This is topic To give or not to give in forum Girls, Girls, Girls! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by FatGnome (Member # 1068) on November 02, 2004, 17:49:
 
So, there is this girl... duh.

Anyway was here to solicite some help ladies. She is a Chem geek and am a business/MIS geek. So she is smart. She has a beautiful smile. She talks to me(not really rare but she initiates at times). She likes to do theater stuff as an actress, I love running sound and lights (that is how I met her originaly), she is 3 years behind me in school.

Now I am one of those helpless guys who is moderatly good looking yet doesn't have the stones to ask anyone out (oh yeah if that isn't creepy enough I am a senior at University)Anyway, the perfect progresion would be coffee followed (if it goes well) with an invitation to go to the homecoming banquit (I go to a conservative religious university so we do that instead of a dance.)

Well just wondering do I give her a call or ask her face to face? Treading on unfamiliar gound here so advice from out lady friends around would be great.
 
Posted by chick2geek (Member # 3052) on November 02, 2004, 18:56:
 
quote:

Well just wondering do I give her a call or ask her face to face? Treading on unfamiliar gound here so advice from out lady friends around would be great.

Well Gnome...
This is a tricky thing. You see, all girls are different... and unfortunately... you never know which one you have. Some girls like a guy who has enough "BAWLS" to call them up and ask them out. Other girls get "weird" and freak when you ask them out... and then they avoid you and your phone calls... and then you lose the friendship too. So, you need to ask yourself... are you asking her out in hopes of establishing more than just a friendship in the future... or are you asking her out as a friend. Once you establish that, you need to know her well enough to know if that would freak her out. If she might get scared... then tell her you want to go out... or take her to the dance... so you two as BEST friends can hang. Who knows, she might see you for more than a friend that night... and want more herself. Let me know how it goes. I hope this helps even a smidge.
 -
 
Posted by CommanderShroom (Member # 2097) on November 03, 2004, 05:38:
 
Do you ever talk/hang out with her outside of school?

If you don't, try to get her to meet you and some mutual aquaintances out somewhere. And work from there. Just take it calm and easy. Amd remember, nothing ventured nothing gained.
 
Posted by spungo (Member # 1089) on November 03, 2004, 05:42:
 
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
Amd remember, nothing ventured nothing gained.

I prefer - "Fishing for a good time starts with throwing in your line." </Tom Waits>

...not that I would want to make any subliminal marine-odour connotations... [Wink]
 
Posted by CommanderShroom (Member # 2097) on November 03, 2004, 06:03:
 
And..

<TomWaits>You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops.</TomWaits>

or he could just say

<MoreTomWaits>And I'll be your Dick, honey, if you'll just be my Jane</MoreTomWaits>
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 03, 2004, 12:30:
 
<WWCVD>
Show up naked, with beer.
</WWCVD>
 
Posted by Stereo (Member # 748) on November 03, 2004, 12:47:
 
C'mon, TFD, FatGnome is looking to impress a girl, so it should be:

Show up dressed-up (e.g.: in tails), with champagne! [Wink] [Big Grin]

OK, vodka-based cooler can do if champagne's too costly an option. She will get drunk just the same. [evil]

(I was about to add something about her getting to bed more easily once drunk, but it's too dangerous for one's sanity to utter such a thing here. [crazy] )
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on November 03, 2004, 12:56:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
<WWCVD>
Show up naked, with beer.
</WWCVD>

Or if it is a special occasion, show up with beer, naked....wearing a single tube sock [Wink]
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on November 03, 2004, 13:02:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
<WWCVD>
Show up naked, with beer.
</WWCVD>

Replace beer with flowers and/or jewelry and that might have a chance.

...unless her parents are over. [Razz]
 
Posted by ooby (Member # 2603) on November 03, 2004, 13:25:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Stereo:


Show up dressed-up (e.g.: in tails), with champagne! [Wink] [Big Grin]

Be sure to speak with a thick Walken accent.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 03, 2004, 21:47:
 
Missed your plane?
WWCVD ?
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on November 03, 2004, 22:53:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
Missed your plane?
WWCVD ?

Damn, my cover is blown......and I was gonna show up at your place.
 
Posted by SupportGoddess (Member # 822) on November 04, 2004, 11:49:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Or if it is a special occasion, show up with beer, naked....wearing a single tube sock [Wink]

Does it still count as naked if you are wearing a tube sock?

With the holiday season rapidly approaching (or already here, according to major retailers) I think wearing nothing but a ribbon and bow would be appropriate costuming.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 04, 2004, 11:54:
 
Stockings might be an option too.
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on November 04, 2004, 13:06:
 
quote:
Originally posted by SupportGoddess:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Or if it is a special occasion, show up with beer, naked....wearing a single tube sock [Wink]

Does it still count as naked if you are wearing a tube sock?

With the holiday season rapidly approaching (or already here, according to major retailers) I think wearing nothing but a ribbon and bow would be appropriate costuming.

You're always naked.....under your clothes.
 
Posted by FatGnome (Member # 1068) on November 04, 2004, 16:50:
 
heh heh she actualy lives with her grandparents while she is at school. We don't generaly hang out outside of common activities (ie. drama and just waiting between classes and an occasional social event)

But I like the tubesock and beer idea... Pretty sure grandma would beat me to death though.
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on November 04, 2004, 17:11:
 
quote:
Originally posted by FatGnome:
But I like the tubesock and beer idea... Pretty sure grandma would beat me to death though.

