This is topic SATANIC LEMON!! :run: :noes: in forum Your News! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by -ct- (Member # 209) on April 20, 2006, 17:31:
 
I'm going to take over the world! BWAAAHAHHAHAHAAA!


quote:

Demon Lemon


My buddy, Dan, has a lemon tree. This tree has produced a few odd lemons in its time, but we are now convinced it was probably planted over a portal to Hell.

The other day Dan walked outside to find this satanic yellow beast hanging from the tree, plotting its world-wide reign of citrus terror.

 -

This is no tiny lemon. It is approximately 5" long, has a 14" circumference and weighs just over 1 pound!! It's a lemon to be reckoned with.

It almost appears as if a normal lemon is in the grips of a monstrous taloned fist. Or that it's trying to give us the finger. We were going to cut it open but were afraid blood might come out. So, now it's on http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9508334956

(or was, i bought it [thumbsup] )

Since this is ultimately a perishable item, I'm also throwing in a non-perishable and extremely rare SNEEZE MUG. Very few of these exist. (Because no one ever buys them from The Sneeze store.)

 -

In addition, <b>we will donate all profits from this auction to a charity of the winner's choosing.

Won't you bid on a freakish piece of demonic fruit history today?

(you can't! i already won! )

To see more pix check out the auction right here.

By Steven | [url=http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000507.php">Permalink[/url]



now i need ideas for what to do with it

of course, it needs it's own website to start
ideas for names? lol

[evil]
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on April 20, 2006, 17:40:
 
Unfortunately, bidding ended already. [Frown]
 
Posted by Rhonwyyn (Member # 2854) on April 20, 2006, 17:44:
 
If I'm correctly reading the UBB tags between the lines, -ct- bought that freakish lemon.
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on April 20, 2006, 17:45:
 
Doh! I just skimmed through that part since I saw the entry at the Sneeze already. [crazy]
 
Posted by -ct- (Member # 209) on April 20, 2006, 18:21:
 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
Unfortunately, bidding ended already. [Frown]

yes, i won [thumbsup] [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Thorned0Fortress (Member # 4435) on April 20, 2006, 21:20:
 
Wash. Fill with hot bevarage. Enjoy.
 
Posted by Flashfire (Member # 2616) on April 20, 2006, 22:33:
 
When I first read the topic title, I thought this was going to be a rant about a really awful car. [Big Grin]

Instead, that's quite the piece of citrus you've got there, -ct-. My first thought would be to make DEMON LEMONADE and put that up for auction.

Other than that...yeah, I got nothin'.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on April 21, 2006, 01:16:
 
Wow, a Cthulemon !
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on April 21, 2006, 07:06:
 
Ha! That's awesome. I read the sneeze all the time. I'm afraid of that lemon though.

And I'm not sure it was worth $51, but have fun with it anyway. [Wink]
 
Posted by Black Widow (Member # 3046) on April 21, 2006, 07:36:
 
I wonder if there's some way you can preserve it so that it never rots/molds/dries out and shrivels away?

Aside from that, sell it to Golden Palace (or whatever that online casino? is that buys all the weird stuff).
 
Posted by canadiangeek (Member # 4946) on April 21, 2006, 09:56:
 
Speaking of mugs...... my girlfriend's going to Mexico soon, and she was in search of a decent mug to keep her liquor cold..... that's when I found it..... The BUBBA KEG

 -

.... 52 ounces (1.5L for you metric folks) of booze holding goodness.......

Granted, it's no Big Tim (for those of you not lucky enough to be farmiliar with Tim Hortons, it's a 59oz gargantuan mug-shaped coffee holding wonder, and each refil comes with a bag of cream and sugar, and a stack of coffee cups).

 -
 
Posted by Thorned0Fortress (Member # 4435) on April 21, 2006, 10:09:
 
For real about the Lemon...
I think you should cut it in half and scrape out all of the insides. Then put it back together with some kind of preservative.
 
Posted by Bibo (Member # 1959) on April 21, 2006, 10:27:
 
Or put it back on ebay and see if Golden Palace will pay $$$$ for it!
 
Posted by Flashfire (Member # 2616) on April 21, 2006, 14:43:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
I wonder if there's some way you can preserve it so that it never rots/molds/dries out and shrivels away?

I'm not an expert in fruit preservation, but you could try coating it with varnish or shellac. I'm not sure exactly what to use, but anything that blocks out oxygen should work, like a clear acrylic sealer. Since citrus fruit is naturally acidic, you shouldn't have to worry about scraping out the insides, but you may want to just to be on the safe side.
 
