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Posted by Erbo (Member # 199) on April 27, 2009, 20:13:
Okay! Now that we've got all the lightweights out of the way, let's get to some dancing! But, shocker! Melissa did not descend the stairs with Tony! Turns out she suffered a hairline rib fracture...we'll get to her story later. But we've got some great acts up first!

Gilles and Cheryl are feeling the pressure of the competition...and Gilles' shoulder is acting up again! A visit to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and a shot of cortisone later, he's ready to go again. "I can do it!" he vows, even if he's having trouble with the lifts in practice. They did the Lindy hop, to "Go Daddy Go," and the dance, like last week's, seemed rushed and frenzied to us...this dance isn't like Gilles at all, and we wonder if he might have peaked. But it did have a cute, funny ending. "The French are now famous for the Lindy hop!" said Len. "Happy days are here again!" said Bruno, who praised Gilles' versatility and sense of comedy. "This is a new side of Gilles!" said Carrie-Ann, agreeing with Bruno and telling Gilles not to worry. Hmm, maybe we were too harsh on him.
Scores: CAI 9, LG 9, BT 9, Total 27

After last week, Lil'Kim and Derek are looking to re-establish her as "the sassy queen bee." Kim loves the rhythm dances, shaking the hips...but they're doing the paso doble this week, and that ain't it! Instead, it's a strong, passionate, expressive dance, and she's putting ALL her personality into it! Fortunately, she got good music for her paso, "El gato montes," and she obeyed the command, "Show me your...paso doble!" She came out strong, in a routine that gave Sabrina chills! Personally, I haven't seen a paso like that since John and Charlotte in Season 1! "THE BITCH IS BACK!" crowed Bruno, who noted that it was a classic, classy paso, full of energy. (Upcoming fist pump alert!) Carrie-Ann said the paso was a great showcase for her, to show how far she'd come. Len noted that she came out with fire and passion: "I expected 'oh no,' but I got 'ole!'" Kim kissed each judge before she headed offstage...
Scores: CAI 9, LG 9, BT 10, Total 28

Chuck and Julianne are looking for a repeat performance of last week...and the cha-cha-cha will offer plenty of opportunity for that, with hip action and flirtation. They have kind of a flirty, goofy, crazy relationship, and want to make use of it...and they're gonna be going fast! "Gilles, watch out, baby!" vows Chuck. And, when they started the dance...Oh, my God, where did THAT Chuck come from? He was shaking that fanny for all he was worth, and put on a very strong performance! "You are in the game!" said Carrie-Ann, who told him he needs to watch his chin. Len praised his improvement, admired his hip action, but told him to work on his arms. Bruno echoed that assessment of his arms, but said "Great bum action!"
Scores: CAI 9, LG 9, BT 8, Total 26

Shawn and Mark scored their first "10" last week (with a Bruno fist-pump!), and what Shawn wants this week is another 10! The bounce and rhythm of the samba might just provide her with the opportunity! However, Shawn has trouble with Mark demonstrating the "feminine" moves of the he brings in Mom to help! That would be Shirley Ballas, three-time world Latin dance champion! Shawn and Shirley get the moves down and engage in a little female bonding! The samba, to "Get Down On It" (damn, this music choice is a klunker!), was enjoyable to watch. She was workin' it! They finished big, too! Len felt it lacked hip action and had too many promenades...OK, but not their best. Bruno praised the effortless and carefree nature of the dance, saying, "You're not Lady Gaga yet, give you time, you'll grow into it!" Carrie-Ann looked for great technique and performance, and she found it; in addition, she noted that Shawn was getting that sexy thing going. (Can we call Chris Hansen in on her?)
Scores: CAI 10, LG 8, BT 9, Total 27

(Continued in next post)
Posted by Erbo (Member # 199) on April 27, 2009, 21:00:
(Continued from previous post)

