show and himself. You can tell when someone is speaking in a way that they can't possibly be a liar or trying to deceive you the least bit. Conrad and the other producers are not liars. They are extremely honest people in my mind.
And nobody could get me to write this if I didn't believe it myself.
In this case they are certainly more honorable and honest than myself.
So, even if we can't see whether the system is on the up-and-up, we at least have Woz's own word that he's satisfied it is.
Also, it takes a big man indeed to admit he's wrong like that. Kudos to Woz for making the effort to set the record straight.
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Nitrozac
Member # 111
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posted March 20, 2009 09:21
Actually, I was kinda bummed that Belinda Carlisle was voted off the show. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) I'm a big fan of the Go Gos, I loved their music when I was in high school, and would play their songs in my convertible, with all my girlfriends piled in, while cruising. Those were good times. ![[Happytears]](graemlins/happytears.gif) To be honest, she did dance better than Woz, except for that handstand in the end, that just didn't look too good.
If I may rant further... I thought SteveO should have been kicked off, because of his idea to be kicked in the nuts at end. I think karma got him with that back injury. I'd like to see him do an Eliza Doolittle, and start out all crass and lowbrow and then turn into a classy, gracious dancer, not doing stupid Jack Ass stunts in the dance routines.
An one more thing... the dancing on that show sucks! It should be call "Acrobats with the stars", or "Dancing with Stars on Steroids". The show is peppered full of these fancy acrobatic tricks and not enough of graceful, skilled dancing. That segment where they paid tribute to old hollywood with all those female dancers... my gawd! It was a line-up of skeletal anorexics flailing their stick arms all over the place, they did not even come close to the true beauty of the old hollywood dancers like Ginger Rogers! The tempos are way too fast and their motions are way too exaggerated, they look like jack in the boxes! And when Jewel sang that super slow song, oh no, they couldn't dance slow and lovely, they had to spaz out, and double kick, and thrash around at break neck speeds. WTF?
Just one more final nit pick... what is up with those women's costumes? I was shocked and offended by Karina's first outfit where she was basically fully naked except for some lines of fabric here and there! They didn't even make an effort to make a design with the strategic coverings, it was just straight blocks! The other costumes look tacky, and it makes me nervous how it looks like the girls are going to pop out any second. That turquoise lattice pattern one that the Bachelorette wore... omg it was so UGLY! I didn't like Katrina's pink outfit with the Buddy Holly song, why would anyone ever wear two plates covered in florecent pink feathers on their boobs? Puke! IMHO.
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Snaggy
Member # 123
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posted March 20, 2009 09:52
whoa! someone's on coffee!
It's true, the handstand sunk the GoGo.
Re: SteevO (for those who don't know, Steevo planned to have his partner kick him in the nuts as hard as she could at the end of his routine. It took Woz to convince him that it wouldn't be the greatest idea.)
Skimpy outfits? I hadn't noticed! 
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Erbo
Member # 199
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posted March 20, 2009 13:41
I gather the skimpy outfits are pretty much par for the course in pro dance competitions these days.
That pro couple that did the dance to Jewel's "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" were previously on the So You Think You Can Dance program on Fox. I guess they were brought to DWTS so ABC could say, "Hey, look, we can be cool and edgy, just like the cool and edgy kids!"
Steve-O may stay on longer than he deserves to because he's got a big fanbase that can vote to keep him on, kind of the "Master P" effect. However, Woz is probably the beneficiary of that same effect, so I'm not gonna complain. Perhaps Steve-O can arrange to have his partner kick him in the jimmy when they're knocked off the show. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Erbo
Member # 199
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posted March 23, 2009 18:36
Guys, the review's not ready yet, but WOZ NEEDS HELP! Vote now! 1-800-868-3410, vote via ABC.com, or AT&T subscribers, text VOTE to 3410! Do it for the greater glory of geeks everywhere!!!!!!
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