This is topic I Quite! Tales From Work in forum Our stupid lives at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by IScareWittyCommentsAway (Member # 4878) on March 27, 2006, 22:54:
 
Saturday I gave my two weeks notice at work. I work as a busser/hostest and have had some very bad/creepy things happen seince I started working in the cafe.

What are your stories about work?
 
Posted by Ashitaka (Member # 4924) on March 27, 2006, 23:53:
 
I quit my high paying job as an analytical chemist at a pharmacuetical manufacturer 14 months ago. I shoved what I could into two suitcases (each wieghing no maore than 30 kilos) and put averything else in storage. With only my two suitcases (and a carry-on) I emigrated from the US and have never looked back.
 
Posted by Demosthenes (Member # 530) on March 28, 2006, 11:10:
 
Me: "If we ship your iPod out to service and you choose to have it shipped directly to your house, instead of picking it up here at the store, we can assume no responsibility if anything happens to it in transit."
Jackass: "What?! This is bullshit, if FedEx loses my iPod, it's clearly your fault! Rant rant rant! Whine whine whine! I want a manager!"

/me gets manager.

Manager: "If we ship your iPod out to service and you choose to have it shipped directly to your house, instead of picking it up here at the store, we can assume no responsibility if anything happens to it in transit."
Jackass: "Okay!"

Sigh. [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by toobe (Member # 3783) on March 28, 2006, 11:49:
 
So clients of ours needed to access the new logo we just designed them. I put all the various versions of it in a file called ClientsName_logos.zip and uploaded it to our ftp site. I sent them an e-mail with instructions on how to access it, and the name of the file. Then I called them to confirm, again telling them the name was ClientsName_logos.zip. One of them, Jane, called me back a few hours later, to confirm the instructions and name of the file.

Are you keeping track? They have now been told the name of the file three times.

I get a call the next morning from Jane, who is irate. She went onto our ftp site, saw two files (ClientsName_logos.zip and ForBob.sit). So she downloaded ForBob.sit and then couldn't figure out why the logos weren't in there. And, somehow, it was all my fault.

*headdesk*
 
Posted by Jace Raven (Member # 2444) on March 28, 2006, 12:51:
 
I just finished designing a section website. I tell the section head to go to the site and let me know what he thinks, I can still make changes. I tell him to go to http://secion.unit.usmc.mil.

I get a phone call back:
"I dont see it. I open my browser and nothing comes up."
"Did you navigate to the site?"
"Yes"
"What is in your address bar"
"nothing, I go there and nothing comes up. I have a blank white screen"

I got a notion that it was somewhere around 7 or 8 so I decide to go take a look. I walk in and click on the link that I sent him and it loads. I walk out.

The next day I get a call from an irate section head about how the site is not what he expected and wants me to re-do the entire thing.

I asked, "Whats wrong with it?"
he said, "I dont like it"
"what about it do you not like"
"I dont know, I just dont like it"
"Can you find everything you need?"
"Yes, I just dont like it"
"Is there anything missing"
"No, I just dont like it"
"Tough Shit"
*Hang up phone*
 
Posted by LoneWolf (Member # 4966) on March 28, 2006, 13:07:
 
Life in the Student lab:3 stories

#1
users:"we tried to duplex this document, but it only prints one page"
Me. :<checks document. Document is only one page.> Your document needs to be two pages long in order to have it duplexed"
users:<in unison>"Oh, really?"

#2
Me: "what application are you using?"
USER: "Huh?"
Me.: "What program did you use to create your document?"
USER: "wha?"
Me.:"What thing did you use to make your thing?"
USER: "Oh, Microsoft Word!"

#3
A user was shocked to learn that you cannot attach a file to an email when the file is on your home machine, and the user is in the lab. The user was typing c:/myfile.doc and just assumed, through computer magic, that the file on her hard drive at home would be attached to the email. I had a hell of a time trying to explain to her that it just does not work that way.
 
Posted by Demosthenes (Member # 530) on March 28, 2006, 15:27:
 
Customer: "I can't get online!"
Me: "Okay, well, what's your internet service provider?"
Customer: "You tell me. I get Comedy Central and ESPN, and my long distance rates are..."
Me: *headdesk*

Customer: "Can you back up all my .mp3s to this floppy disk?"