With last week's performance, Melissa and Tony feel the pressure to stay on top...and they plan to bring it, with the jumps, kicks, and fast moves of the jive! Tony's choreography is really pushing the limits...and Melissa's rib injury from last week is starting to pain her again! She heads to the doctor, who tells her she has a hairline fracture of the ribs, and she has to miss some practice, which has her really nervous! Unfortunately, she and Tony were only able to complete one run-through of the dance at rehearsals earlier today before she started hurting too the judges are forced to score them based on that videotaped rehearsal, much like they had to do for Steve-O when he hurt his back. Even in the rehearsal, she seemed to be in pain, which was throwing her off...and she stalled out in a couple parts of the routine. Not good, not good. All three judges lamented that they had to judge based on an early rehearsal; Bruno noted that the kicks weren't there, both Carrie-Ann and Len noted that they were just "marking it out," and Len said the arms were too soft and the kicks weren't strong.
Scores: CAI 7, LG 7, BT 7, Total 21

"Let's show 'em!" say Ty and Chelsie. They're doing the salsa this week, which involves lots of hip and body action, and Chelsie wisely brings in Dmitry to help show Ty the moves he needs. But there's one more thing Ty needs...he's just too damn WHITE! Into the booth for a spray-on tan! "I'm WAY outside my comfort zone!" he says. The salsa, to "Vehicle," had Sabrina saying "DAMN!" and "Where did THIS come from?" Chelsie might have been doing most of the moving, but he sold a lift move in mid-dance quite well, and they finished big! "I love it! I never know what to expect from you!" said Carrie-Ann, who noted that his upper-body strength compensated for other things. Len said that he'd managed to hold on for eight weeks so far..."but, if you don't perform in the group tango, I'm afraid you'll have to hit the trail." "Maybe it was the spray tan," said Bruno, "but you went wild! You were using her like a lasso!"
Scores: CAI 9, LG 7, BT 8, Total 24

Now, our couples divide up for team dance routines! Team Mambo consists of Shawn and Mark, Chuck and Julianne, and Melissa and Tony. (Melissa won't be able to make it due to her injury; she will be replaced by Lacey Schwimmer, and Lacey and Tony will not be scored by the judges.) Team Tango consists of Lil'Kim and Derek, Gilles and Cheryl, and Ty and Chelsie. They will perform group dances, and the judges will score each group as a whole; the group score will then be added to each couple's individual score for the week. (Melissa will share in the scores of her group.) All clear?

Then get set for Team Mambo, who planned to show off all their strengths...Melissa and Tony with the fun, Shawn and Mark with the technique, and Chuck and Julianne with the chemistry. Chuck and Julianne, though, were still working out their solo routine during the last group rehearsal on Friday, so they were a bit worried. The mambo was set to "Single Ladies (Put A Ring on It)," and started with a short intro of all three couples before going to each couple's solo routine. Lacey and Tony were looking good; too bad they weren't being scored! Shawn definitely had it going on in her routine, but may have been just a tad slow. Chuck got in some great leg action, and showed how well he and Julianne work together. And then, in the finale, the ladies lost the skirts of their costumes...and the gents dropped their pants, revealing leotards and white tights, and danced atop the judges' table! What a freakin' finish! Len thought it was fun, entertaining, and very tight, and the solos had rhythm. "Something stood out tonight!" noted the ever-irrepressible Bruno, who liked the way the men stepped up. Carrie-Ann thought the ending, while fun, was a little distracting (no, really?), and that the music overpowered them.
Scores: CAI 8, LG 8, BT 9, Total 25

