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T O P I C     R E V I E W
AntonTakk
Member # 4686
 - posted November 25, 2005 23:26
ok, I am brand-spanking-new here, so i'll start right off with a few questions.

so the goal is to find someone to love and all that sappy stuff. Unfortunately, Quake 3 just isn't a skill the average girl looks for in a guy. which limits me to the real world, and these real obstacles:

1.) I'm shy, _VERY_ shy, according to a friend of my brother's who works with victims of abuse, I am "the most socially-awkward person" she has ever met.

2.) I don't tend to genuinely like people I don't know

other than a noticable weight issue, which I know how to handle, that's about it, and suggestions on overcoming the above problems?
 
Wick
Member # 4608
 - posted November 26, 2005 07:26
quote:
Originally posted by AntonTakk:


1.) I'm shy, _VERY_ shy, according to a friend of my brother's who works with victims of abuse, I am "the most socially-awkward person" she has ever met.


<crazy bearded man>
I can relate. I have been called socially awkward in many different ways. I do not match the traditional person. I refuse to be like the traditional person...it is all like they are stuck in a box. I like the theory of looking outside the box.

After a recent divorce I am looking for someone who would consider skills in Quake 3 a good thing. My best advice to you would be to go where groups of people that are like you are...card shops, lan parties, book stores etc (hopefully more options than what I have in my area.) It is much easier to talk to people who have the same interest...the more people you meet the more you meet through them and the cycle grows. Another thing that I have realized that you may not want to hear is you can make love an illusion. Example - You meet a girl that is cute (adorable cute...the kind that stings) and have a small conversation...natually you can't get her out of your mind...so you start thinking how great it would be to have a realation ship with this girl....you start making up fantasies in your mind of everything working out well and you and her being happy forever. That makes you "fall in love" so you think...yet you hardly know her. Don't get fooled by fantasies that love is great and perfect like movies. Just sit back and wait until it happens, if you search to much you will go crazy. There is no such thing as someone who can not find another. I will quit my rant...sorry just things I was thinking while working the other night. Hope its not too confusing. </crazy bearded man>
 
YaYawoman
Member # 4505
 - posted November 26, 2005 10:35
Hello. Welcome to GC. Have fun posting.

If you do begin to post here often, you will come to understand that waving this topic at me is like waving a porterhouse in front of a starving pitbull.

Keep making contact whether you think you like a person or not. It is good practice. Use the people you come into contact with in your daily life. Cashiers, bank tellers,waiters etc. Eye contact, small talk, smile. Keep trying and trying. It gets easier the more you do it.
 
ewomack
Member # 3225
 - posted November 26, 2005 15:18
There's a great exercise you can try. It's called "say hi to everyone for 2 days". It's simple: you say hello to everyone who walks by you for two entire days - within reason (of course you should go to public places when you do this; playing Quake 3 for 2 days and saying "well! I didn't see anyone!" won't prove fruitful). Not only is it good social skills practice, but it emphasizes the fact that socialness has a random quality to it that's simply beyond your control. Some people will react, others won't. And what's the difference if they don't? At least you tried. In the end, it should reinforce the fact that you have nothing to be afraid of (but don't go saying hello to fellows in ski masks carrying uzis - be comfortable).

I have a rule I try to live by: There is never any reason to be rude to someone that I don't know. They haven't done anything to me, so why be rude to them?

Social skills take pratice. That's all. So does playing Quake 3 - and I'll bet you're great at Quake 3.
 
Steen
Member # 170
 - posted November 26, 2005 21:27
AntonTakk wrote:
1.) I'm shy, _VERY_ shy, according to a friend of my brother's who works with victims of abuse, I am "the most socially-awkward person" she has ever met.

As stated, talk to people, but understand that this is like learning any new skill. You don't enter a triathalon in order to learn to run, bike and swim. You don't ask for dates to learn to talk to people comfortably. Talk to people you aren't thinking of dating. Once you're comfortable with that, then start talking to the ones you do find interesting.