Customer: "You work here, help me find the karaoke CDs."
Me: "I don't work on the sales floor, and you've probably got a better idea than I do where they'd be. Let me get you someone who works in media."
Customer: "BUT I ASKED YOU TO HELP ME."

Customer: "I need you to install this for me!"
Me: *has her jacket on and a cigarette in her mouth, is counting change for the bus ride home*
Customer: "Didn't you hear me? It's your job to install this for me!"
Me: *ignores*
Customer: "This is your obligation! You need to do this for me, right now!"

They ended up following me out of the store and halfway down the block until I stopped at the bus station. What does it take to convince people that I'm off the clock and I don't have to help them? [shake head]
 
Posted by toobe (Member # 3783) on March 28, 2006, 16:36:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Demosthenes:

Customer: "This is your obligation! You need to do this for me, right now!"

You win.
 
Posted by Xanthine (Member # 736) on March 28, 2006, 17:44:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jace Raven:

I asked, "Whats wrong with it?"
he said, "I dont like it"
"what about it do you not like"
"I dont know, I just dont like it"
"Can you find everything you need?"
"Yes, I just dont like it"
"Is there anything missing"
"No, I just dont like it"
"Tough Shit"
*Hang up phone*

I had a conversation very similar to that with my advisor about three weeks ago when I was putting together figures for a talk and a paper. Except we were face to face, and I was nowhere near as ballsy.

But if you really want to talk about dealing with idiots, back in my TA days I had a student light the gas as it came out of the valve, no bunsen burner attached. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a ribbon of fire go shooting across the kid's bench and into the aisle. This got my attention so I turned around and he goes "I don't get how this is suposed to work," as he opens the valve and lihgts up another jet of gas. If the back pressure on the gas lines weren't so high the whole building would have exploded. The kicker is this: he was watching me, right up front and center, when I demonstrated how to connect and light a burner. I ran through it about five times. He was even there when I told the class that I'd already set up a bunsen burner on every bench. I'd even come in early to make sure the burners were all set up properly so there wouldn't be any incidents with flames shooting out the sides or up to the ceiling. All the kids needed to do was open the gas valve and light up. But apparently he still missed the parts about "it's all set up" and "you need to connect the hose to the valve".

Then there the girl who handed over her test, left the room, and then came running back in wanting to change an answer. She actually got pissed at me when I refused. [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Steen (Member # 170) on March 28, 2006, 18:48:
 
A customer demanded we give him his money back on an analyzer because we were refusing to send him a firmware disk and it was not operational. We were refusing to send him the disk because the analyzer's warranty had run out three and a half years earlier and they had never paid for maintenance. I emailed him asking if he really thought he was entitled to a refund after using the system for four and a half years. We didn't hear back from him.

I've posted this elsewhere, but one of the techs who installs our online monitoring systems had to ask me if 15VDC was within the +/-10VDC range that the system can handle.

I had one other tech in the field call and tell me that his Fluke Scopemeter (you need to see the picture to get this) wouldn't turn on.
"Have you pressed the power button?"
"It doens't have one"
"It's the green button"
"There is no green button!"
...
"Are you holding the phone in your right hand and the meter in your left hand?"
"Yes"
"Move your thumb, Mark"
"Oh"

I have a lot of stories about management, but those would get me fired. Maybe tomorrow.
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on March 28, 2006, 19:10:
 
Heh...I was walking with my boss as I was about to leave...sometime around 2015...and someone approached me "Can I ask you a quick question?"

I sternly answered, "No. I'm tired and hungry, and about to go home."

He persisted, asking his question, which I pretty much answered in the negative to every single part of it. My boss thought I should have given him a bit more leeway, as I'm usually a bit more reasonable, but I pretty much just didn't want to deal with that one at the time. *shrug* (Mind you, he pointed out that if it was someone cute, I might have cooperated -- to that I added "...not so sure...I really am tired and hungry.")
 
Posted by Swiss Mercenary (Member # 330) on March 28, 2006, 19:52:
 
On the night shift I have to answer support calls for the English, French and German customers and it can get nasty.

Call in on german hotline at 5am, I take the call but eventually get lost with the German, so I ask the client if he can speak english to help me out here.
Answer: "Yes I can, but it is a german hotline so you must speak german," and he continues on in german. Call took twice as long as necessary, but the thing is that the phone line is a premium rate line, so he was paying about 2 Euros a minute (about 4 US$).