"As long as I don't go first, we're good!" notes Ty, part of Team Tango. Ty certainly appreciated having a male dancer on hand to let him know how it looked. The pressure is on for them...but Kim and Derek were the slowpokes in getting their solo routine together. Ty cracks, "They're a bunch of sissies; they're goin' DOWN!" Their music is "Womanizer," but it's Kim that starts out as the "man-izer," being escorted off the judges' table by shirtless Gilles and Ty (woah!) before joining Derek for her tango, which was crisp and on the ball, except for maybe one little slip. Enter Ty and Chelsie...and Ty is definitely ready to do biz! "Oh my GOD!" said Sabrina. "This is not normal for him!" Then Gilles and Cheryl took over, and, well, we already know he can do this...he's on, as you might expect. Then all three couples came out at the end...and they were in dead-bang perfect unison, like the Superfriends of dance! "DAMN!" was the verdict here. "You were like a pack of voracious animals!" said Bruno. "The end sequence gave me goosebumps!" Carrie-Ann was clear in her verdict: "Team Tango takes it! This is about teamwork! That ending was flawless!" Len was more serious in his criticism: "Kim, you had that little goof; Gilles, your footwork was atrocious...Ty, remember how I said you needed to come out and perform? You NAILED IT!" Something tells me this dance will be the "judges' encore" tomorrow night. Good!
Scores: CAI 9, LG 9, BT 10, Total 28

After this week, Lil'Kim and Derek are atop the leaderboard, with a combined score of 56; Melissa and Tony are trailing with a combined score of 46. Will the missed performance hurt Melissa? Will it be time for Ty's last roundup? Or will we get a surprise? Tomorrow night, we find out!

Posted by Erbo (Member # 199) on April 27, 2009, 22:06:
And now another one of my analyses of the positions of the dancers...

Lil'Kim owns the top of the competition now. Number One with a bullet! She really deserved trip 10's tonight, though she didn't get them. When she's on like she was tonight, no one can touch her.

Shawn maintains a strong, consistent second or third place, I think. If Kim suddenly falls into disarray, she has a shot.

Gilles has really slipped now for three weeks running. I wonder if he's plateaued and is now coasting on his early record.

Melissa is still a strong competitor, even though this week she caught the tough break of an injury. I predict she'll get a massive sympathy vote from the viewers and stay in the competition, and come back strong next week...unless her rib injury is more severe than we think, and she's forced to withdraw.

Chuck is easily the stronger of the "bottom two" guys in the competition, but he's still trailing the top four. If by some miracle Ty doesn't go home tomorrow, Chuck will.

Ty has really improved over the course of the competition, and is a really great guy, but, sadly, someone has to go home, and I think he's it this week. If he stays in, it'll be on the strength of the votes of bull-riding fans.
Posted by Erbo (Member # 199) on April 28, 2009, 21:13:
Tonight, Tom promises the "most dramatic elimination" on the show...but first, the judges' encore dance! No surprise here, it's Team Tango's group tango, which is even better than last night, if at all possible! Then let's recap!

- Melissa has to be judged by a rehearsal tape!
- Chuck's cha-cha-cha gets his hips running!
- Ty salsas, but is it time for him to hit the trail?
- Shawn gets a fair cop in the assessment of her samba!
- Gilles Lindy-hops his way back into the high scores!
- Show me your...paso doble, Kim! Feel the rhythm!
- Team Mambo: The boys drop trou and stand out!
- Team Tango: Fabulous, and worthy of a Bruno fist-pump!

Then they start in with "celebrity endorsements"...beginning with "Ballroom Dancers of Genius," a parody of the Miller beer "Real Men of Genius" ads. Okay...that was slightly funny.

Robin Thicke is this week's musical guest, and he performs "When I Get You Alone" as Alec, Edyta, Cheryl, Tony, Kym, and Dmitry dance to it. You know...he totally ripped off Walter Murphy's "A Fifth of Beethoven" from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. And Edyta lost an earring on the dance floor, which Tom promised to put up on eBay or something. [Smile] Then Samantha wastes some time...with Melissa, who's recovering from her rib injury, and is well enough to give Lil'Kim a high-five!

Now, to business! Safe couple #1...Lil'Kim and Derek! Aw, yeah, Lil'Kim and Lil'Bro, in da hizzouse!

