This is topic Aye Aye Aye, Things can't be simple eh? in forum Girls, Girls, Girls! at The Geek Culture Forums.


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Posted by alfrin (Member # 3836) on November 18, 2005, 21:23:
 
As you might remember my previous thread a while back talking about my relationship problems with Sara.
Well I moved on quickly (in typical teenage love fashion) and moved on to a girl more "suited" for me. Well my new love happens to know Sara. They're friends (but most of my gf's knew each other [Roll Eyes] )

Well a month ago Sara messaged me saying she gave up on ignoring me. So I was like, whatever, just friends. Well she wants much more than that. In fact she's declared her "undying love" for me. I have no feelings for this chick anymore. She's well aware of that but she refuses to give up. Even after numerous attemps at "staying friends" she's slipped, using her emotional self to try to get attention out of me.

I've had enough, and last night for the first time ever I blew. I told her that, basically, there was no way in hell we'd ever be together. She didn't care because she refused to give up.

How do I make her go away (that won't send me to prison?)

[Frown]
 
Posted by Too Cool To Quit (Member # 2217) on November 18, 2005, 21:34:
 
Write her a letter expressing how you don't want to hear from her again, and send it High Priority Mail through the USPS and ask to have a receipt of delivery, with a signature on it saying that someone at her household received it.

If she continues to try to make contact with you, press charges for harrasment.

If she tries to say you never told her to leave you alone you have undeniable proof in court.

How do I know this? Experience.
 
Posted by FireSnake (Member # 1181) on November 18, 2005, 21:57:
 
Alfrin, how old are you? You say teenage love... maybe you can just tell your parents what is going on and ask them to talk to her parents about it. If the behavior persists, then you will want to take some kind of legal action, and you are going to need to involve them anyway.
 
Posted by alfrin (Member # 3836) on November 18, 2005, 22:06:
 
I am about 14 1/2. I've learned from previous experiences that my parents take nothing of what I speak as serious, and from my experiences with this chick her parents are assholes too. So my only (reasonable, didn't say good) solution to this problem was the "make her hate you" method. It has seemed to work, all my mind games I've perfected over the past year have finally paid off. Not that I'm in anyway proud of acting this way. (EDIT: She still doesn't hate me, or stopped "loving" me, but she's laying off at the moment)
 
Posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace (Member # 4586) on November 18, 2005, 22:53:
 
I'd say legal action is a bit too much considering how young they are.

I say quit the mind games and ignore her as much as you can. The more you play the game, the more involved you stay in the situation, and as long as you are involved to a certain degree, she won't have any incentive to stop. I know how obsessive and emotional I was at 14, so I can tell you that she doesn't know better (and for those of us who are adults, we should try to understand that few are born with self-containment, and that discipline and empathy tend to be acquired skills). If she's not mentally ill, I can assure you that she will stop as soon as she finds someone else to obsess over. In the meanwhile, don't give her any fodder, avoid her, block her, don't take her calls, because if she has nothing to cling on to and feed her obsession on, she'll give up. Time and distance are the best healers. And I can assure you that while I was positively, madly infatuated with someone about 11 years ago, when I was your age, I can barely recall his face now (actually, I barely did after only a year). So don't worry, she won't haunt you forever [Wink]
 
Posted by FireSnake (Member # 1181) on November 19, 2005, 02:58:
 
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
I've learned from previous experiences that my parents take nothing of what I speak as serious, and from my experiences with this chick her parents are assholes too.

I know people have different family situations, but if my son were having this problem, I'd like for him to at least talk to me about it.


quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:
I'd say legal action is a bit too much considering how young they are.

If she is disregarding his requests that she leave him alone and the situation is brought to the attention of her parents, and they don't correct the behavior, what other recourse does he have? She's harrassing him. It's not acceptable behavior. He shouldn't have to tolerate it and try to ignore it. She knows better. People start learning in preschool that if another little kid doesn't want to play with you, you are supposed to leave them alone. And she's not 4, she's 14. Crying in her room is acceptable. Bursting into tears at the sight of Alfrin and fleeing the school cafeteria in embarrassment is acceptable. Stalking and harrassment are not.

Sex charges shake school
I wonder how many people told that girl to just ignore it.
 
