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Posted by FireSnake (Member # 1181) on November 16, 2005, 03:26:
 
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

(I stole this from another board I vist sometimes [Big Grin] )
 
Posted by littlefish (Member # 966) on November 16, 2005, 03:47:
 
I used to work in the wheel shop of a car repair place, but left as the work was too tiring. So then I took a job in construction making foundations, but found it too boring.

As a reaction to rubbish jobs, I became a chemist.
 
Posted by Ugh, MightyClub (Member # 3112) on November 16, 2005, 06:24:
 
I worked for a grocery store once, but after I took stock of my position they made me check out.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 16, 2005, 07:19:
 
I sold insurance until I learned that it went against my own personal policies.

Bookkeeping seemed like a good occupation but it turned out there was no accounting for it.

I tried farming and loved driving a tractor until I learned there were others out standing in the field.

We were going to start a boat-building company but couldn't find anyone to float us a loan.

*Next*
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 16, 2005, 08:49:
 
I had a job as a plumber for a while, but that went down the pan [Razz]
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on November 16, 2005, 09:17:
 
I used to be a carpenter, but then I got board.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 16, 2005, 09:26:
 
I used to be a miner, man -that was the pits!
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 16, 2005, 09:48:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
I used to be a miner, man -that was the pits!

That sounds like a minor problem alright.

I was a bricklayer until I found out there was mortar life than that.
 
Posted by Bibo (Member # 1959) on November 16, 2005, 09:52:
 
I used to be a photographer for a newspaper but quit after I developed a negative attitude.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 16, 2005, 09:57:
 
I quit as an elevator (English=lift) operator - too many ups and downs. (Not to mention all the jerks in between.)
 
Posted by spungo (Member # 1089) on November 16, 2005, 10:01:
 
I used work for the Irish Panty Inspection Agency - but I only did it for the crack.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 16, 2005, 10:52:
 
I used to be a quarryman, which was a blast at first, but eventually I hit rock bottom.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 16, 2005, 11:05:
 
Landscaping would have been okay, if people could have left me a lawn.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 16, 2005, 11:21:
 
I worked for the canadian liberal party as an intern, hoping to get a full-time position, but no one would sponsor me.

[Big Grin]
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 16, 2005, 12:56:
 
I used to work for a bank, but then I lost interest.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 16, 2005, 13:09:
 
I used to be an undertaker, but it was a dead-end job.
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on November 16, 2005, 13:15:
 
I once worked on Wall Street, but I couldn't take all the Bull.

I used to be in construction, but I hit the glass ceiling.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 16, 2005, 15:00:
 
The pay for working in the circumcision ward was terrible, even with the tips.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 16, 2005, 15:45:
 
I was a naval captain, but those aspirations were quickly sunk.
 
Posted by Too Cool To Quit (Member # 2217) on November 16, 2005, 15:56:
 
I used to be a prostitute at a truck stop, but then I just got effing tired of it.

Edit: Gosh. The tame version of it just isn't as funny.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 16, 2005, 16:06:
 
quote:
The pay for working in the circumcision ward was terrible, even with the tips.

eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 16, 2005, 16:11:
 
I used to be a monk, but then I kicked the habit.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 16, 2005, 17:22:
 
I was gonna be a gynecologist but the hole idea was overwhelming.
 
Posted by FireSnake (Member # 1181) on November 16, 2005, 18:25:
 
I worked as a reporter for a while, why I quit is a long story.
 
Posted by Rhonwyyn (Member # 2854) on November 16, 2005, 19:18:
 
I used to be a programmer, but that job fell to bits. So then I thought I might be a house painter, but all I succeeded in doing was painting myself into a corner.

I quit my job as the county coroner 'cause it was a dead end job.
 
Posted by Ugh, MightyClub (Member # 3112) on November 16, 2005, 19:52:
 
I was a deep sea diver for a while, but I couldn't take the pressure.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 16, 2005, 21:31:
 
Being a shepherd shear seems like hard work. (Eh, spungo?)
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 17, 2005, 01:56:
 
I tried to qualify as a maths teacher, but something just didn't add up.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 17, 2005, 07:02:
 
I was going to be a professional ninja, but I kicked that idea quickly.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2005, 07:05:
 
Being a horse trainer wasn't too bad, except it was always reining.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 17, 2005, 07:37:
 
I tried to be a postman (mailman) but I just couldn't deliver.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2005, 07:44:
 
Being a well-driller paid really well, but talk about boring...
 
Posted by maximile (Member # 3446) on November 17, 2005, 07:44:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
I tried to be a postman (mailman) but I just couldn't deliver.

What he said, but with 'midwife'.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 17, 2005, 07:56:
 
quote:
Originally posted by maximile:
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
I tried to be a postman (mailman) but I just couldn't deliver.

What he said, but with 'midwife'.
I tried to be a postman, but I just couldn't midwife?

