|
T O P I C R E V I E W
|
Snaggy
Member # 123
|
 posted March 29, 2005 07:47
The following interactions were taken off of actual police car videos
around the country.
"Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile."
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write
anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
help. Oh... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or
I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride
on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey shit."
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.
At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."
|
drunkennewfiemidget
Member # 2814
|
posted March 29, 2005 08:29
Ha! Brilliant.
I particularly like the, "You want a warning? Do it again and I'll give you another ticket."
Q: What did the LA cop call the black man who'd ben shot in the chest 14 times?
A: Worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.
|
Tom- geeking around
Member # 2876
|
posted March 30, 2005 13:03
LOL..
those are cool--
I especially liked the "can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second"-one..
Feeling spooky?
Thomas
|
MTB Babe
Member # 2297
|
posted March 31, 2005 15:07
quote:
Originally posted by Snaggy:
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write
anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
I'm so surprised I haven't heard this one!!! Funny!
|
CrawGator
Member # 392
|
posted April 01, 2005 08:03
My favorites are ones that my father has told me from when he was active as a State Trooper.
Speeder: But officer, why did you pull me over? Other people were speeding alot faster than me.
Officer: Ever go fishing?
Speeder: Yes
Officer: Ever catch all of the fish?
----------
Officer: Liscence and registration please?
Speeder gets out of car making motions like he's deaf.
Officer writes out instruction to speeder and shows him words.
Speeder still making motions like he's deaf.
Officer sees car coming.
Officer: Hey get off the road a car is coming.
Speeder jumps off the road.
Officer: Hallelua and Praise God I just witnessed a miracle! Now liscence and registration please.
|
GMx
Member # 1523
|
posted April 01, 2005 09:44
A friend of mine told me this one about his father getting a ticket.
He explained he was broke and couldn't afford it.
"You can't get blood from a turnip," he said.
The cop replied, "Yeah, but we can put 'em in jail!"
|
|
