This is topic here's a situation... in forum All about Love! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


To visit this topic, use this URL:
http://www.geekculture.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=000549

Posted by Dr Watson (Member # 4307) on January 28, 2006, 20:06:
 
When I introduced myself here I mentioned that I've never dated. So that's means I lack experience in the area and had a question.

I finally saved up enough courage to ask a friend of mine, who happens to be the girl of my dreams, to my schools prom. (We've known each other for a few years through a Venture Crew.) She said she'd love to go with me without hesitation, but I did the stupid, yet safe, thing of asking if we could go as friends. So I'm wondering what my chances are of starting a steady relationship with her. Or did I screw things up by saying, "as friends?"- maybe she just wants to go for the sake of going to a prom... or maybe was too nice to turn me down. Lastly I wonder if she accepted for the sake of going with ME; I'm probably over-analizing this by far, but has anyone been in this situation?
 
Posted by CloneArmyCommander (Member # 4665) on January 28, 2006, 20:54:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
When I introduced myself here I mentioned that I've never dated. So that's means I lack experience in the area and had a question.

I finally saved up enough courage to ask a friend of mine, who happens to be the girl of my dreams, to my schools prom. (We've known each other for a few years through a Venture Crew.) She said she'd love to go with me without hesitation, but I did the stupid, yet safe, thing of asking if we could go as friends. So I'm wondering what my chances are of starting a steady relationship with her. Or did I screw things up by saying, "as friends?"- maybe she just wants to go for the sake of going to a prom... or maybe was too nice to turn me down. Lastly I wonder if she accepted for the sake of going with ME; I'm probably over-analizing this by far, but has anyone been in this situation?

Sounds like everything is going smoothly to me. The first time I went anywhere with any girl, I went as "just friends" with her to see Revenge of the Sith.

It wasn't until a few days after, when we were talking on the phone we looked back and it came up, "Was that our first date?"

I'm still with her [Wink] .

Patience [Big Grin] . Just see how things go, and if it the subject comes up of whether or not it's a date, go with it. If not, tell her how much you enjoyed being with her, remember to speak from the heart, and ask her if she wants to go some place, maybe to see a movie, or have lunch some other time.
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on January 28, 2006, 21:41:
 
I went to a dance as "just friends" with someone in high school. We talked the entire time about every subject imagineable. And when we danced the electricity was amazing. Less than a week later he was officially my boyfriend. We had a really good relationship for close to nine months. I might have married him if it weren't for his mother. Saying "just friends" for a dance doesn't ruin any chances, don't worry.
 
Posted by TheMoMan (Member # 1659) on January 29, 2006, 09:53:
 
Dr Watson______________________So you asked this young lady to a Prom, and she responded in the affirmative that she would like to go with you, if she has not contacted you to cancel then by all means take the young lady and be a gentleman and escort her accordingly. What happens after that we do not know, as it has not happened, but do go and try to curb your mouth from getting ahead of your brain.
 
Posted by MacManKrisK (Member # 955) on January 29, 2006, 11:00:
 
Listen to these people, they're smart. Also, don't try to overthink this stuff. If I've learned anything in almost 2 years of being with Stephanie it's that some things just arn't thinking things.

Love (romantic love, anyway) and logical thought don't mix, they're like oil and water. You just need to let go of the geeky urge to "think it out" and just go with the flow. If it feels right, go for it.

Edit: also... if you overthink this stuff, all you'll wind up with is a sorrowful list of missed chances, and that's the last thing you want!
 
Posted by Dr Watson (Member # 4307) on January 29, 2006, 12:32:
 
ok, thanks guys, it's very re-assuring

I agree with you, MacManKrisK, I know what you mean about the sorrowful missed opportunities, I've been good at that. I think this is an opportunity to change my ways, I'll just go with the flow. We have been chatting via email and stuff, I think things are gonna go okay. (Then watch my car die on prom night [Big Grin] [ohwell] )
 
Posted by zesovietrussian (Member # 1177) on January 29, 2006, 12:47:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
(Then watch my car die on prom night [Big Grin] [ohwell] )

