T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 50394
posted February 04, 2014 22:29|
journal entry 42 Richard Logan main assistant to Dr James O'Neil.
subject chemical fusion reactor experiment.
We have finally succeeded in creating a chemical basted cold fusion reactor but will it work as we want or will explode like all the others.
-rick stabilize that plasma tube or this thing will go boom!
-yea yea I will stop nagging and fix that steam went.
There was a lot of problems whit the construction of the reactor but what can you expect when creating a chemical based cold fusion reactor on an budget of 50 000 dollars and an limited supply of junk.
The more we came closer to completing this thing the more problems we encountered .
-hey jimmy is that tube suppose to glow like that?
-rick get away from that before it....
we don't know what relay happened all we know is that I got a 3d degree burn and James lost one arm and the reactor is toast and sow is the lab.
-what do we do now Jim? Or lab is toast we have no money you have only one arm and I am homeless.
-well you can bunk at my place and as for money well we can get new jobs I can work as a teacher in the local university and I can pull some strings and maybe get you a job at the local chemical-disposal plant.
-well its better then nothing.
As the weeks went by I started to feel more and more energized I cant explain it but something was wrong whit me.
One day my boss told me to come to his office.
-Richard my only employe I what you to takeover as boss over this place.
-OK thanks Adam but why?
-i am going to retire.
-OK I wasn't expecting to hear that.
Then the hours went by and at the end of the day when I was closing up the acid poles when suddenly Adam slipped on a puddle of oil and fell right for an open tank of acid.
-ADAM! I screamed and tried to reach for him and as I did some kind of yellow laser beam was fried from my hand. it manege to hit the lid of the tank it fell down and Adam hit the lid and fell down to the concrete floor and he hit it hard I don't know how meany bones he broke but when I got him to the hospital he was already dead.
I told the police what happened but I left out the laser thing they whodunit believe me anyway.
Later at home I told Jim every thing. He was actually not surprised he told me that he that something would happen after the explosion.
-what do you mean something would happen?
-i cant explain it but somehow I know that something would happen.
our conversion was interrupted bye the news reporter on the TV.
-i am reporting live from downtown where the criminal known only as Bomber has taken 20 people
hostage why he did it or what he whats is still unknown.
The reporter was interrupted when 6 windows exploded and four body's came flying out of the windows..
-did hi just kill 6 innocent people!?
-i think he did.
-cant someone stop him.
-perhaps you can Rick.
-me you cant be serious what can I do agents him he can manifest explosions of any size and power at will.
-and you can shoot lasers from your hands cant you.
-yes I can but I cant go out fighting a super-villain in my regular cloths?
-you can use the super hero suit I used for Halloween.
He took out the suit and it was red whit a blue cape and a yellow belt and a yellow stripe across the torso.
I pot I on and it fitted and looked good then he gave me the mask and it was a full cover mask whit a dark stripe over the eyes. As I putt on the mask Jim sad.
-dam you look good how about a name, what do you say about laser man?
-laser man hm no it don't work for me.
-what about alpha man?
-nice I like it.
Then I ran down to downtown the hard part was to stick to the shadows but I did it when I got there I stood in an alley looking for a way in then I saw a open window 6 meters up.
I don't know why but I tried to jump and I did one hell of a jump I over shoot the window but I manege to land in an open window on the top floor.
-wow I didn't know I can fly.
As I stood on the top floor I wondered how I was to get down if I took the steers he wold blow them up if I took the elevator he wold blow it up sow I started to think.
-i wonder if I can blast my way down?
As I focus´t a blinding light appeared and somehow I was teleported down to the first floor into an abandon closet.
-how the hell did I get here?
Then I heard him.
Hi was just about to execute 4 more innocent people.
-STOP! I shouted.
-and ho the hell are you? He ask he had a Darth Vader like voice only darker and more evil
-i am your wurst nightmare but you can call me alpha-man.
-alpha-man LAME .he said and detonated the floor below me.
