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Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2006, 07:06:
 
Sometimes, when someone is really askin' for their comeuppance, it arrives....


SENIOR MOMENT

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing and...," (pausing to take another drink of beer).

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were
young... so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little fart, what
are you doing for the next generation?"

The applause was resounding...
 
Posted by stevenback7 (Member # 5114) on November 17, 2006, 08:21:
 
Not bad, the seniors might have invented technology but us youth have mastered it to its potential.
 
Posted by Too Cool To Quit (Member # 2217) on November 17, 2006, 08:25:
 
Bravo!
 
Posted by TheMoMan (Member # 1659) on November 17, 2006, 11:53:
 
GG____________________________A friend of the Mrs's sent this to her and told me that she would not bail me out if I did any of these things, However I did thank her for the IDEAS, so watch the news.

Subject: Retirement



Mr. And Mrs. MoMan are retired Mrs. MoMan insists that Mr. MoMan go

with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to

get in and get out, but Mrs. MoMan loves to browse. Here's a letter

sent to her from the store.



Dear Mrs. MoMan,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a

commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our

stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints

against Mr. MoMan are listed below.



Things Mr. MoMan has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

carts when they weren't looking.


2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at

5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

restrooms

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,

'Code 3' in housewares ... And watched what happened.


5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on

layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding

department.


8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and

asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,

and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the

clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the

"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using

different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes

the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"



And last, but not least ...



15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then

yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
 
Posted by Ashitaka (Member # 4924) on November 17, 2006, 12:21:
 
You should add racing lobsters to your list.


I don't know why the manager was so pissed. It's not like the lobsters actually run very fast. (and it wasn't wal mart it was meijers)
 


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