Posted by Thorned0Fortress (Member # 4435) on April 21, 2006, 17:42:
 
Or freeze-dry it, like they do to organs for med students.
 
Posted by SpazGirl (Member # 4915) on April 21, 2006, 20:05:
 
Nope, they plastinate the organs, they feel like someone dipped them in rubber cement and let them dry.
 
Posted by Thorned0Fortress (Member # 4435) on April 22, 2006, 13:14:
 
Then what is ? Oh yeah when I went to the OMNI THEATER a long time ago they were showing us animal parts. I think there was a freeze dried sheep something .....
 
Posted by -ct- (Member # 209) on April 22, 2006, 21:52:
 
Demon Lemon Mystery SOLVED

Congratulations to Greg (that's ME, btw [Cool] ) in Deerfield Beach, Florida for winning the satanic lemon auction.
Several people wrote in suggesting that the freakish lemon may have actually been a weird mutation of a Buddha's Hand Citron.

While this was an admirable guess, it is completely WRONG and precisely what Satan would have you believe.
After much research, we have determined the only plausible cause of the Demon Lemon...

Oogie Boogie from "Nightmare Before Christmas" had sex with the tree.
 -
Case closed!


permalink:
http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000511.php


if i was you, i'd run! run! run! far away, fast

as of now, however, the "lemon" is wrapped in 2 layers of foil, inside a bubblewrap bag, and 3 more layers of foil, in my freezer

one can only hope the cold will slow it down [evil]
 
Posted by maximile (Member # 3446) on April 23, 2006, 00:18:
 
I fear the cold will be insufficient to stop that monster... [Wink]

Thanks for pointing out a great website, ct - I haven't come across that one before.
 
Posted by Thorned0Fortress (Member # 4435) on April 23, 2006, 00:23:
 
I have the nightmare b4 christmas soundtrack.
 
Posted by Jace Raven (Member # 2444) on April 23, 2006, 03:11:
 
I have a dog.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on April 23, 2006, 11:59:
 
quote:
Originally posted by maximile:
I fear the cold will be insufficient to stop that monster... [Wink]

Thanks for pointing out a great website, ct - I haven't come across that one before.

Go read the "Steve Don't Eat It" -- you'll laugh your ass off.
 
Posted by djbrez (Member # 1376) on April 25, 2006, 09:56:
 
the Q & A on the auction are pretty funny too!

well done!
 
Posted by ARJ (Member # 157) on April 25, 2006, 19:30:
 
You need to get a hold of Neil Gaiman's satanic tomato and cook a dish with the two together over a brimstone fire. [devil wand]
 
Posted by SilverBlade (Member # 3541) on April 26, 2006, 05:36:
 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
quote:
Originally posted by maximile:
I fear the cold will be insufficient to stop that monster... [Wink]

Thanks for pointing out a great website, ct - I haven't come across that one before.

Go read the "Steve Don't Eat It" -- you'll laugh your ass off.
My gosh, that was GROSS! Breast milk? Pickled pork rinds? *gag*
 
Posted by Black Widow (Member # 3046) on April 26, 2006, 06:38:
 
quote:
Originally posted by SilverBlade:
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
quote:
Originally posted by maximile:
I fear the cold will be insufficient to stop that monster... [Wink]

Thanks for pointing out a great website, ct - I haven't come across that one before.

Go read the "Steve Don't Eat It" -- you'll laugh your ass off.
My gosh, that was GROSS! Breast milk? Pickled pork rinds? *gag*
The Cuitlacoche is the grossest to me. *barf*
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on April 26, 2006, 07:19:
 
I was most disgusted by the natto, personally.
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on April 26, 2006, 09:57:
 
quote:
Originally posted by SilverBlade:
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
quote:
Originally posted by maximile:
I fear the cold will be insufficient to stop that monster... [Wink]

Thanks for pointing out a great website, ct - I haven't come across that one before.

Go read the "Steve Don't Eat It" -- you'll laugh your ass off.
My gosh, that was GROSS! Breast milk? Pickled pork rinds? *gag*
Honestly, breast milk isn't that bad. [Wink]
 
Posted by Black Widow (Member # 3046) on April 26, 2006, 13:38:
 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
Honestly, breast milk isn't that bad. [Wink]

*cough*

/nods
 
Posted by -ct- (Member # 209) on April 26, 2006, 16:43:
 
i'd MUCH rather have breast milk (who wouldn't really?) than the cuitlacoche

[blush] < imagine that green instead
 


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