This is topic You might be a geek if ..... in forum The Joke Bank! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by Mac D (Member # 2926) on October 21, 2004, 06:58:
 
I had to take some stuff out people actually put their e-mail addresses on these. But since I was at it I added the numbers. I had to go in search of these since someone put up the redneck ones. We should have our own too.

1]when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm Graffiti characters.

2]you think {x<<6}+{x<<4} is a perfectly natural way to multiply by 80.

3]you've gutted and rebuilt your computer 5 times since you last changed the oil in your car.

4]you know what a router is, and you know what a bit is, but you've never heard of a router bit.

5]you know the square root of 65536 is 256 without having to do the math.

6]you consider 65536 and 256 "nice round numbers".

7]...and you *always* put the period outside the quotes, since you're not quoting the end of the sentence...what the hell do english majors know, anyway.

8]you see a good-looking girl and you DESPERATELY want her e-mail address so you can get to know her.

9]you wake up and realize that your sleep pattern has been following an algorithm.

10]your computer chair has the permanent and stiff indentation of your butt in it.

11]the only tan you've ever acquired comes from your monitor.

12]you have assembled your own Linux distribution, and re-wrote some of the more inefficient code, just for fun. { Hmmm... it's a thought... }

13]every time someone says "I like iMacs" you get mad and shout out "So you only go for the looks, do you? Superficial guy! The inner qualities are what's important, not the looks! Beauty is only skin-deep!"

14]when asked if you have more than one hard drive, you answer "In which computer?"

15]you postpone your moving date so your computers can set new uptime records.

16]given the choice between a T3 and a date with a good looking guy/girl, you'd take the T3.

17]you've ever been successful at catching a spammer.

18]you spend more time changing settings in Windows 98 than using it.

19]you get angry when someone says they own a Pentium IV processor.

20]your friends have a club with the word .com in it.

21]you almost get in a fight when a small child says there is no internet.

22]you think everyone should have an opinion about Bill Gates.

23]you refer to having sex as setting up a LAN!

24]you refer to eating and drinking as uploading!

25]you understand and find www.ircnews.com funny.

26]you've ever passed notes at school in binary.

27]you regard the "User Friendly" virus as a good thing.

28]you've had an article appear at segfault.org.

29]you've figured out how to crash Windows NT on a 128MB system, using only Internet Explorer and Notepad.

30]you snicker whenever someone asks how much memory is needed for Windows NT to run smoothly.

31]you go into a computer store and takeover a discussion for a salesman on the specs and merits of a computer while he site there nodding as you make the sale.

32]you've ever written a useless program just for the "fun" of it.

33]a 23 GB HD, color laser, four 128MB DIMMs, and a 21" monitor would beat out Sarah Michelle Gellar, Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham, and Cindy Crawford.

34]you can actually read the error message details when a Windows program has a problem.

35]you spend more time chatting on-line in one day then you do in a week's worth of actual conversation with people face-to-face.

36]your computer costs more and runs better than your car

37]your watch is set to GMT. Always. (After all, it's the only time that makes logical sense.)

38]in real life, you tell people to go to http://www.hell.com/

39]when you're reading a magazine and you see an underlined passage, you feel compelled to click on it.

40]you have the Linux Penguin sitting on your monitor

41]... and you know the penguin's name.

42]everytime you go to write a note, you put your hands on your desk, as if looking for a keyboard to type it on.

43]you've ever debated the merits of the FVWM95 window manager...

44]you're grossly offended that anyone would want to make their Linux box work anything like Windows 95.

45]you wake up wondering which directory you're in.

46]you set up your old computer next to your new one 2 months ago so that you could transfer files and you've been using them "both" since.

47]your wallpaper is made up of Linux code.

48]your favorite pasttime is IRC on Saturday nights.

49]your computer is set for Dvorak... but your keyboard is actually a qwerty.

50]...you know what Dvorak and Qwerty refer to.

51]you have a PC for every person in the house, and still think you need one more. What if one goes down!?

52]you dream in code.

53]you not only know what Be OS is, you have an opinion about it.

54]you dual boot because you want to be able to play some of them there cool new games.

55]you bought a super socket-7 motherboard, not because you really needed it, but because you got it for only $40.00 via an online auction. Now you have a reason to build that extra computer you don't really need.

56]to you, the word "scuzzy" is sexy.

