This is topic Why don't I know what I want? in forum Looking for Love at The Geek Culture Forums!.

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Posted by TSG (Member # 8350) on July 17, 2007, 06:44:
This is going to ramble. My apologies in advance.

I'm 42 years old. I've been separated from my ex for 3 years. I've been out on exactly 2 dates in the last three years, and have spent two weekends with a friend (and by spent the weekend, you know what that means).

I'm not actively looking. It's not that I don't want to. I just don't. I don't think it's fear, but it might be. I don't think it's apathy, but it might be.

I don't know why I don't know what I want.

I'm not one of these women who have to be partnered or married. It'd be nice to have someone to spend time with but I'm not all nutso about it.

Maybe it is apathy.

Anyone ever been through something similar? Where you just either don't care, or don't care enough?
Posted by business attire (Member # 6102) on July 17, 2007, 06:55:
as long as you're not a hermit, you're fine. who cares?

I mean, if you have a thriving social life, a handful of close friends, and you're happy, then who says you need a boyfriend/husband/fuck buddy?
Posted by stevenback7 (Member # 5114) on July 17, 2007, 08:53:
My advice would be just to not worry about it. Be yourself and do the things you want to do. If a guy comes along then fine but if no one shows up then don't worry about that either. Just try and populate your pool of friends with a balanced assortment of men and women.
Posted by spungo (Member # 1089) on July 17, 2007, 09:34:
Originally posted by TSG:
Anyone ever been through something similar? Where you just either don't care, or don't care enough?

Been there, done that... am still doing that.

I have long suspected that we can rationalize all day long, we can blame apathy, stubbornness, common sense, whatever -- but ultimately this is tantamount to avoidance: what we may be touching upon is nothing less than full-frontal, semi-conscious, all singing all dancing, just-too-big-to-see properly, honest to goodness __FEAR__. Yes, Ma'am. Fear, in all it's ugly, gut-wrenching, staring-at-the-Sun blindingness. Of course, it's virtually impossible to know this for sure.

It's too late for me ( [Wink] ), but you can always do something about it. [Smile]
Posted by BooBooKitty (Member # 5566) on July 17, 2007, 10:57:
I'm sorta going through that right now. I figure that as long as you're happy with whom you are and enjoy the time spent with family and friends doing what you want then having a special someone to share it all with would just be icing on the cake.

Personally, I don't feel that I *need* to find someone for the sake of being with someone. So until that someone happens along, I'll just continue being as I am. :-)
Posted by fs (Member # 1181) on July 17, 2007, 11:09:
It seems like you are bothered because you don't care that you aren't involved. Maybe you should think about why you think you should be unhappy/lonely/looking? If they can be distilled down to "Lifetime Television for Women says so" then probably you don't need to pursue it any further.
Posted by TSG (Member # 8350) on July 18, 2007, 09:06:
I don't think it's a Lifetime moment. I think it's a "I'm 42 years old, what's wrong with me" moment.

And I think it passed /grin

Thanks for your words, guys.

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