Then there are the customers that call on the general hotline, the 8am to 7pm one, just after 7pm before they are switched to the answering service and want their problem fixed right away. Then they get upset because nothing can be done as all the technicians have gone home and I will not call out the on-call.

This last weekend a large hosting provider had a total power cut and our company had some of our clients hosted there. Note that those that have servers hosted there are paying the minimum, use their own machines and manage their own servers, the centre only provides the net connections and power.
Well we had a lot of irate clients calling in saying that it was our fault that their systems were not working and one even threatening to get me fired if his systems were not back up within the next second.
You can explain until you are blue in the face that your company has nothing to do with the hosting facility, and that they get what they pay for, they still demand that they get premium service.

Can be lonely at nighte here [ohwell]
 
Posted by ARJ (Member # 157) on March 28, 2006, 21:55:
 
This didn't happen to me, but is too funny to pass up adding here. I have client horror stories, but can't remember many details since I usually try to block them out. They usually run along the lines of "Client: I accidentally deleted X. Can I get it back? Me: No."

One of our techs was working on an office relocation for a very large client of ours with a manager who is often known for sometimes making spectacular mistakes and then somehow completely not getting into any trouble for them. They were installing servers into the new fancy hi-tech server room, when one of the servers appeared to be stuck in the rack & wouldn't slide all the way back. So Not-So-Bright pushed really hard on the server to slide it into place-- well, it turns out it was stuck because a live power cable was wedged between the server and the rail. Shoving it stripped all the insulation off the power cable and sent current through the rack. Poor Tech* suddenly got a face full of sparks and hit the emergency shut down switch on the UPS. The circuit breaker flipped for the whole building and they were stuck in the server room for a while since the swipe card readers on the doors no longer operated w/o power.

* Sidebar: this particular tech guy had handed in his resignation several months earlier to go work somewhere else only to be seduced back into the fold with either more pay or some other benefits-- not sure which. Whatever it was, I hope it was really good.
 
Posted by Flashfire (Member # 2616) on March 29, 2006, 14:43:
 
Hmm...fortunately, my current job is mercifully devoid of horror stories. Except for the overtime.

This is how we usually get told we're working late:

Me (after having been up since 4 AM): Well, it's time to go, see y'all tomorrow. *walking toward door*

Boss: Can you stay till 10(PM)?

Me (dying inside): Yeah, I guess. [ohwell]
 
Posted by Rhonwyyn (Member # 2854) on April 04, 2006, 18:26:
 
ARGH!! Some people are so frustrating! Case in point:

Girl at the desk on the other side of my cubicle wall drums her fingers every time she's waiting for someone/thing or thinking. It gets really annoying 'cause it's just nervous fidgeting. I've never said anything to her about it, though. Just minded my own business.

Ten minutes ago, my thumbnail was giving me trouble, so I pulled out my nail clippers to trim it down, then file off the offending edges. Drumming fingers girl rolls around the corner of my cubicle wall and asks me to stop doing that. "You shouldn't be trimming your nails at work. It's gross. You've done it before." I explained that I only trim a nail if it breaks at work, which unfortunately they do more often than I like. "You've done it here before. Just don't do it," she replies. Then rolls back to her desk.

I SO wanted to bite her head off! I know it's not exactly kosher to trim your nails at work, so what I told her was true. I only do it if I really have to, e.g., a nail breaks or I have trouble holding my pen 'cause I've unknowingly let my thumb nail grow too long. I wish she'd just mind her own business. I haven't complained about her annoyances, can't she adopt the same behavior?

Argh!
 
Posted by nerdwithnofriends (Member # 3773) on April 04, 2006, 19:13:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
ARGH!! Some people are so frustrating! Case in point:

Girl at the desk on the other side of my cubicle wall drums her fingers every time she's waiting for someone/thing or thinking. It gets really annoying 'cause it's just nervous fidgeting. I've never said anything to her about it, though. Just minded my own business.

Ten minutes ago, my thumbnail was giving me trouble, so I pulled out my nail clippers to trim it down, then file off the offending edges. Drumming fingers girl rolls around the corner of my cubicle wall and asks me to stop doing that. "You shouldn't be trimming your nails at work. It's gross. You've done it before." I explained that I only trim a nail if it breaks at work, which unfortunately they do more often than I like. "You've done it here before. Just don't do it," she replies. Then rolls back to her desk.