The judges now get to do a puff-piece on "Building the Perfect Dance Celebrity"...which was fairly creepy. And safe couple #2 is...Ty and Chelsie! Woah! Ride 'em, cowboy! YEEEEE-HAAAAAA!!! The fans saved him from falling off! (Take that, Len!)

And another "celebrity endorsement"...a fake ad for "Dance Match," featuring Melissa, Chuck, and Julianne, in a parody of's ads. Oh Gawd. What the frak is this crap, Saturday Night Live? Next, Robin Thicke is singing "Sidestep" as Pasha Kovalev and Anya Garnis in kind of a cha-cha-cha...but we barely got to see them, as the camera seemed to stay stuck on Thicke's backup dancers.

After one more Samantha time-waster, we find out that Safe Couple #3 is...Gilles and Cheryl! That means all of Team Tango is safe! Following this, another fake ad, this one a parody of the PETA "I'd rather go naked" ads. Um, guys, I think we're hitting bottom here...and digging.

Now back to our pro dancer competition! The dancers surviving last week are Genya, Afton, Mayo, and Anna, and this week, one more will be eliminated!

Genya and Afton are doing the quickstep, but Genya has a problem...he hasn't done ballroom steps in a very long time! No problem; Afton is versatile, and she can teach him! Afton is good! (No surprise...her sister Ashly was also good!) She also likes to improvise, and, with her help, Genya can step it up! What can I say about their quickstep, other than it looked VERY good? Maybe a bit of judge pandering at first...but Genya kept up well! Len thought it was fast and entertaining, with lots of energy. Bruno enjoyed the beautiful characterization, the steps that are all in range, and the personality. Carrie-Ann was worried about Genya, but noted that "Afton really brought it out!"

The first thing you notice about Mayo and Anna is that they're tall. This worked for them in the waltz, but how will they handle the jive? They certainly are getting their sexy moves trained up! The jive, to "Wild Child," looked like it was a little slow to start for Mayo, but it turned into a very athletic routine! Sabrina, though, couldn't get over how skinny they looked. "What a shift!" exclaimed Carrie-Ann, who noted that that jive couldn't have been easy for the 6-foot-3 Mayo. "I thought you might have trouble with the jive," said Len, "but I've been wrong before! Well done!" "Mayo," said Bruno, "that was so sharp, it cuts! Anna, is there anything you can't do? You dance like an angel!"

Okay, our Safe Couple #4 is...Shawn and Mark! She'll get another chance to get her sexy on next week! That means the last two are Chuck and Julianne, and Melissa and Tony. Carrie-Ann says, "I don't want to lose anybody...Chuck has really found his stride!" "Lose Melissa?" says Bruno. "Are you NUTS? She's one of the best dancers we've ever had!" Len sums it up: Judging just by last night, Melissa should go...but, judging by the entire competition, Chuck should go.

And the couple that goes home this week is...Chuck and Julianne! Looks like this couple will have to carry on their relationship somewhere other than the ballroom floor from now on!

Meanwhile, Melissa and Tony ride a massive sympathy vote to stay in the competition...but is Melissa taking too many chances with her health by dancing despite the cracked rib? Sabrina sure thinks so...

For his part, Chuck is gracious, acknowledging that the team dance may have done him in, while admiring Melissa's fans for keeping her in the running. "To all my critics," he says, "we did it, and we're still together!" He, though, will be headed back out on tour.

Next week, it's two, two, two times the action, as each couple has to dance one ballroom and one Latin dance! Can Melissa hold up under the pressure? Can Ty keep up the good work? Can Lil'Kim hang onto the top spot, or will Gilles or Shawn dethrone the queen bee? Tune in next week, dancemasters! Until then, feel the rhythm run through ya, it's the spirit of funk, hallelujah!

Posted by Erbo (Member # 199) on May 01, 2009, 10:53:
News from Woz's Facebook-master, Joe Patane...

If you miss The Woz hoofin' it out on the floor, tune in on May 18 & 19, because he'll be back with Karina to strut his stuff in the season finale! Meantime, you can see all the Woz performances here on WozTV.

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