This is topic Men, how do you like it? in forum Guys, Guys, Guys! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by boo (Member # 5991) on March 10, 2007, 12:40:
 
I've been making a concerted effort to better understand the mind of men. [Smile] With that in mind, I ask this question:

If you are to receive bad or somewhat unpleasant news, do you prefer to have the messanger cut to the chase and give it to you all at once and be done, or do you prefer to have some preparation and get it a bit at a time? Thank you for your responses.
 
Posted by Steen (Member # 170) on March 10, 2007, 13:13:
 
Nice topic title, but you should take into account that some of us have our minds in the gutter all the time...

Anyway

I prefer to just be told the bad news without dragging it out, but I don't think that's the norm.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 10, 2007, 14:00:
 
I get really annoyed when people are obviously beating around the bush over some bad news, I'd much rather the direct approach.

The female reluctance to communicate in plain language is one of the enduring problems of the human species.
 
Posted by GameMaster (Member # 1173) on March 10, 2007, 14:11:
 
I also say, just tell me... Nude with beer? (well, I don't drink, but that's the running gag.)
 
Posted by stevenback7 (Member # 5114) on March 10, 2007, 14:14:
 
definatly all at once - I hate it when someone just plays with you and drags it on for hours or even days. But also i don't want it as quick as possible - i might be a guy but that doesn't mean i don't want to know the whole story.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on March 10, 2007, 14:24:
 
I'm the same - if it is bad news... or,indeed, any news, just get to the point and don't make it take longer than it needs to take.

Ok, so bearing in mind that we are talking in broad generalisations here ('women' does not necessarily mean all women and 'men' does not necessarily mean all men ), this is how it looks to me:

I suspect that the female trait of breaking the bad news gently, by leading up to the issues slowly and setting the scene, is motivated by a desire to cause as little hurt as possible.

However, it doesn't work like that in practice. What the guy sees is controlling behaviour, in that the person imparting the bad news makes it clear that they have some information but they will only divulge that information on their terms.

Very frustrating, and massively counter-productive as it usually means that the bringer of bad news causes more upset than necessary, when they were trying to minimise the hurt.

Today's lessson??? - Cut the crap and tell me what I need to know.

YMMV, of course.
 
Posted by ScholasticSpastic (Member # 6919) on March 10, 2007, 14:26:
 
Yup, men like their bad news all at once. Nudity and beer can take the sting out much better than putting it gently.
 
Posted by WinterSolstice (Member # 934) on March 10, 2007, 23:01:
 
I like all data communicated smoothly and concisely.

"Your mother died"
"You got a raise of $x"
"You suck at this - do this instead"

Much easier. Don't waste my time with all that other nonsense.
 
Posted by Just_Jess_B (Member # 2161) on March 11, 2007, 08:29:
 
quote:
Originally posted by ScholasticSpastic:
Yup, men like their bad news all at once. Nudity and beer can take the sting out much better than putting it gently.

It depends on who is nude bringing beer.

Rosie O'Donnell. Roseanne Barr.

Two examples I think most men would agree would prefer clothing.
 
Posted by iWanToUseaMac (Member # 4993) on March 11, 2007, 08:56:
 
... and Janet Rhino... Oops, sorry, Reno.
Bad news are better raw, you don't lose many vitamins and because of that they're healthier.
How I love analogies!
(Please, don't start talking about antioxidants, I already know about them)
 
Posted by Jace Raven (Member # 2444) on March 11, 2007, 09:45:
 
Hey boo. Long time no see.

Give it to me hard and fast. Dont beat around my bush or try and be considerate of my feelings. Just give it to me. The more blunt you are the better.

I dont see a point in being gentle with something that you know is going to hurt. Just give it to me and get it over with.

Being in my position you learn to assume the position professionally and you learn to bite the towell proficiently. With somethings it's just better to take it than fight it.

... I just re-read all that.
 
Posted by Metasquares (Member # 4441) on March 11, 2007, 09:56:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
I get really annoyed when people are obviously beating around the bush over some bad news, I'd much rather the direct approach.

The female reluctance to communicate in plain language is one of the enduring problems of the human species.

Jess' song in that thread should be sung to the tune of the Trogdor song [Smile]

Anyway, I'd agree with the others: just say it plainly.
 
Posted by Reedius (Member # 7130) on March 11, 2007, 11:37:
 
yup, plain and simple is the choice.

And for women to understand men is quite an easy thing to do, you just have to be logic, the problem between men and women are the incompatiblity of their method of thinking, we are logical you are illogical.
 
Posted by boo (Member # 5991) on March 11, 2007, 11:47:
 
quote:
Originally posted by WinterSolstice:
I like all data communicated smoothly and concisely.

"Your mother died"
"You got a raise of $x"
"You suck at this - do this instead"

Much easier. Don't waste my time with all that other nonsense.

This made me laugh. You prefer news of the death of your mother delivered in the same way you get news of a pay raise. [Big Grin]

It probably says something about me that I found that amusing. [Smile]


quote:
Originally posted by Jace Raven:
Give it to me hard and fast.

[blush] Isn't it the girl who's supposed to say that?


quote:
Originally posted by Reedius:
the problem between men and women are the incompatiblity of their method of thinking, we are logical you are illogical.

No soup for you!  -
 
Posted by boo (Member # 5991) on March 11, 2007, 12:13:
 
Okay, so anyway, the consensus is to get it all at once, no dilly dallying.

Thanks, guys. [thumbsup]
 
Posted by Callipygous (Member # 2071) on March 11, 2007, 17:59:
 
boo I would of course add the corollary that this is only a general rule, and so the circumstances of any individual case may often suggest otherwise.
 
Posted by supaboy (Member # 183) on March 12, 2007, 05:13:
 
Do you prefer bandages (or hair wax, I dunno) to be pulled off quickly or slowly enough that you get to perceive each strand being extracted from its follicle? [Smile]
 
Posted by Astronomer Jedi (Member # 4699) on March 12, 2007, 06:00:
 
In general I prefer things straight up, but I'm sure there are the occasional circumstances where some context, etc is needed.

quote:
Originally posted by supaboy:
Do you prefer bandages (or hair wax, I dunno) to be pulled off quickly or slowly enough that you get to perceive each strand being extracted from its follicle? [Smile]

I use a fair bit of sports tape on my ankles when I play hockey, but I take the easy way out...I shave where I know the tape is going to be. [Razz]
Don't ask me about waxing though.
 
Posted by Colonel Panic (Member # 1200) on March 12, 2007, 17:28:
 
And one more thing, boo ...

Not over dinner, OK?

Buy him a good, stiff drink. And to show everyone you are a class act, leave your Gold Card with the bartender.

Straight up truth, that's the way I'd like it done to me.

Colonel Panic
 
Posted by LoneWolf (Member # 4966) on March 12, 2007, 19:00:
 
Like a bandage - right off!
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on March 13, 2007, 09:16:
 
Naked with beer.
 
Posted by Colonel Panic (Member # 1200) on March 13, 2007, 17:46:
 
Drunk,

You have something there ...

Tell the guy,

"Baby, let's do it tonight like it was the last time."

Then just before he's finished tell him it is the last time.

I had a girlfriend to that once. Man, I miss her. But that was quite and exit.

She knew me well. And spent my money even better.

Colonel Panic
 
Posted by boo (Member # 5991) on March 13, 2007, 23:31:
 
quote:

Not over dinner, OK?

Oh no, that would be terrible. [Frown]
quote:
Originally posted by LoneWolf:
Like a bandage - right off!

I can do that. [Smile]
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
Naked with beer.

No no no. Naked with beer is always good news. [Big Grin]
 


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