This is topic I am a geek..so what should I do ?? in forum All about Love! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by Nice hearty boy (Member # 4668) on November 21, 2005, 05:24:
 
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 21, 2005, 06:20:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

I think the word you're looking for in your sig is narcissistic -- someone who has an unhealthy love for themselves.

Are you outgoing? Do you make an effort to initiate conversation with these girls that you have an interest in? Conversation that doesn't mention your newest gadget or anything technical?
 
Posted by YaYawoman (Member # 4505) on November 21, 2005, 07:22:
 
You really shouldn't be asking us about what improvements you need. You are going to have to dig into your own self and do it on your own. Otherwise it is just a shortcut and will only lead you down a dead end. Good luck.
 
Posted by CloneArmyCommander (Member # 4665) on November 21, 2005, 09:49:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

Be patient. I promise that is all it takes. I used to be right where you are, and I used to wonder what it was that I was doing wrong. It isn't that bad, it just means that your special some one hasn't come along yet, but she's out there looking for you.

I didn't find my first girlfriend until my first year of college. I am now in my third year, and we are closer than ever.

There are girls out there who find us geeks to be interesting and cute.

If you are asking yourself, "What do I need to change?" You are certainly going down the wrong path. If you have to change who you are in order to be with a girl, then you are with the wrong girl.

Patience [Big Grin] . Keep faith. She's out there.
 
Posted by Steen (Member # 170) on November 21, 2005, 18:14:
 
I don't have any hard evidence prove it, but I suspect terms used to sell audio equipment in the 70's might not be the best way to attract women, so you could probably try not using the term "hi-fi" quite so often.
 
Posted by alfrin (Member # 3836) on November 21, 2005, 18:48:
 
Make them laugh, don't try for the "smart" because that rarely works at that age group.
But, don't ask me, I only get obsessive girls stalking and harrasing me. I might lead you to hell. [Wink]
 
Posted by dp004i (Member # 1177) on November 21, 2005, 19:02:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

<south park>
Mr Nice hearty boy, this is GC Police. Please come out of the closet.
</south park>
 
Posted by GameMaster (Member # 1173) on November 21, 2005, 20:30:
 
To sum up everything thats been said:

Thing you can change:
- How willing you are to step outside your confortzone
- Stop using "high fidelity" to mean things it doesn't... Infact, stop using the word hi-fi all together.
- Change where you look... It may be that your "typical haunts" don't expose you to enough of the fairer sex... It could be that the members of the oppisite sex at the places you "hang in" aren't intrested in the same things you are. Try bookstores (look for girls the same place you'd find books about things your intrested... gives you a conversation starter and at least one shared intrest), cafe's with social events (poetry, music, book signings).

Things not to change:
- Who you are. Don't try to be someone your not.
- Remeber that 90% of what you say is non-verbal. It's not what you say, but how you say it. (P.S. 99.632% of all statistics are made up)

Be confident, but not arrogant. Be funny, but don't force it. Take an intrest in the people your intrested in, learn who they really are; but, be fair and share a little bit about yourself too. Keep it light, keep it fun and for petes-sake don't think so much about it (or you'll go crazy trying to cover all the "what ifs"),
 
Posted by serishema (Member # 4481) on November 21, 2005, 23:35:
 
I don't know if other girls are the same but if i see a guy I think is interesting with a PDA in hand or their nose in a laptop, I assume they're busy and won't approach.

Make sure you're acknowledging her presence but without looking like you're drooling. Try to be subtle and do it to everyone so you seem sociable. (At least in my opinion) Us girl geeks are pretty picky. After a couple of years of Computer Science and having to put up with borderline sexual harrasment you end up wary of guys. So usually i sort guys into 3 different categories; being social/friendly, asking a technical question and drooling. You want to be in the first one. Given my experiences in this realm I don't err on the side of giving the benifit of the doubt, but your milage may vary.

The point i'm trying to make is your body language probably matters *more* with geek girls than other girls, not less.

oh yeah, and if you try to act a cirtain way to impress girls they'll pick it and run a mile. Be yourself.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 22, 2005, 06:18:
 
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:

Be confident, but not arrogant. Be funny, but don't force it. Take an intrest in the people your intrested in, learn who they really are; but, be fair and share a little bit about yourself too. Keep it light, keep it fun and for petes-sake don't think so much about it (or you'll go crazy trying to cover all the "what ifs"),

Reminds me of Ocean's Eleven.

- You look down, they know you're lying -- you look up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances...
- Rusty?
- Yeah?
- Can you take a look at this for a minute?
- Sure. *leaves*
 
Posted by alfrin (Member # 3836) on November 22, 2005, 06:34:
 
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:

Things not to change:
- Who you are. Don't try to be someone your not.
- Remeber that 90% of what you say is non-verbal. It's not what you say, but how you say it. (P.S. 99.632% of all statistics are made up

Actually that isn't too far off the button (I think it's 94% or something, I'll ask again today in communications)
Seriously
If you look nervous, they won't take you seriously, same if you <i>sound</i> nervous
Body Language and Tone make up 94% of communications. You actually talking only makes up 6% of it.
I agree, drop the HiFi
 
Posted by Wick (Member # 4608) on November 22, 2005, 07:21:
 
From what I can tell girls like a sense of humor. Laughter can make anyone feel good and lighten the mood. Try using some witty humor based on the location and situation you are meeting/talking to the female. If this doesn't really come natually to you then perhaps you should avoid it since it may sound too forced and fake. Then again I overthink every situation and thus it will cause my downfall.

yeah and don't use hi-fi...that would even disturb satan.
 