Or, worse yet, we can all watch you forget to get your hands on some roofies right before the said prom [evil]
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on January 29, 2006, 13:20:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Then watch my car die on prom night

That might not be a complete failure, with a little imagination..... [evil]
 
Posted by zesovietrussian (Member # 1177) on January 29, 2006, 13:25:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Then watch my car die on prom night

That might not be a complete failure, with a little imagination..... [evil]
Especially if he follows my advice [evil]
 
Posted by CloneArmyCommander (Member # 4665) on January 29, 2006, 15:55:
 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Then watch my car die on prom night

That might not be a complete failure, with a little imagination..... [evil]
Especially if he follows my advice [evil]
[shake head] . . . .

Just listen to your heart. . . MacManKrist has the right idea, going with the flow. . . and be a gentleman.

Good luck [Big Grin] ! Let us know how things go [Big Grin] .
 
Posted by Wick (Member # 4608) on January 29, 2006, 16:47:
 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on January 29, 2006, 16:52:
 
I can unequivocally say yes. Especially when he doesn't want to disappoint his family.
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on January 29, 2006, 17:44:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...
 
Posted by Wick (Member # 4608) on January 30, 2006, 03:51:
 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

I agree 100%.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on January 30, 2006, 06:43:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
ok, thanks guys, it's very re-assuring

I agree with you, MacManKrisK, I know what you mean about the sorrowful missed opportunities, I've been good at that. I think this is an opportunity to change my ways, I'll just go with the flow. We have been chatting via email and stuff, I think things are gonna go okay. (Then watch my car die on prom night [Big Grin] [ohwell] )

-ct-? Is that you?

*grin*
 
Posted by Grey_girl (Member # 2172) on January 30, 2006, 07:30:
 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

Or the reverse could be true. A good relationship with your partner's family can keep a romantic relationship going long past when it should have ended. I know. I wound up marrying the guy. Thankfully I came to my senses and still enjoy my relationships with his family (having a child with SlugBoy helped with that).
 
Posted by TheGirlWonder (Member # 4698) on January 31, 2006, 09:39:
 
Don't worry about whether it's "a date" or "just friends", just have fun with her. [Wink] Sometimes the best (and least complicated) thing to be is just friends - at least until you're both totally sure you want to be more than that.
 
Posted by CloneArmyCommander (Member # 4665) on January 31, 2006, 09:48:
 
quote:
Originally posted by TheGirlWonder:
Don't worry about whether it's "a date" or "just friends", just have fun with her. [Wink] Sometimes the best (and least complicated) thing to be is just friends - at least until you're both totally sure you want to be more than that.

She certainly knows what she's talking about [Big Grin] . Just have fun [Wink] .
 
Posted by Democritus the Minor (Member # 2620) on January 31, 2006, 11:45:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
kee-reist, yes. hell, my first relationship was ruined by her sister... what a bitch...
 
Posted by Dr Watson (Member # 4307) on January 31, 2006, 16:27:
 
I'll bear all that in mind. Thanks again. Too bad my prom isn't gonna be 'till March lol [ohwell]
 
Posted by shane_the_god_of_my_room (Member # 4709) on February 16, 2006, 13:07:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Grey_girl:
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

Or the reverse could be true. A good relationship with your partner's family can keep a romantic relationship going long past when it should have ended. I know. I wound up marrying the guy. Thankfully I came to my senses and still enjoy my relationships with his family (having a child with SlugBoy helped with that).
WHAT!!!

tell you what my family wouldnt stop me
they'ed like it or lump it [Mad]
its your life live it how you feel you should

mind you I am 26
and I did move out at 19 [evil]
 
Posted by MandysRad (Member # 4871) on February 16, 2006, 20:06:
 
Everyone has the right idea. Just as friends is not a bad thing and in fact it is best to start all relationships just as friends. You deffinately build a more solid foundation from that.
 
Posted by Astronomer Jedi (Member # 4699) on February 17, 2006, 00:24:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Grey_girl:
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

Or the reverse could be true. A good relationship with your partner's family can keep a romantic relationship going long past when it should have ended. I know. I wound up marrying the guy. Thankfully I came to my senses and still enjoy my relationships with his family (having a child with SlugBoy helped with that).
My two cents.