57]your girlfriend kisses you on the neck and you think "uh oh, priority interupt!".

58]you and the campus Unix Sysadmin have a geek contest.

59]...and you win.

60]you check your e-mail before you brush your teeth in the morning.

61]you believe Unix/Linux is the most superior operating system out there

62]you e-mail yourself notes rather than writing them...

63]...and you can justify the advantages of doing so.

64]...or you actually reply to the note.

65]you can program in more languages than you can speak.

66]you refer to your computer as a friend.

67]you can talk to your computer without being sarcastic or raising your voice.

68]you use old CD-ROMs as coasters...

69]...and you've collected a matching set for every room in your house.
 
Posted by Stibbons (Member # 2515) on October 21, 2004, 07:54:
 
I thought it would just be a laugh but it scares me as to how many of them apply to me [Geek] I really need to get out more...
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on October 21, 2004, 08:08:
 
I was gonna say the same. There's a few really lame ones, ie your girlfriend kissing you on the neck and you go, "priority interrupt" -- lets not kid ourselves, geeks don't have girlfriends!

[Razz]

But seriously, most of those describe me pretty well. *shudder*
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on October 21, 2004, 14:25:
 
34/69, not quite a pass.

/me slinks off to take a few geek 'catch-up' classes.
 
Posted by TMBWITW,PB (Member # 1734) on October 21, 2004, 14:36:
 
Only 17 for me. That's what I get for not being a computer geek. [Beard of Peter Gabriel!]
 
Posted by Alephcat (Member # 2617) on October 21, 2004, 15:56:
 
just a few little quibbles
quote:
4]you know what a router is, and you know what a bit is, but you've never heard of a router bit.
this does not really work as, being English, there is no such thing as a router bit as the pronunciations are different.
quote:
33]a 23 GB HD, color laser, four 128MB DIMMs, and a 21" monitor would beat out Sarah Michelle Gellar, Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham, and Cindy Crawford.
this one is a little dated now (I know that any harware related one, andsome software ones, will date very quickly, but hey)
this one is not a quibble really,
quote:
51]you have a PC for every person in the house, and still think you need one more. What if one goes down!?
that few? at last count we had at least 2 plus a server room full of bits, when we moved house recently the server room was the first room in the house to get finished (that is what comes of having parents who work with computers aswell).
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on October 21, 2004, 18:38:
 
36/69. And there may have been some I didn't want to admit to myself that were true [Wink]
 
Posted by Stibbons (Member # 2515) on October 21, 2004, 18:41:
 
44/69 [cry baby] I'm so ashamed...
 
Posted by Mr Bill (Member # 553) on October 21, 2004, 20:18:
 
How do I score this one:

4]you know what a router is, and you know what a bit is, but you've never heard of a router bit.

...if I know what all three are, and have the third one for a dremel?
 
Posted by zboy (Member # 2969) on October 21, 2004, 21:10:
 
I think my favorite part of this thread is that we are complaining cause it is outdated. So we need to upgrade the geek test.

Still it is pretty scarey how much of it is true.
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on October 21, 2004, 21:25:
 
quote:
Originally posted by zboy:
I think my favorite part of this thread is that we are complaining cause it is outdated. So we need to upgrade the geek test.

Still it is pretty scarey how much of it is true.

It's really not that outdated...still, bye-bye color laser, hellooooo Sarah Michelle Gellar!

Otherwise, looking at that list tells me that if ever I had a fear of losing my geekiness, I was wrong [Big Grin] .

Now, it's time for me to pull this into vim, so I can do a dd (later via '.') the lines that are true, and get a decent count...

Edit: Alright, I /think/ the answer is ~38/69, though I might have messed up the count a little.
P.S. I really need to stop thinking this web input box is vi - ^],Esc is not the right thing to hit in here...
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on October 21, 2004, 22:03:
 
:r ~/tmp/foo
2]you think {x<<6}+{x<<4} is a perfectly natural way to multiply by 80.
No, sorry, I'm just not that cool.
3]you've gutted and rebuilt your computer 5 times since you last changed the oil in your car.

My macs, yes - my server, hell no - what about my uptime?
4]you know what a router is, and you know what a bit is, but you've never heard of a router bit.

Sorry, I know what all of the above are. And in American English, they're all pronounced like the path of a road.
6]you consider 65536 and 256 "nice round numbers".