I SO wanted to bite her head off! I know it's not exactly kosher to trim your nails at work, so what I told her was true. I only do it if I really have to, e.g., a nail breaks or I have trouble holding my pen 'cause I've unknowingly let my thumb nail grow too long. I wish she'd just mind her own business. I haven't complained about her annoyances, can't she adopt the same behavior?

Argh!

Cubicle war!!!

Seriously, put some thumbtacks on her chair or something. Maybe look at some pr0n on her computer while she's away? Go all out; there is no room in this world for people who are (needlessly) jerks.
 
Posted by magefile (Member # 2918) on April 04, 2006, 19:48:
 
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
Maybe look at some pr0n on her computer while she's away? Go all out; there is no room in this world for people who are (needlessly) jerks.

If you really want to go out, I believe there were some pretty odd pr0n links in a recent thread ...
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on April 04, 2006, 22:58:
 
Rhonny

I missed out on the April fools thread, but here is a fun one I have had great fun with.

Slowly pour a litre of water onto the cushion of her office chair, the cushion will act like a big ol' sponge until she sits her pompus ass on it. Pretty much a harmless gag but she will no doubt be very pissed off/humiliated.

Another method I picked up back in the army takes some time, kind of like chinese water torture. Create small annoyances for her, over time her blood will boil until she reaches the breaking point. You could get very creative with this and I find it very theraputic. Leave her phone messages to people/places that have never called her. Call a few travel agents and request that some info be faxed give them her phone number. Set her IE some page to something horrible. Hide stuff....she goes to the bathroom, you walk into her cube grab a personal item and dispose of it...she won't notice 'til later. Unplug her network cable. Break a tooth pick off in the door lock of her car. A banana in the tail pipe is a classic touch also. Crank down the brightness on her monitor. Change the 'm' and the 'n' key caps on her keyboard. Eat her lunch. Carry change around so you can call her work/home number from random pay phones....say nothing. Stay late and eat chips/crackers over her keyboard. Chew on the ends of all of her pens. Put greasy finger prints on her monitor. You know her best and what really annoys her. Never try the same gag twice though or risk getting caught. Be patient and random in your acts....when her blood is really boiling, start clipping your nails in the next cube. Revenge is a dish best served cold.......Muahahahaha
 
Posted by Rhonwyyn (Member # 2854) on April 04, 2006, 23:03:
 
Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone, but I'm not the type to get revenge. I vented, you guys listened, and now I feel better. It would put my job in jeopardy if I did anything like what y'all have suggested.

However, all is not lost. I will remember those ideas for if ever I meet y'all! [Wink]
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on April 04, 2006, 23:22:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:

However, all is not lost. I will remember those ideas for if ever I meet y'all! [Wink]

How do you know you haven't? Maybe I planted that finger tapping beyotch in the next cube....Muahahahahahha
 
Posted by Rhonwyyn (Member # 2854) on April 05, 2006, 00:46:
 
Well, if you have that kind of power, put me in a place where I earn double what I make now?!
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on April 05, 2006, 08:46:
 
Do you have an aversion to 'pole dancing'?
 
Posted by Mac D (Member # 2926) on April 05, 2006, 10:28:
 
"This job would be great if it wasn't for the f-ing customers"

With that said, I work in customer support/sales for a company that makes wide format printers. Here is a conversation that took place a couple days ago.

Customer: I want to order UV ink for my printer
Me: What kind of printer do you have?
Customer: Series XII (This is a thermal inkjet printer)
Me: We don't make UV inks for that printer.
Customer: I just saw them on the website.
Me: We have UV inks for the UVX and UVR printers
Customer: Well can I use them in my printer?
Me: No, The series XII uses different print heads and profilers and will not work in your printer.
Customer: What if I got different printheads.
Me: They won't fit in your printer.
Customer: Do you have an upgrade for UV inks?
Me: No, The series XII is almost 10 years old. We do have a pigmented ink for that printer for outdoor applications.
Customer: What about 3rd party inks?
Me: The RIP will never work with those. Not to mention profilers won't work with the printer.

(Note: This went on for about 35 minutes)

He eventually purchased the pigmented inks.

