This is topic Postcards from transitioning in forum Our stupid lives at The Geek Culture Forums.
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Posted by AmySox (Member # 199) on August 13, 2017, 04:36:
As I posted elsewhere, I've been engaged in the process of transitioning from male to female. Here are some little vignettes from the process as it's happened so far.
I was presenting as female the day I went to submit my petition for a name change. I gave my papers to the clerk, then sat and waited. Eventually they called my name: "Ms. Bowersox? Courtroom A-1, upstairs." Now, I know that we should be addressed as the gender we present as, but, gosh darn it, I feel like I earned that "Ms." title!
A few weeks later, I came back to the court and got my final name change order. As I drove off from the courthouse, my first thought was, "My name is Amy Gale Bowersox." And, immediately thereafter, I thought, "No, my first name ain't 'Baby,' it's Amy, Ms. Bowersox if you're nasty!"
The next day, I had a liberating realization: I can now apply red nail polish, and not have to worry about taking it off on Sunday night!
After I got my new driver's license, I went to my bank to change my name on my account; they handled it quickly and professionally. Then I went and visited my credit union, which is a tiny office with only two people working there, and only one was there that day: Mystic, the president of the credit union. I told her, "I need to change the name on my account. My name is Amy Bowersox." She burst into tears and hugged me on the spot! This is one example of why it's good to deal with small, local credit unions.
When it comes to credit-card companies, things are very labyrinthine. Only one of them would change my name over the phone. Two of them mailed me forms I had to fill out and mail back, along with suitable proof (copies of my name change order and my new driver's license). Two of them just asked me to mail those things directly. One wanted me to fax them (who uses fax anymore?). One was willing to accept scanned documents electronically. (I still haven't gotten all my new cards with the right name on them...)
When one of those replacement credit cards arrived, it came with a postage-paid envelope to ship the old one back for secure disposal. I thought I didn't need it, as I stuffed the card into the shredder. That card, though, was so thick and heavy, it jammed the shredder, and I had to put it in reverse to get the now-slightly-mangled card out. I then went ahead and put it in the envelope...
The day I returned to the office, the nameplate on my cubicle had been changed, and someone taped a "WELCOME AMY!" sign over one of my monitors. But it took about two days before I had my E-mail working correctly; our IT support people actually had to escalate a call to the E-mail system vendor to fix everything! Other things took awhile to fix as well, just so I could be "abowersox" instead of "ebowersox" everywhere.
When I changed over my car insurance, my premium actually dropped a bit...because a woman driving a car is lower-risk than a man. Bonus!
A few days ago, I got a call from a recruiter, and I answered the phone in my feminine voice. She thought she'd gotten the wrong number, because she was looking for "Eric"! After I filled her in, she congratulated me on my transition, and was really happy for me.
Posted by Nitrozac (Member # 111) on August 14, 2017, 03:27:
This is really cool! I'm glad people are treating you with respect that you deserve.
Posted by GMx (Member # 1523) on August 14, 2017, 11:43:
Posted by GMx (Member # 1523) on August 14, 2017, 11:47:
Posted by AmySox (Member # 199) on August 16, 2017, 16:56:
I just changed the name on my "Eric" GitHub account to "Amy," and deleted an old "Amy" account that I had for other things. (It had pretty much nothing associated with it.) When GitHub deleted that account, they sent me an E-mail saying "sorry to see you go, please reply to provide feedback." I replied, saying "I'm not actually going. I'm just consolidating accounts now that I've transitioned." One of their staffers E-mailed me back with his congratulations; he's a member of the LGBTQ community himself, and appreciated how I "empower others to have the confidence to be who they are." Now that's customer service!
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