This is topic Geek guys. What would you do if? in forum Guys, Guys, Guys! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by serishema (Member # 4481) on June 12, 2010, 10:25:
 
Ok so there's this really hot and smart guy in my programming class i've been fighting myself not to pounce on and have my way with right there and then all semester.

So i'm wanting to ask what you'd do in this secnario geek guys:

She always looks into your eyes from across the roomand then looks away back at her screen when she notices she's been looking too long.

On friday she crouches down beside your chair in the project workspace asking you how your assignment is going, you say it's going well you're nearly finished.
She strokes your shoulder and wishes you luck and walks back to her work station.

(now this is the part i'm trying to figure out if I should actually do)

The next time you see her, you try to say something... but no words come. She grabs you and softly kisses you, looks into your eyes and says "Do I have to make it any more obvious I think you're the hottest guy ever, and I want you!" and is gone. You hear the swipe card access beep - she'll be back at her terminal already.
--

What would you do if this happened to you?
I'm wanting to make sure i'm not going to like give the object of my affections a fatal heart attack or something!

I can't take it any more he's driving me crazy sitting there looking irresistable :/
 
Posted by MacManKrisK (Member # 955) on June 12, 2010, 12:10:
 
With any relationship-oriented situation, I always have the same two-step advice:

1) Tell the little nagging, self-deprecating voice in your head to STFU! You may need to tell him this multiple times.

2) Do whatever it is you want to do (keeping in mind decency laws, common courtesy, and common sense), as soon as possible... stop waiting for the perfect time, stop waiting for the perfect scenario, stop waiting for the perfect day, the perfect hour, the perfect minute... JUST STOP WAITING AND FUCKING DO IT!

Everything else, all the niggling details that are running around in your head, all the little fantasy scenarios, all the imagined conversations, all of that stuff is immaterial; when the moment arrives for you to make a move, the REAL WORLD will not act nor behave in any way similar to your imagined daydreams.

All you have to do is DO SOMETHING; and waiting and worrying about it is not DOING something.

The time for thinking (and plotting and planning and scheming) is over... the time for DOING is now!

GO! NOW!
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on June 12, 2010, 12:32:
 
You're not going to give him a heart attack unless:
(1) He has a really weak heart (unlikely, but possible)
(2) You're Jessica Alba or the like. ;P

It's entirely possible that he'll still dismiss this as 'impossible' and a case of mistaken identity, but assuming he's not thoroughly dense, your point should be clear enough. (Unless he's gay or otherwise taken.)

He might also be *really* into whatever he's working on, and brush it off until he finishes haxx0ring. While that would make him a touch stupid, you ought to admire his dedication to the cause, and reward him for it later. [Big Grin] Otherwise, he's just a poser.

And yeah...MMKK's point #2 is pretty dead on -- talk is cheap. Carpe diem.
(Or to channel a prodigal geek here: Carpe geekium.)
 
Posted by serishema (Member # 4481) on June 12, 2010, 12:44:
 
I talk to him a lot, but the thing is whenever I try to talk about something other than programming he completely ignores me. I've been flirting like mad really obviously.

Like when I see him I say "hi cutiee" and run my finger along his cheek.

These are not my day dreams.. this is my actual attempts at flirting with him. I'm more confident than most of the girls who post here and am more likely to get into trouble for sexual harrasment than not to make a move on someone [Wink] (kidding, i've never actually gotten into trouble for anything like that)

I was asking because I know the way I am fairly well and the inertia seemed to evapourate, especially with the wishing him luck on his project thing last friday I mentioned previousy - when this has happened before i've been completely uninhibitted the next time I saw whoever I was crushing on.. which means the next time I see him he'll get the full uninhibited weight of everything i've wished i could tell him or do..

I've scared people away before, that's why I was asking for guys opinions.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on June 12, 2010, 13:22:
 
Geek guys are dense, I mean really, really dense.

Subtle hints don't work.

Unsubtle hints don't work.

Really blatant hints don't work.

Show up naked, with beer.

Or, what you described in the first post might work, if he's a little less dense than most.
 
Posted by serishema (Member # 4481) on June 12, 2010, 15:22:
 
what about emailing him a link to this thread?
would that work?
 
Posted by macmcseboy (Member # 1232) on June 12, 2010, 15:25:
 
I second the "Show up naked with beer" method.

I am male,I am geek.... You will need to "club him and drag him home" My last GF chose this approach. The one currently pining over me, well, that's a LONG story.

You should seize the moment, and secure yourself this man.
 
Posted by Xanthine (Member # 736) on June 12, 2010, 16:00:
 
Here's how it is. You're either the predator or the prey. Once you've figured out which category you're in, work with it.

I happen to be prey. I ended up married to an electrical engineer. He is one of those rare extroverted types of geeks. He is also ten years older than me. I was in my early twenties when we met. I mention this because guys and gals in their early twenties tend to be a bit lacking in the self-confidence department and that's what can make a geek guy so shy and clueless (or clueless-seeming; never underestimate the power of disbelief). In some cases, that wears off with age.