A very good thing about working for this company is I get to print out just about anything I want in any size I want (Within reson) I have a poster of Dogs playing poker taking up almost an entire wall (11'x8') My 2 year old loves it. He calls it puppies with cards.
 
Posted by Jace Raven (Member # 2444) on April 05, 2006, 11:09:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
quote:
Originally posted by Jace Raven:

I asked, "Whats wrong with it?"
he said, "I dont like it"
"what about it do you not like"
"I dont know, I just dont like it"
"Can you find everything you need?"
"Yes, I just dont like it"
"Is there anything missing"
"No, I just dont like it"
"Tough Shit"
*Hang up phone*

I had a conversation very similar to that with my advisor about three weeks ago when I was putting together figures for a talk and a paper. Except we were face to face, and I was nowhere near as ballsy.

But if you really want to talk about dealing with idiots, back in my TA days I had a student light the gas as it came out of the valve, no bunsen burner attached. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a ribbon of fire go shooting across the kid's bench and into the aisle. This got my attention so I turned around and he goes "I don't get how this is suposed to work," as he opens the valve and lihgts up another jet of gas. If the back pressure on the gas lines weren't so high the whole building would have exploded. The kicker is this: he was watching me, right up front and center, when I demonstrated how to connect and light a burner. I ran through it about five times. He was even there when I told the class that I'd already set up a bunsen burner on every bench. I'd even come in early to make sure the burners were all set up properly so there wouldn't be any incidents with flames shooting out the sides or up to the ceiling. All the kids needed to do was open the gas valve and light up. But apparently he still missed the parts about "it's all set up" and "you need to connect the hose to the valve".

Then there the girl who handed over her test, left the room, and then came running back in wanting to change an answer. She actually got pissed at me when I refused. [Roll Eyes]

LMAO! I did this same thing, Xan, when I was in my High School AP Chem. though mine was intentional. Pretty much went like this:

Me (stoned): There's more than enough presure to keep the flame out of the pipes.
Brian (also stoned): There's no possible way, you're gonna blow us all up
Me: That's a risk I'm willing to take
Brian: Holy F*ck! You're serious aren't you!?
Me: *grin* *laugh* *grin*
*strike* *strike* *REALLY LARGE FLAME SHOOTS ACROSS THE TABLE*
Brian: Holy Dog Nuts! *turns off gas*
Mrs. Wood: OMG! What are you doing?!
Me: Testing some of my calculations...?
Wood: What calculations.
Me: I said that there was more than enough presure to keep the flame out of the pipes, Brian didn't think so. There is...

I actually ended up getting suspended for it. The VP thought it was really funny and the fact that he didn't really like Mrs. Wood helped keep me in that school for the rest of the year.

Oddly enough, I went back in to visit after I got out of boot camp and she said that I was one of the best students that she has ever had. She was the coolest Chem teacher that I ever had. She pretty much let us have free reign whenever we had labs.
 
Posted by magefile (Member # 2918) on April 05, 2006, 11:37:
 
I had an experience like that in high school. But the instigator ... he was sober. And he was the teacher, too - one of my more interesting classes (cue image of a 50 year old man in a gas mask lighting a crucible, then jumping behind a mound of dirt and yelling "fire in the hole").
 
Posted by Xanthine (Member # 736) on April 06, 2006, 07:55:
 
I'm pretty sure the kid in my class was sober. Spaced out, but sober. My stoners never caused me any trouble at all. Gas valve boy depeneded on his lab partner pretty heavily for the rest of the term. He was good at the course work, not so hot in the lab. Lab work can be weird like that.

I shouldn't talk. In organic lab I broke a flask while a reaction was going, and one of the reactants had the fun property of inducing nausea. I almost hurt myself AND the TA. I also accidently lit a sodium fire in a waste jar (it was contained!!!) and at the very end of the year I knocked over a broke the liquid waste jar. This was after someone had dumped somethign that made the jar start smoking. Fortunately, it happened in the fume hood...

Then there was the whole sulfuric acid incident. I didn't get the TAs involved in that one but yeah, that wasn't too pretty.

I may have thought about lighting a gas valve, but I never did. With my luck I would blow something up.
 
Posted by Swiss Mercenary (Member # 330) on April 07, 2006, 02:33:
 
Hehe, reminds me of one of our Chem teachers in school, basically at the beginning of every school year he would show the Chem first timers all the 'do nots' by examples, now that was fun.
 


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