2.) I don't tend to genuinely like people I don't know

That's sort of redundant. You can't genuinely like someone until you know something about them to like. You can make assumptions about whether you might like someone based on appearance, but that's shallow and only works in the most general sense (i.e. if you're allergic to cigarette smoke, perhaps the woman chain smoking at the entrance to the restaurant while complaining loudly about non-smoking policies isn't the best match for you)
 
Uberism
Member # 4653
 - posted November 28, 2005 15:53
The only thing you can really do is just try to get out there-- I hate small talk so try to think topics of conversation other than the weather to start off with--do this and you will find that most people are not all that interesting but you may find a few that are and really that's all you need.
 
shane_the_god_of_my_room
Member # 4709
 - posted December 02, 2005 19:48
I used to be a extremely shy person up until I was about 20
so I started to read up alot about psychology
I wanted to understand what shynness was
and how I could got out of being like that all the time

then I read about how you can fake confidence
so that people reflect it back at you
after several months of this I started to feel more confident when talking to people I didnt know
and started to use this in everyday life
and I still do to this day

I also thinK getting in to heavy punk at the time helped me over come it
I realised that back when I was all shy
I would sit at home not going out feeling sorry for myself
but now if I ever start to feel like that I think to myself
SCREW THIS SHIT IM NOT GOING TO SIT AROUND FEEL SORRY AND UPSET
BOLLOCKS NO
IM GOING TO GO OUT/TALK BOLLOCKS TO PEOPLE AND HAVE SOME FUN [evil]

when ever you start to feel sorry for your self
say hell no Im not going to feel like this

I found getting a little angry about it
your more likely to get out there and do something about it
rather then just feeling upset and sorry about it

dont wait for other people to help you
help your self
your the one that has to make the change
not them
 
YaYawoman
Member # 4505
 - posted December 03, 2005 00:40
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.
 
ChildeRoland
Member # 3880
 - posted December 03, 2005 21:45
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
 
alfrin
Member # 3836
 - posted December 03, 2005 21:50
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
 
Rhonwyyn
Member # 2854
 - posted December 03, 2005 21:51
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
Paragraph.
 
ChildeRoland
Member # 3880
 - posted December 03, 2005 22:22
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
Paragraph.
Novella.
 
Maggs
Member # 4682
 - posted December 06, 2005 18:50
Verb
 
Metasquares
Member # 4441
 - posted December 06, 2005 19:16
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
Paragraph.
Novella.
Integrals are fun!

Anthology.
 
Rhonwyyn
Member # 2854
 - posted December 06, 2005 19:33
quote:
Originally posted by Metasquares:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
Paragraph.
Novella.
Integrals are fun!

Anthology.

Boxed set. [Wink]
 
Steen
Member # 170
 - posted December 06, 2005 20:10
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by Metasquares:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
Paragraph.
Novella.
Integrals are fun!

Anthology.

Boxed set. [Wink]
Library
 
shane_the_god_of_my_room
Member # 4709
 - posted December 07, 2005 09:58
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by Metasquares:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
Paragraph.
Novella.
Integrals are fun!

Anthology.

Boxed set. [Wink]
Library
Internet [crazy]
 
drunkennewfiemidget
Member # 2814
 - posted December 07, 2005 12:31
quote:
Originally posted by shane_the_god_of_my_room:
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by Metasquares:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by ChildeRoland:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Amen shane. Couldn't say it better.

word.
Sentence.
Paragraph.
Novella.
Integrals are fun!

Anthology.

Boxed set. [Wink]
Library
Internet [crazy]
Al Gore
 
yolospat
Member # 4734
 - posted December 09, 2005 21:27
quote:
Originally posted by AntonTakk:
1.) I'm shy, _VERY_ shy, according to a friend of my brother's who works with victims of abuse, I am "the most socially-awkward person" she has ever met.

ME TOO, well, sort of. I met my boyfriend via www.livejournal.com from a random post from a guy that just happen to friend us both. We used to live over 2200 miles away from eachother, but now we live together, and things are bliss. Don't give up.
 
dragonman97
Member # 780
 - posted December 09, 2005 22:31
*blinks*

**Points at post in dupe #2.
 




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