That whole lack of confidence thing makes geek girls shy and clueless too. Except us girls are, according to society, supposed to be the prey so it's a bit less crippling.

NB: I did not say that girls must be prey. Even back in the good ol' days that only existed in the minds of some, not all women were prey. But women who had the predator mindset had to be much slyer in how they expressed it. And the converse for men. Anyway, back to my main point..

serishema, methinks you are a predator. Your object of interest is prey who has probably got a fair bit of denial intermingled with general cluelessness. Touching him with fingertips isn't going to work. Sticking your tongue down his throat should work but if he's too deep in denial he might think it's a cruel joke, especially if you don't at least ask him out for coffee afterward. But he might get it. And you'd be less likely to get arrested than if you're prancing around the campus naked with beer.
 
Posted by TheMoMan (Member # 1659) on June 12, 2010, 17:55:
 
____ Now the OLD FART chimes in. At your age I was dense, very dense I probably would not have floated in water, or social situations. First make sure he does not have a squeeze, then tell him that you want to go out with him, be prepared to teach him every step. (DENSE) Be up front and outline your intentions, that you want him. Now be prepared to have him try to escape, prey do that.
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on June 12, 2010, 18:11:
 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
what about emailing him a link to this thread?
would that work?

That'd be a /tad/ rude, no?
(Politely ignoring the reality of talking about him behind his back this much...it is well meaning, at least.)

Just talk to him... [Smile]
(Or teach yourself LISP and write an appropriate number of assertions, draw it on yourself with lipstick or something, and take it from there...he'll figure *that* out.)
 
Posted by MacManKrisK (Member # 955) on June 12, 2010, 20:28:
 
Seriously, just keep it simple, straightforward, and sane. The sane part is what keeps you from throwing him down on the floor, ripping his clothes off of him, mounting him and screaming "I WANT YOUR BABIES!" Trust me, that's not quite the right approach.

Instead, you might try something simple like: "Hey, I was wondering if we could get a cup of coffee together sometime?" Really, there is NO other way to do it than to just ask.

Hints won't work, subtle flirting won't work, non-subtle flirting won't work... just ask him out!
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on June 13, 2010, 10:50:
 
quote:
Originally posted by TheMoMan:
____ Now the OLD FART chimes in. At your age I was dense, very dense I probably would not have floated in water, or social situations. First make sure he does not have a squeeze, then tell him that you want to go out with him, be prepared to teach him every step. (DENSE) Be up front and outline your intentions, that you want him. Now be prepared to have him try to escape, prey do that.

Mo, don't be so hard on yourself. You're still as dense as ever.

[Especially true if you actually believe your accusation that I have been lurking.]


[Razz] gg
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on June 13, 2010, 10:57:
 
quote:
Originally posted by MacManKrisK:
Seriously, just keep it simple, straightforward, and sane. The sane part is what keeps you from throwing him down on the floor, ripping his clothes off of him, mounting him and screaming "I WANT YOUR BABIES!" Trust me, that's not quite the right approach.

The above merely proves how over-rated sanity is at certain times...

So then, keep it simple, like MMKK started to say, before he drifted into the <gasp> [Eek!] "Sanity Soliloquy". Don't trust MMKK on this one - what he described initially IS the Right Approach!

[Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by TheMoMan (Member # 1659) on June 13, 2010, 15:16:
 
____ GG. I calls them as I see them.


____ Its my story I'll tell it my way!!! Lurker
 
Posted by Callipygous (Member # 2071) on June 13, 2010, 17:03:
 
Um I don't mean to be tricky, but there is a possible alternative, which is that he isn't attracted to you, and is getting increasingly freaked out (Is she a bunny boiler?) and turned off by what you are doing.

quote:
I talk to him a lot, but the thing is whenever I try to talk about something other than programming he completely ignores me
This bothers me, because if you cannot talk about subjects outside your work, what is the chance of there being any actual relationship? For me the key question after deciding that someone is attractive, and a decent kind human being, is can we make each other laugh? If so there is a fair chance that even if we find we are not sexually compatible, at least some giggling will be a balm to our mutual embarrassment, and I will not cringe with shame on any later recollection.

Nonetheless I agree with the others about being plain spoken, rather than dropping hints, but try first to ask him out for a coffee, talk and see if there is anything interesting and lively in his mind. Work out whether you want him as a friend before deciding whether there might be anything more. Softly softly catchee geeky.
 
Posted by serishema (Member # 4481) on June 13, 2010, 19:44:
 
I emailed him "Do i have to make it any more obvious I think you're really hot and I want you!?"

He didn't reply, so it's pretty ***in obvious he's eaither completely dense or doesn't like me, so case closed.
 
Posted by serishema (Member # 4481) on June 13, 2010, 19:45:
 
have I mentioned lately that I wish I was asexual?
 
