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T O P I C     R E V I E W
Member # 1556
 - posted January 03, 2007 09:56
A few years ago, I bemoaned my existance in Midland, TX, which is not only our president's hometown, but is also the heart of redneck country.

Well, I've since relocated to Atlanta, another mecca of redneckism. While the scenery is much prettier, one thing has become glaringly evident: redneck culture is a growing epidemic in this country.

Symptoms of this epidemic are as follows:
  • Butchering of the English language. Recognizable, common words such as "here" and "I" are mutated to "hyuh" and "Aah".
  • Reactions of total shock and awe at the revelation that you eat sushi, visit other countries, and don't actually want to live in the same place for the rest of your life.
  • Complete shock and awe that there is another way of life than what they grew up in. "Vegan? Whut in tarnation's thet? Yo' mean thar's people what acshully doesn't ett meat?!?"

If you or someone you know is suffering from acute redneckism, please do not wait. Get off of your Lazy Boy recliner, put down your Bud light, turn off the football game and go to the library immediately. Go visit another country. Learn how to speak proper English.

And for the love of Pete, quit being such a #$&)(%* obnoxious troglodite and make a worthwhile contribution to society. And if you live in 709 Vinings Crest, quit making so much @#$()*%# noise in the middle of the night. Just because you don't have to get up in the morning for a real job doesn't mean your downstairs neighbors don't. ... just a thought.
Member # 6340
 - posted January 03, 2007 16:05
I live near to Midland, and have been there quite a few times. I know exactly what you mean.

I also used to live near Atlanta (in Georgia). Honeslty, I think Texas is worse. Much much worse. The only thing is that Texas is expected to be that way, so its not such a 'big deal'. But other places (ie Atlanta)....well thats another story.

Here's a suggestion that I have found helps me: find the humor in it all. When someone is getting on my nerves because of their language, I play a game. I begin to talk like them...but I really exaggerate it. So far the reactions have been: they pick it up quickly, have a laugh, then try to speak better English in front of you from now on.

Also, a note about Texas. We are quick to pick up on 'outsiders' and we love to have a laugh about it. So its not uncommon for us to overexaggerate things, just to see the outsiders reaction. For instance, a big pranke we played on someone a while ago: a very stuck up person found themselves in the midst of our small town. They did not like how 'uncivilized' we were and often let us know. They soon found a job at the local automobile repair shop. So one day, when we knew that this person was working, several of us went to this shop and told the person "Howdy! We be herr to get us a ole fixer upper on our autos! How much will it be costin us?" (of course, this person did it in their most Texan-like accent possible). There were a lot of people with our buddy, so the outta-towner was a bit skeptical. I would not have been surprised if he was thinking 'Well, these stupid old rednecks probably tried to drive and wound up crashing all their cars!" Instead, he just declared that he would have to see all the damage before he could make any estimates. So he agreed to have a quick look at the vehicles, and would make a first very informal estimate. So he followed us outside to the parking lot where normally the towed vehicles are put. Well, you should have seen the look on the man's face when the entire parking lot was filled up with horses [Big Grin]

Anyway, good luck with it all. I hope you can accomodate well to it all -- I know how frustrating that can be.
Member # 1556
 - posted January 04, 2007 17:14

The only problem is ... I do a very bad Slingblade impression. Actually, I probably sound like a cross between Beavis and Cookie Monster.
Colonel Panic
Member # 1200
 - posted January 04, 2007 18:42


Atlanta is a mecca for the arts, and an island in the south for some pretty chic cosmopolitan thinkers.

Elton John maintains a residence there. I recall a few years agao seeing Bono at Crawford Studios where he and U-2 were recording a soon to be very popular music video -- she moves in mysterious ways or something like that.

Atlanta is a communications hub thatnks to Ted Turner. And you remember Ted put up with Jane Fonda for quite a few years, which is something no self-respecting redneck would ever do.

Hey, rednecks make my skin crawl, most folks in here know that.

I'm sorry to hear you may have one as a next door neighbor, though. And yes, Gwinnett county is very conservative. But Atlanta is not really a redneck town.

Hang in there. Have hope.


Colonel Panic
Member # 530
 - posted January 05, 2007 06:18
"Paddle faster, I hear banjos!" [Eek!]
Member # 6812
 - posted January 06, 2007 01:05
Hello people.
I'm new here but just wanted to point out that Rednecks are in every state in some capacity.
Try living in southern Mississippi.And then try finding a suitable sushi bar.lol
Member # 1556
 - posted January 12, 2007 16:00
Originally posted by fotno_:
Hello people.
I'm new here but just wanted to point out that Rednecks are in every state in some capacity.
Try living in southern Mississippi.And then try finding a suitable sushi bar.lol

You're telling me! In Midland, TX, people looked at me like I was an alien when I told them I like sushi. "You eat raw fish?!?

... unlike so many of that region, who apparently prefer to eat their young.
Member # 6838
 - posted January 12, 2007 20:02
Every state has rednecks, that is for sure. But nothing beats an Alabama redneck... Ahhh, Alabama... where the motto is, "at least we're not Mississippi."

I lived there for awhile (don't ask) and people were always nice to me and I to them... until they found out I was from NY. After that, all I heard was an, "oh."

I never really fit in, though. I didn't know what "muddin'" was or what "fixin to start" meant. I don't like Wal-mart, I don't go to church, and I cannot stand "reality TV" so I basically had nothing to talk about to anyone.

Luckily, I lived in Birmingham where there were ample Sushi bars...

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