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Posted by TheMoMan (Member # 1659) on June 03, 2010, 05:14:
 
____ Just a thought!!!!



____ Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

____ This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by

____ Using a Q & A format:


____ Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

____ A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


____ Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

____ A. From taxpayers.


____ Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

____ A. Only a smidgen of it.


____ Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

____ A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


____ Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

____ A. Shut up.


____ Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by

____ Spending your stimulus check wisely:


____ * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

____ * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

____ * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

____ * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..

____ * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

____ * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

____ * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


____ Instead, keep the money in America by:

____ 1) Spending it at yard sales, or

____ 2) Going to ball games, or

____ 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

____ 4) Beer or

____ 5) Tattoos.

____ (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. . )

____ Conclusion:

____ Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

____ No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
 
Posted by Ugh, MightyClub (Member # 3112) on June 03, 2010, 15:46:
 
Haha! Nice one, MoMan. [Applause]
 


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