Posted by Richard Wolf VI (Member # 4993) on June 13, 2010, 19:48:
 
 -

(Had to search a quick image on that)

Was it that hard just asking him out?
 
Posted by MacManKrisK (Member # 955) on June 13, 2010, 20:20:
 
Yeah, you need to tone down the approach a bit there....
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on June 13, 2010, 22:09:
 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
I emailed him "Do i have to make it any more obvious I think you're really hot and I want you!?"

He didn't reply, so it's pretty ***in obvious he's eaither completely dense or doesn't like me, so case closed.

Or...is so busy coding/doing things in the Big Blue Room† that he didn't check his e-mail.

Or...he'd rather reply in person.

Or...due to geeky tendencies towards skepticism...still doesn't believe it.

† Believe it or not, it can happen (hell, I was away from e-mail for the better part of today)
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on June 13, 2010, 23:56:
 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
I emailed him "Do i have to make it any more obvious I think you're really hot and I want you!?"

He didn't reply, so it's pretty ***in obvious he's eaither completely dense or doesn't like me, so case closed.

Don't give up so easily.
The way to a mans heart is through his stomach - break into his home, and boil the family pet.

(sorry, couldn't resist)
 
Posted by TheMoMan (Member # 1659) on June 14, 2010, 04:41:
 
____ So he did not reply to your E-mail, he may have a problem with faces and names. At the end of the next class walk up to him and invite him the the lunchroom, cafeteria for a beverage. Then if you get rejected, A: He has a Squeeze. B: Mommy won't let him socialize. C: You are scary to him.
 
Posted by Ashitaka (Member # 4924) on June 14, 2010, 07:00:
 
quote:
Originally posted by serishema:
have I mentioned lately that I wish I was asexual?

Does this mean you wish you were like Pat from the old SNL sketches (Its Pat) or that you want a chiold that is a clone of you.

If you simply want solo sexual experiences you do have options.
 
Posted by Venture (Member # 32021) on June 15, 2010, 07:48:
 
Most importantly, make sure he is single. Then strategize your approach. Like they said, DENSE. ha! very true.

Use your common interest. Write a program that conveys the message.
 
Posted by geekygoddess (Member # 15702) on June 16, 2010, 00:00:
 
He's just not that into you...
 
Posted by Fibonacci (Member # 29869) on June 21, 2010, 01:25:
 
I am a male geek, and I know I'm denser than osmium.
Just ask my past partners or my current boyfriend Richard - he had to tell me in my face he liked me in that way (I mean, in person, not via e-mail), otherwise I wouldn't have noticed it.

Also, check he is single at the time. Richard didn't. That led to some unpleasantries which shall not be retold - but he did win my heart in the end.
 
Posted by TheMoMan (Member # 1659) on June 21, 2010, 03:01:
 
____ Fresh out of High School, if cornered by a young lady intent on me, I would not have had a clue. Then after four years in Unkle Sams Canoe Club, My compass would have been pointing North.
 
Posted by fs (Member # 1181) on July 01, 2010, 09:06:
 
There's something to be said for being direct, instead of dropping hints and playing coy and then being surprised that someone else doesn't understand what you're getting at.

Direct does not actually entail repeatedly initiating uninvited physical contact in a school/work environment. (Stop running your hands over the dude. It's kind of creepy.)

Glad to see that serishema didn't go for the full on mouth-to-mouth, but went the verbally direct route instead.

Guys offering advice on this topic aren't exactly reliable. There's stuff left unsaid. Like, they want a hot chick or at least one that they consider reasonably attractive to initiate the dating scenario. And they have no idea how to handle the awkwardness of having to reject a female they find even less sexually/socially desirable than themselves.

Not saying that the girl in question is a morbidly obese, acne coated skank with stringy hair and wearing yesterday's BO, but if she was, how would your answers change? And what if her code was inelegant?

I'm sure serishema herself is nubile and sylph-like, the very vision of undergrad desirability. In glasses. And I'm sure her code is just as lovely. But for the sake of argument.

(Also, the predator/prey analogy still freaks me out, with its vore overtones. And you should all be so happy I linked something without pictures.)
 
Posted by GrumpySteen (Member # 170) on July 01, 2010, 13:09:
 
fs wrote:
a morbidly obese, acne coated skank with stringy hair and wearing yesterday's BO

*swoon*

Excuse me. I'll be in my bunk for a bit.
 
Posted by Ashitaka (Member # 4924) on July 02, 2010, 00:45:
 
WOW, I guess if a potential mate says they are into Voreaphilia, you had better ask pretty quickly if they are into hard vore or soft vore.
 
Posted by LAW G4 (Member # 38302) on April 14, 2011, 01:38:
 
What I would do:
Wait until there is a party (or go to a bar if there is no party in the near future) and have about 4 shots of vodka (liquid courage) and go from there.
 


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