-so mulch for him.
after the smoke cleared i was still standing there whit out a scratch
-what a fuck how can you still be alive?!
I didn't know my self but somehow I survived that explosion but it hurt like hell and it was some thing I didn't want to fell again.
-you are not the only one whit special skills.
-then lets see if you can survive a 8 megaton nuclear blast AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
-are you insane that blast would incinerate the entire city and you whit it.
-no I will survive and you will not hahahaha.
He cant be serious I got to find a way to stop him.
Sow I focus´t all my anger and tried to fire a laser beam but he beam was more powerful then thought and I didn't aim to carefully sow I accidentally blasted of his hand.
-AAAAARGH you fucking asshole you shoot my hand of I will kill you for that.
Then he started to detonating explosions everywhere but most of them was close to me but I maned to doge almost all of them and when I had a clear line of sight I fired a laser beam and it hit him right in the chest and then he exploded.
When the smoke had cleared I check´t the hostage the survives ware in chock sow I went out to get an medic but when I came out I was greeted by guns.
-hold it right there bomber.
-wait I am not bomber.
-then who are you and where is bomber.
-i am alpha-man and bomber is no more I think.
-what do you mean by he is no more.
-he just exploded.
-are the hostage alright?
-yes they are fine I think I should be going now bye.
-you are not going anywhere until you have answered some questions.
I know I should have staid but I didn't what to answer any questions about me and my powers sow I jump and think I overdid it because I landed in a pine tree and it hurt like hell.
-i really need to work on my flying ability.
After 4 hours and 50 pine trees I finally made it back to Jimmies place and was he surprised.
-what a hell happened to you?
-well I defeated bomber learned how to fly and crashed in 51 pine trees and I got pine cones in places I don even what to talk about.
-it sounds like you had a real adventure.
I told him of my experiences and he was quite impressed and surprised that I can fly.
Over the following 3 years I practices my powers and fighting crimes and I learned that my powers wasn't laser based but energy based.
I had learned how to use energy orbs, energy shields, energy blades, holograms, energy absorption, super charge and heat remover.
Whit my power I have helped meany people I have made the mafia quite mad at me they really don't like me only because I destroyed their NR 1 weapon bomber and stop´t half of their operations in the city.
One day when i was flying over the city I saw a gigantic mech like thing walking around and blasting stuff sow I flu over to the mech and put my self right in front of what I think was its head.
-i don't know who or what you are but you are casing trouble in my city sow either you stop or I will stop you.
When I finish my sentences the mech barbequed me whit a green fire dam that fire hurt as I fell to the ground I got a good look of the mech.
BOOM and I was down at the ground lucky my energy shield damped the fall.
-now you made me mad no one barbeques me and gets away whit it.
Sow I frowned an energy orb at its torso and it hit but the robot did not explode only fell apart and when all of the parts hap hit the ground the part disintegrated only a small disk like object was left as I tuck up it a hologram activated and a dark figure admitted.
-sow you destroyed my robot alpha-man but that thing was only a mean to analyze you and you powers.
-who are you!?
-lets just say that I am an enemy you don't wish you had.
Then the disk exploded.
-an enemy I wish I don't have?
who ever that person was I have a feeling I haven't seen the last of him
Member # 4924
posted February 08, 2014 14:33|
thanks for posting , I have a few comments:
I made it to adams death and then skimmed the rest of the story.
I Don't understand why he can shoot laser beams from his hand. where did this power come from.. Is that not an integral part of an origin story?
You need to work on spelling and grammar. A few mistakes are ok, but there were so many it got inthe way of inderstanding what was happening.
YOu jump around too much and don't introdce the reader to what is happening.. I had a very hard time understanding what was going on.
Member # 50394
posted February 14, 2014 17:03|
hi thanks for the reply and the criticism
as for the "origin" of his power i am actually holding that sow it is a mystery to both the readers and the main character
they have an origin but i am saving that for a later installment in the comic/story