I'll count this as a yes, but I don't really believe it - these just aren't my favorite numbers [Wink] .
7]...and you *always* put the period outside the quotes, since you're not quoting the end of the sentence...what the hell do english majors know, anyway.

Whoops, I know a thing or two about grammar. The only exception I make to this is for referencing commands in backticks.
8]you see a good-looking girl and you DESPERATELY want her e-mail address so you can get to know her.

The e-mail address would be nice, but I'm realistic these days - the phone number would be *far* more useful.
9]you wake up and realize that your sleep pattern has been following an algorithm.

No, can't say I've ever felt that way.
10]your computer chair has the permanent and stiff indentation of your butt in it.

Uh...
12]you have assembled your own Linux distribution, and re-wrote some of the more inefficient code, just for fun. { Hmmm... it's a thought... }

Once again, not that cool - I use Debian and am quite happy with it.
13]every time someone says "I like iMacs" you get mad and shout out "So you only go for the looks, do you? Superficial guy! The inner qualities are what's important, not the looks! Beauty is only skin-deep!"

Dork.
16]given the choice between a T3 and a date with a good looking guy/girl, you'd take the T3.

I was actually contemplating that one, but just remembered that my cable modem is on part with a T3. My connection at work is /very fast/ now, so I'll go with the fairer choice.
18]you spend more time changing settings in Windows 98 than using it.

On *other people's* computers, yes - mine, no...see above about Debian [Big Grin] .
19]you get angry when someone says they own a Pentium IV processor.

Why would I get angry that they're using inferior technology? My Celery laptop and PIII server work just fine, thank you all the same. My P4 at work behaves pretty well, so anger doesn't come to mind.
20]your friends have a club with the word .com in it.

Nah, we rock the party with .org.
22]you think everyone should have an opinion about Bill Gates.

Don't we all?
23]you refer to having sex as setting up a LAN!

Nah, Linux commands are much more fitting.
24]you refer to eating and drinking as uploading!

Not that lame.
25]you understand and find www.ircnews.com funny.

Never been there. [dated]
27]you regard the "User Friendly" virus as a good thing.

Probably heard of it, but since forgot.
28]you've had an article appear at segfault.org.

Never been there. [dated]
29]you've figured out how to crash Windows NT on a 128MB system, using only Internet Explorer and Notepad.

Oh yeah. Just ask my boss about my early days working on an NT Server [Wink] .
30]you snicker whenever someone asks how much memory is needed for Windows NT to run smoothly.

Nah, 128 MB should do. It'll probably still fall apart.
33]a 23 GB HD, color laser, four 128MB DIMMs, and a 21" monitor would beat out Sarah Michelle Gellar, Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham, and Cindy Crawford.

See previous post - no.
36]your computer costs more and runs better than your car

No. Corolla-san is probably in better shape, though it really should get some routine maintenance soon.
37]your watch is set to GMT. Always. (After all, it's the only time that makes logical sense.)

I use my cell phone(s) these days - otherwise I might just consider it.
38]in real life, you tell people to go to http://www.hell.com/

No. I value having a job.
39]when you're reading a magazine and you see an underlined passage, you feel compelled to click on it.

Um, no. I have basic comprehension skills -- paper != web browser.
42]everytime you go to write a note, you put your hands on your desk, as if looking for a keyboard to type it on.

See #39.
43]you've ever debated the merits of the FVWM95 window manager...

s/FVWM95/Gnome|KDE/ - Yes.
44]you're grossly offended that anyone would want to make their Linux box work anything like Windows 95.

s/Win95/WinXP/ w.r.t. that XP GUI for Linux project - indeed. I use WindowMaker.
45]you wake up wondering which directory you're in.

Oro? Is this an analogy, or a serious comment about where you left off on the computer. If the later, there's no question, as I have good $PS1s, and know my dir. tree. If it's an analogy - also...no...too weird.
46]you set up your old computer next to your new one 2 months ago so that you could transfer files and you've been using them "both" since.

2 months ago - ha...try a couple of years now, w.r.t. my server and its hard drive. I still haven't bought a new HD for my laptop to change it out.
47]your wallpaper is made up of Linux code.

Nah, it's usually a picture of mine, or right now, it's a nice default Debian swirl.
48]your favorite pasttime is IRC on Saturday nights.