[Confused]

[Big Grin]
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 17, 2005, 08:00:
 
I used to be a jeweller, but the job lost it's sparkle.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2005, 08:06:
 
Professional Hockey seemed like a good career until I checked a little further.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 17, 2005, 08:09:
 
Someone suggested I should be an optician, but I couldn't see it myself.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2005, 08:17:
 
I tried being a soup critic for a newspaper. It wasn't a job I could sink my teeth into.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 17, 2005, 09:19:
 
I was considering being a porn star, but then it turned out that there was actually a large work load.

(I know, I know...)
 
Posted by Ugh, MightyClub (Member # 3112) on November 17, 2005, 09:26:
 
I tried my hand in a deli, but I didn't make the cut.
 
Posted by Stereo (Member # 748) on November 17, 2005, 11:19:
 
I've tried my hands at publishing, but I got some bad press.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 17, 2005, 12:23:
 
I used to be a sculptor, then I lost my marbles.
 
Posted by GameMaster (Member # 1173) on November 17, 2005, 12:59:
 
Don't know if any/all of these had been used yet...

I used to work in a coffee factory, started on the ground floor. It was really a grind. There was a man named Max there, I knew Max well. I even went to his Maxwell's House. Then the company folgered, so I moved on.

I got a job at the bakery, but I was only in it for the dough. Boss was Danish, and the job had a lot of holes in it.

So, I finally saved enough money for a Rolls, rolls down one side of the hill can't get up the other.

Worked for a farmer for a time after that, was only in it for the chicks. The boss was hog, but his wife was a Babe.

Then, I went into constuction, trying to get a better foundation in my life. I started building up in the world. There were a lot of frogs on the site though, every where you went you'd hear "Rivit rivit."
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 17, 2005, 13:39:
 
Y'know, a lot of 'frogs' on site is actually true if you mean 'frogs' as a derogatory term towards Quebecers, as there's many of them working on the roads & buildlings in Ontario in construction crews. [Wink]

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

I wanted to be a race car driver, but it turned out I had too much gas.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2005, 15:45:
 
Being a conductor on the train had some good points. It just wasn't my ticket.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 17, 2005, 15:51:
 
I was a genealogist for a while, that was relatively boring.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2005, 16:02:
 
I had a short brush with being a painter.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on November 17, 2005, 16:24:
 
I wanted to be an airplane pilot, but those plans didn't fly.
 
Posted by YaYawoman (Member # 4505) on November 17, 2005, 18:13:
 
I used to be a phlebotomist, but I just could not stick with it.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 17, 2005, 18:40:
 
As a former zookeeper I can tell you business was always picking up.
 
Posted by HalfVast (Member # 3187) on November 17, 2005, 19:29:
 
quote:
Job's I've Had
Yoda talking about his roommate Steve in college when they
were both in that 'experimental' phase.
 
Posted by Ugh, MightyClub (Member # 3112) on November 18, 2005, 06:21:
 
I had a job preserving fruit, but it wasn't long before they canned me.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 18, 2005, 09:37:
 
I worked in an aviary which turned out to be for the birds.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 18, 2005, 10:26:
 
I had a job on a potato farm, but I just couldn't dig it.
 
Posted by Snaggy (Member # 123) on November 18, 2005, 11:35:
 
At my job, I get a real lift when someone orders a propeller beanie.
[Geek]
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 18, 2005, 11:36:
 
The fellow who had the job of sous chef for the Army told me it could be really gruelling work.
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on November 18, 2005, 12:13:
 
I was a bookmakers assistant for a while, but all the shouting made me hoarse.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 18, 2005, 12:18:
 
When I operated an air-hammer I kept getting bad vibes.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 18, 2005, 14:24:
 
I had a job at a Naturist Centre for a while, but I couldn't hold it down.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 18, 2005, 14:58:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
I had a job at a Naturist Centre for a while, but I couldn't hold it down.

That's the way things were when I worked as a bouncer for a strip club. They decided that I couldn't stick it out.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 18, 2005, 15:31:
 
GG - [Applause]
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 18, 2005, 15:43:
 
No. Really. [Big Grin]

I worked in a slaughterhouse after that. That job was a real killer.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 18, 2005, 16:33:
 
I tried working as a gigolo, but I never got any downtime [Embarrassed]
 
Posted by Swiss Mercenary (Member # 330) on November 18, 2005, 18:06:
 
I worked as a Telemarketer, but it was just not my calling.
 
Posted by Grummash (Member # 4289) on November 19, 2005, 07:19:
 
I tried to be a sculptor for a while, but I didn't shape up.
 
Posted by garlicguy (Member # 3166) on November 19, 2005, 08:41:
 
I was a seismologist, but I never really felt the earth move.
 
Posted by Rhonwyyn (Member # 2854) on December 05, 2005, 21:55:
 
I copied all of the jobs so far for one of my friends tonight. While doing so, I remembered a few jobs I had:

I tried to be a sandwich maker, but I couldn't cut the mustard. Then I worked for an orchard, but it turned out I was too much of a nut. Finally, I got a job selling fruit preserves, but I kept finding myself in a jam.
 


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