Posted by Elvermere (Member # 2456) on November 22, 2005, 17:39:
 
Phew! Well done Wick. I'm glad someone mentioned humour.

Humour is the primary display of your personality at work. Women (actually people) are looking for someone who makes them feel good - at least initially. So being able to use humour is an absolute must. If you need any more convincing, how many times do you see "GSOH" in personal ads.

<aside>
Having said that though, I don't believe that "long walks along beaches" is necessary to commence a relationship
</aside>

And when I say humour, it is not about cracking jokes. It's about being able to find humour in common place things that your potential partner understands and also finds humourus. My wife and I knew we were destined to be together when she realised that all she had to do is quote a Garfield comic and I can complete the next couple of frames.

Now I've finished that bit there are other things you can try - in no particular order

* Change social circles - This may not mean trying something new, but simply change clubs, try a different library. I find that people that you have been around for a while tend to pigeon hole you into "not bf material" and no matter how you mature/grow/change it will remain that way. But please DO NOT CHANGE THAT WHICH MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE!

* Be willing to acknowledge differences - So they are not a geek. You don't HAVE to find a geek. In fact, so long as they have a similar level of intellect you can teach them about geekiness and they can teach you about philosophy, art, literature or economics.

* Have fun - Even if you know it doesn't work out, enjoy the experience (in a more than physical sense - I do know the minds on this forum). Learn what you can about the fairer sex and most importantly about yourself.

* DON'T STRESS - Just because everyone is dating doesn't mean that you have to. I've been happily married for five years and know my wife for six years prior to that. Prior to this I had a single GF. Why? Because I saw the dating scene as too contrived, artificial and lacking in meaningful communication. I certainly had many female friends (some who told me later that they wish that I had dated them) so it's not necessary to date everyone.

Man, what an essay! It has been a while since posting, so I guess I am making up for it.
 
Posted by TheGirlWonder (Member # 4698) on November 29, 2005, 21:30:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

It sounds to me like you might be trying just a tad too hard. Just relax, be yourself, and try not to be too extreme. [Wink] Be confident. Your special someone will come along when you least expect it.

It took me fifteen years to meet my sweetheart, and another two to date him. I (and sooooooo many other girls) don't mind the geeky type at all, as long as he's not extreme and doesn't talk about stuff that's way over my head.
 
Posted by shane_the_god_of_my_room (Member # 4709) on December 14, 2005, 05:49:
 
I recommend beer and nakedness [evil] [evil]

failing that just do what thegirlwonder said
[thumbsup]
 
Posted by kabukisensei (Member # 4740) on December 14, 2005, 06:04:
 
quote:
Women (actually people) are looking for someone who makes them feel good
women are people? lol...that's a good one [Smile]
/duck
 
Posted by Pamela (Member # 4786) on January 05, 2006, 21:47:
 
Making a woman laugh is a very good thing, so is confidence, and a happy guy geek who loves what he is doing is a big turn on.

I hope you meet a girl who is just as much into gadgets as you are. Having things in common helps spur on conversation, so maybe you need to look where you might have something in common with another girl?
 
Posted by FireSnake (Member # 1181) on January 05, 2006, 22:18:
 
I have a sneaking suspicion that Nice hearty boy was a one-post wonder.
 
Posted by Ugurcan (Member # 4746) on January 05, 2006, 23:35:
 
Wait a couple more years until your hormones start leaking from your ears, and you'll figure out a way... [Wink]

Joking aside, I'm a real disaster on these matters, but I can safely say these; Just be yourself, try to avoid techno-babble, be nice and be fun. Period.
 
Posted by FireSnake (Member # 1181) on January 06, 2006, 09:26:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ugurcan:
Joking aside, I'm a real disaster on these matters, but I can safely say these; Just be yourself, try to avoid techno-babble, be nice and be fun. Period.

Aw, but you are such a cutie! I'd think women would be willing to overlook less than suave conversation from you.
 
Posted by Wolfie001 (Member # 4841) on January 20, 2006, 14:48:
 
RUN! J/k But things went Verry well online, and on the phone talking for 40 hours per week some times... i moved 2,000 miles and it blew up in my face, now i'm stuck off in BFE and yeah... i Realy hope it all works out
 
Posted by Angel Devoid v3 (Member # 4845) on January 22, 2006, 21:48:
 
so woolfie first you say

quote:
Originally posted by Wolfie001:
I moved here from washington and know No one. if this dosent work, i'm gonna sit out side the library with a sign that says i need friends j/k but i'v thought about it.... a few times...

now you comment on moving there to have some sort of relationship with someone and it blew up in your face... yet you claimed to "know no one"

make up my mind?
 


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