My cousin's boyfriend isn't too popular amongst our family. He hardly ever talks to anyone and we all think he's slime. Before he started going out with Sarah, he had been out with several other girls in their group. It's all very incestuous, yuk. He has his checklist and plan, etc and we can all tell that he's a big manipulator. Anyway, he makes no effort whatsoever to talk to us, especially my cousin's dad. My cousin's family had a big fight over the whole matter last week because my aunty said he could stay over in my cousin's room without asking my uncle. Bad news, that was.
 
Posted by Dr Watson (Member # 4307) on March 26, 2006, 14:52:
 
Well, to conclude a story, the prom was awesome. I didn't say/ do anything stupid. (Well, other than the fact that I told her I love looking at refrigerators at Best Buy...)

At first I felt a little shot down before this. I asked her out a few times. Politely rejected. Was given reasons for each time, she said she was currently too busy for a b/f. But I figured it being a polite way of saying no. So I didn't dare ask again. But then we decided to go to my home school prom too... so maybe it's not over. Perhaps she seriously is too busy with job & school. (She's in a ton of school clubs also.) Is this a common scenario?
 
Posted by zesovietrussian (Member # 1177) on March 26, 2006, 15:56:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Is this a common scenario?

This is pretty damn uncommon, if you ask me. The common scenario would've been along the lines of "get away from me, you fridge-obsessed freak!" followed by a quick kick in the nads. [evil]
 
Posted by cheryl (Member # 4566) on March 27, 2006, 00:39:
 
maybe its not THAT uncommon, but still it is a bit bizarre. you sound as though your doing well so te best of luck. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Dr Watson (Member # 4307) on March 27, 2006, 14:11:
 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Is this a common scenario?

This is pretty damn uncommon, if you ask me. The common scenario would've been along the lines of "get away from me, you fridge-obsessed freak!" followed by a quick kick in the nads. [evil]
lmao! yea Well, since this thread is already here, I'll post if anything good happens, so till then...
 
Posted by Thorned0Fortress (Member # 4435) on March 27, 2006, 15:00:
 
I think that it is great to be "as friends" for now. That way , you don't have the stress of a first date.
Maybe at the right time you could pop a smooch, and see what happens !
 
Posted by Maggs (Member # 4682) on April 13, 2006, 16:10:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Thorned0Fortress:

Maybe at the right time you could pop a smooch, and see what happens !

Reminds me of the Smurfs, Papa Smooch [Wink]

The key is don't turn blue, whatever you do [Razz]
 
Posted by Dr Watson (Member # 4307) on April 29, 2006, 00:04:
 
Unfortunately this isn't going in a good direction. She backed out of my 2nd prom claiming the cause was a planned college visit. I actually believed that and said it was ok. But then I realize that she was definately planning to do a training program, in Venturing, with another guy. (Who I've despised for the past 8 years of my life... makes matters worse imo) This program is this weekend. And so is my prom, that I'm obviously not going to... Damn this sucks, too many times it's the same old thing- I start to really like/trust someone, and I get sand thrown in my face. Sry, not meaning to vent here, just concluding this thread. [blush] I have no idea what to say to her next time we meet lol
 
Posted by Rhonwyyn (Member # 2854) on April 29, 2006, 00:44:
 
I'd love to tell that girl she did a classless thing. She agreed to go to prom with you, I'm sure you spent money on tickets and a tux and flowers, so for her to back out at the last minute is in EXTREMELY poor taste. A lady ALWAYS keeps her word (or else has a superbly good excuse and a suggestion for how to make it up to you.)

I'd shake the dust off my sandals and move on if I were you.
 
Posted by Dr Watson (Member # 4307) on April 29, 2006, 20:08:
 
I definately agree with the moving on. Fortunately, I was told a few weeks back about the college visit, so no money lost. I didn't realize that I made it sound like I just found out, sry. I could have found another date, maybe, but as a geek guy, it's easier said than done. Sometimes you've gotta say oh well. Thanks for the advice!
 


© 2018 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0