I /try/ not to do that. I'm going to go with 'no.'
49]your computer is set for Dvorak... but your keyboard is actually a qwerty.

Never learned it - don't see it happening, I use too many kbds.
54]you dual boot because you want to be able to play some of them there cool new games.

Nah - not much of a gamer.
55]you bought a super socket-7 motherboard, not because you really needed it, but because you got it for only $40.00 via an online auction. Now you have a reason to build that extra computer you don't really need.

[dated], and tempting as it is, no.
57]your girlfriend kisses you on the neck and you think "uh oh, priority interupt!".

No, not that much of a dweeb. OTOH - Girlfriend? What girlfriend? (+2, Insightful)
58]you and the campus Unix Sysadmin have a geek contest.

I *am* the campus Unix Sysadmin.
64]...or you actually reply to the note.

Isn't Gmail great?!
66]you refer to your computer as a friend.

Not quite - I probably speak of it in the 3rd person, though. ("My computer is doing so and so...")
68]you use old CD-ROMs as coasters...

Yep. Do I ever...
69]...and you've collected a matching set for every room in your house.

When upside down, they're almost all equal - I've got 3 on my desk @ work for my assorted mugs.

:wq
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on October 21, 2004, 23:36:
 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:

2]you think {x<<6}+{x<<4} is a perfectly natural way to multiply by 80.
No, sorry, I'm just not that cool.

No, you're just not that old.

I used to play those smart-arse tricks 20 years ago, in the era of non-optimising compilers and no hardware multiply instruction on the CPU. A couple of shifts and an add could easily be 10 times quicker than a multiply by 80.

These days, if you play that silly-bugger game, you can stuff-up the the optimiser, and actually end up with slower code.

/me doesn't miss the bad-old-days one little bit
 
Posted by Ahnyer Keester (Member # 3021) on October 22, 2004, 05:36:
 
OOps, I thought of a few more:

70] You’ve been able to recognize every bit of outdated equipment in this list.

71] You know and care that Wired magazine decided to stop capitalizing the words "internet" and "web".

72] You’re glad people interrupt your work with simple computer problems.
 
Posted by greycat (Member # 945) on October 22, 2004, 06:00:
 
I think, for the "ircnews" URL, you could probably substitute bash.org now.

I stopped counting about half way through. Some of these are pretty silly; others are rather insightful.
 
Posted by Mr. Dave (Member # 1977) on October 22, 2004, 22:03:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Mac D:
24]you refer to eating and drinking as uploading!

...usually followed several hours later by a good core dump.

I should probably be embarassed by this list, but I'm not, although I refuse to count... [blush]
 
Posted by ZorroTheFox (Member # 917) on October 23, 2004, 19:03:
 
73. The biggest screen in your house is on your monitor.
 
Posted by Mr. Dave (Member # 1977) on October 29, 2004, 11:44:
 
74. ...if you've ever powered your electric shaver from a UPS.
 
Posted by drunkennewfiemidget (Member # 2814) on October 29, 2004, 11:56:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Dave:
74. ...if you've ever powered your electric shaver from a UPS.

[evil]
 
Posted by Swiss Mercenary (Member # 330) on October 29, 2004, 18:29:
 
75: The microwave is your friend, otherwise how would you eat?
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on October 29, 2004, 19:15:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Dave:
74. ...if you've ever powered your electric shaver from a UPS.

Uh, why would you shave? [Big Grin]
 
Posted by R0x0r_G0dd3ss (Member # 3041) on November 16, 2004, 19:06:
 
Far...too...many....
Plus, I've just got these...sayings...where people know when they hear them, I'm that much of a geek.

Got into an accident the other day. Told the insurance people "I fragged my Pontiac!!!"
Among other things, like overclocking my brain after WAY too much caffiene...(like there's such a thing, yeah right.)

The car fragging though? That's just sad.
 
Posted by magefile (Member # 2918) on November 16, 2004, 21:10:
 
"7]...and you *always* put the period outside the quotes, since you're not quoting the end of the sentence...what the hell do english majors know, anyway."

Erm ... that's a British thing, too, isn't it? I know it's French, and I'm tempted to say German although I'm not positive. Actually, some publishers are switching to this. I'd bet O'reilly does it like that - I mean, who wants to tell the user to type "dd."?
 


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