Umm, I wouldn't have phrased it like it if I were you *shudders*
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on November 04, 2004, 17:27:
 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by FatGnome:
But I like the tubesock and beer idea... Pretty sure grandma would beat me to death though.

Umm, I wouldn't have phrased it like it if I were you *shudders*
gmilfs *Ewwwwwwww*
 
Posted by chick2geek (Member # 3052) on November 04, 2004, 18:32:
 
quote:
Originally posted by SupportGoddess:
With the holiday season rapidly approaching (or already here, according to major retailers) I think wearing nothing but a ribbon and bow would be appropriate costuming.

I would think that with the holiday season... the apprapo costuming would be naked with Mistletoe hung. [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by mac*mama (Member # 3062) on November 05, 2004, 13:55:
 
I think I am the oldest person here, so, I'm going to pipe in with years of experience under my belt.

Dear Shy Guy,

The absolute BEST thing to do is be completely honest and at the risk of EVERYTHING just walk up to this girl and tell her how you feel.

Now ... don't go overboard and come off creepy, just keep it simple. something like:

"I think you're really great and I would love it if you would have coffee with me this week. Is there a day/time that would be good for you?"

This is non-threatening and if she can't make time for you, you'll know she is NOT interested and can move on without losing face.

Otherwise, she WILL accept the coffee date, during which you can find out whether she is possibly interested in you as more than a friend, too.

I suggest arranging the date in person, so you can see expression and body language.

If she seems at all "freaked" or "uncomfortable" by your attention, you can easily say, "it's no big deal, I just thought it would be nice to get to know you better, but if you're not interested that's okay. No damage."

As nice as it would be, we can't make anyone love us. But, it's also nice to KNOW if you have a chance or not.

I know you are shy and it's not going to be easy to just walk up to your crush and do this, so just practice it in your mind a few times (imagine you are someone you admire who has any easy time with the ladies), and imagine her smiling and accepting your date. Keep this picture of her in your mind when you find a good moment (she should be alone and not with other girls) to approach her.

You can do this.

Even if she rejects you, you're getting some much needed practice and it will get easier the next time.

Remember -- if she does reject you, it's not YOU it's HER. We all have things that attract us in others, and you might NOT be that. That's okay. It's no one's "fault." But everyone is someone's type, and you'll find the right girl for you, if she turns out NOT to be it.

However, you will increase the odds that you ARE her type if you approach her with self-confidence and courage and sweetness and honesty and a little humor.

In love it is best to find out as quickly as possible whether someone is REALLY interested or just accepting a date not to hurt your feelings or because they haven't learned how to say no. And, believe me, a lot of girls in their 20s don't know how to say no. So make it as easy as possible for her to get out of the date without "rejecting" you. And then don't ask again so you don't put her in the position of having to be blunt. "Maybe" or "I'm pretty busy right now" really means "I don't know how to say No without hurting your feelings."

I hope that helps.
 
Posted by Black Widow (Member # 3046) on November 05, 2004, 16:20:
 
quote:
Originally posted by mac*mama:
I think I am the oldest person here, so, I'm going to pipe in with years of experience under my belt.

I doubt seriously that you are the oldest person here. I am probably right up there with you.

But I agree with you 100%. If you really like this girl, just go up and talk to her. Liklihood is, she probably likes you too and is just as nervous to ask you out.
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on November 05, 2004, 21:12:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
I doubt seriously that you are the oldest person here. I am probably right up there with you.

We have a few members here that are older than dirt.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 05, 2004, 22:38:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
I doubt seriously that you are the oldest person here. I am probably right up there with you.

We have a few members here that are older than dirt.
Hey !
I resemble that remark !
 
Posted by FatGnome (Member # 1068) on November 06, 2004, 09:05:
 
The whole aproach in a hey you want to grab some coffee #####night was the way I was planning to do it. I really doubt that she would find it creepy.
 
Posted by Black Widow (Member # 3046) on November 06, 2004, 14:08:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
I doubt seriously that you are the oldest person here. I am probably right up there with you.

We have a few members here that are older than dirt.
Hey !
I resemble that remark !

Don't tell me we're going to need an age roll-call here!
[Big Grin]
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on November 06, 2004, 14:17:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
I doubt seriously that you are the oldest person here. I am probably right up there with you.

We have a few members here that are older than dirt.
Hey !
I resemble that remark !

Don't tell me we're going to need an age roll-call here!
[Big Grin]

It has been done, and done, and done.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 06, 2004, 14:53:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
I doubt seriously that you are the oldest person here. I am probably right up there with you.

We have a few members here that are older than dirt.
Hey !
I resemble that remark !

Don't tell me we're going to need an age roll-call here!
[Big Grin]

It has been done, and done, and done.
<crotchety-old-man-voice>
When you're as old as me, you've seen it all before ....
</crotchety-old-man-voice>
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on November 06, 2004, 15:53:
 
Hey, y'all - like A/S/L?!
 
Posted by Xanthine (Member # 736) on November 06, 2004, 15:56:
 
<tangent>
Something I've always wondered...how would a transexual answer A/S/L?
</tangent>
 
Posted by FatGnome (Member # 1068) on November 07, 2004, 17:13:
 
=-) ##/both/here
 
Posted by Black Widow (Member # 3046) on November 07, 2004, 19:37:
 
or...

##/whatever you want/here

!!
 


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