Posted by alfrin (Member # 3836) on November 19, 2005, 11:20:
 
quote:
Originally posted by FireSnake:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
I've learned from previous experiences that my parents take nothing of what I speak as serious, and from my experiences with this chick her parents are assholes too.

I know people have different family situations, but if my son were having this problem, I'd like for him to at least talk to me about it.

My parents and I don't have that sort of a relationship sadly, they'd rather never let me have a social life keeping me at home on weekends doing house work. But that's a different storyproblem
quote:


quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:
I'd say legal action is a bit too much considering how young they are.

If she is disregarding his requests that she leave him alone and the situation is brought to the attention of her parents, and they don't correct the behavior, what other recourse does he have? She's harrassing him. It's not acceptable behavior. He shouldn't have to tolerate it and try to ignore it. She knows better. People start learning in preschool that if another little kid doesn't want to play with you, you are supposed to leave them alone. And she's not 4, she's 14. Crying in her room is acceptable. Bursting into tears at the sight of Alfrin and fleeing the school cafeteria in embarrassment is acceptable. Stalking and harrassment are not.

Sex charges shake school
I wonder how many people told that girl to just ignore it.

Yes, but I too agree legal action could have negative side effects in said situation. If you recall I said my current girlfriend has a pretty good friendship with her, if I call the cops she'll think I've flipped the boat. If I tell Sara to fsck off she'll be a bit pissed. That's why I stuck to trying to convince this girl to hate me. It's been about a night since she's bugged me last, though within a day she'll be back to reconcile, this time there shall be no reconciliation. Any advice on how to make that clear to her?
 
Posted by Wick (Member # 4608) on November 19, 2005, 11:53:
 
*clenches fist* I knew a girl named Sara...she was so sweet...she took my heart and...oh sorry bad memories. Seriously man just ignore the girl. Tell her you are not interested, no need to yell or call her names. Most of the time girls just want some attention. Once you ignore her for awhile she will quit harrassing you. Unless she is crazy...then she may kill you.
 
Posted by nerdwithnofriends (Member # 3773) on November 19, 2005, 12:19:
 
Ignore her? Screw that. I've got the solution for you here in one word:


Threesome.
 
Posted by alfrin (Member # 3836) on November 19, 2005, 12:22:
 
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
Ignore her? Screw that. I've got the solution for you here in one word:


Threesome.

Um, with her, screw that.
One Word:
Herpes (her, not me)


Yes I know ignoring her is the way to go, but it's not something I like to do, just wait, her threatening to kill herself is just around the corner.

Maybe she is crazy, I'll start wearing Kevlar.
 
Posted by nerdwithnofriends (Member # 3773) on November 19, 2005, 12:49:
 
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
Ignore her? Screw that. I've got the solution for you here in one word:


Threesome.

Um, with her, screw that.
One Word:
Herpes (her, not me)

Ewwwww!
 
Posted by YaYawoman (Member # 4505) on November 20, 2005, 05:52:
 
Maybe there is a teacher or an advisor at school you can talk to? It is always a good idea when you are being stalked or harrassed to go to someone with your problem. Trust me on that one.
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on November 20, 2005, 08:26:
 
Except for the herpes bit, I have a hard time finding sympathy for you, man. [Razz] You have girls fighting over her - a tad better than I had it when I was in high school. [Wink]
 
Posted by alfrin (Member # 3836) on November 20, 2005, 14:23:
 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
Except for the herpes bit, I have a hard time finding sympathy for you, man. [Razz] You have girls fighting over her - a tad better than I had it when I was in high school. [Wink]

Yep, I'm just a chick magnet, at least crazy ones.
Well it seems she has given up. Luckily for me she doesn't actually goto my school (well, neither does my girlfriend) so I won't have that sort of problem. I just hope she doesn't try again.
 
Posted by yolospat (Member # 4734) on December 09, 2005, 22:35:
 
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
How do I make her go away (that won't send me to prison?)

Easy. Restraining Order. Heh.
 
Posted by dp004i (Member # 1177) on December 09, 2005, 23:20:
 
quote:


How do I make her go away (that won't send me to prison?)
[Frown] [/QB]

Aren't you that dude who seems to take song lyrics way too seriously? In that case, listen to Deliverance by Opeth, that should solve your problem once and for all [Wink]
 


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