This is topic Your valuables will be safe in these! in forum The Joke Bank! at The Geek Culture Forums!.


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Posted by Snaggy (Member # 123) on March 30, 2004, 16:33:
 
LMAO...

yes it is real... The Brief Safe

 -
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on March 30, 2004, 16:49:
 
That is where my underwear went.....
 
Posted by Xanthine (Member # 736) on March 30, 2004, 17:01:
 
Do they make a female version? [evil]
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 30, 2004, 17:09:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Do they make a female version? [evil]

Yeah, if only females had a secret compartment to store things in [Wink]
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on March 30, 2004, 17:55:
 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Do they make a female version? [evil]

Yeah, if only females had a secret compartment to store things in [Wink]
csk...They do, it is called a vagina.
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 30, 2004, 18:05:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Do they make a female version? [evil]

Yeah, if only females had a secret compartment to store things in [Wink]
csk...They do, it is called a vagina.
Dude, you gave away the secret! Now everyone will want one!

That was what I was alluding to, btw [evil]
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 30, 2004, 18:33:
 
Would now be a good time to point out that males also have a 'secret compartment'?

No, I thought not.
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on March 30, 2004, 18:38:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
Would now be a good time to point out that males also have a 'secret compartment'?

No, I thought not.

What, you mean such as this fine post?
http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=102262&cid=8719429
(which I should point out is in response to this)
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 30, 2004, 18:45:
 
Maybe he was meaning a different secret compartment. But it would be extremely painful, and only useful for very thin items. Ouch...
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on March 30, 2004, 19:37:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
Would now be a good time to point out that males also have a 'secret compartment'?

No, I thought not.

TFD Done some prision time have ya?
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 30, 2004, 19:42:
 
Us Aussies are a nation of criminals aren't we? At least that's what The Princess Bride taught me [Wink]
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on March 30, 2004, 19:45:
 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
Maybe he was meaning a different secret compartment. But it would be extremely painful, and only useful for very thin items. Ouch...

Curse thee for such horrible ideas (which regrettably occurred to me as well) - bad csk, bad! [Smile]
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 30, 2004, 19:48:
 
Have I told you about how they extracted my Kidney Stones ?
[Eek!] [cry baby] [weep] [thumbsdown]
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 30, 2004, 20:04:
 
Gross-out stories just aren't as much fun over the Internet. You don't get to see people's faces and reactions as you tell them.

That shouldn't discourage us, though [Big Grin]
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on March 30, 2004, 20:05:
 
Let me guess - they were the size of bowling balls, and the work was done by a guy named "Dr. N. Riviera," in a back alley in Peru, with only tequila as a weak anaesthetic, right? [evil]
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 30, 2004, 20:06:
 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
Let me guess - they were the size of bowling balls, and the work was done by a guy named "Dr. N. Riviera," in a back alley in Peru, with only tequila as a weak anaesthetic, right? [evil]

And apparently the kidney stones were big, too [evil]
 
Posted by Tut-an-Geek (Member # 1234) on March 30, 2004, 20:08:
 
Hey, did you go to Hollywood Up-Stairs Medical School too? [Wink]
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 30, 2004, 20:11:
 
19mm
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 30, 2004, 20:13:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
19mm

Oh, that's cruel. Now all those 'merkins will be hunting for their calculators to convert that to inches.
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on March 30, 2004, 20:14:
 
csk: Argh.**
TFD: OUCH!!! That's nearly a fscking inch*!

<Bill Clinton>I feel your pain</Bill Clinton>
(And if he felt that kind of pain, you know who he'd be calling up...)

*Pun kind of intended.
**Double-argh - you keep beating me to the punch with posts, so my post placement is off (and I try to avoid excessive quoting).
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 30, 2004, 22:41:
 
Now that none of the males reading this thread can walk properly, I feel I should confess that it was broken into smaller (but jaggy) chunks prior to removal.

One day when I feel like really making your eyes water, I'll describe the medical instrument they used to go get it.
 
Posted by Lumina Manson (Member # 1868) on March 31, 2004, 02:22:
 
This is a prime opportunity to use the gramaelin that is so desperately needed:

 -  -
 -

--Seriously, C.P.
 
Posted by Gibbonboy (Member # 2426) on March 31, 2004, 07:06:
 
I don't know about hiding valuables, but I'd love to leave a few pair of these laying on top of the stuff in my suitcase the next time I travel. I'd love to see the face of the TSA people when they make me open my bags.
 
Posted by csk (Member # 1941) on March 31, 2004, 07:19:
 
Wow, $9 US for a pair of soiled undies? Surely you could just make your own for cheaper? [Eek!]
 
Posted by quantumfluff (Member # 450) on March 31, 2004, 08:19:
 
TFD: Better you than me. Ouch. But 19mm sounds about right, proportionatly compared to my rabbit. He had a stone, which the vet "manipulated" out. At which point the bunny shot highly pressurized urine about 7 feet across the room. The stone was about the diameter of the little bunny weenie. So, yes, 19mm sounds right for a grown man. And scale up the pressure release and you could hit a second story window!
 
Posted by spungo (Member # 1089) on March 31, 2004, 08:23:
 
Oh, God... please tell me there are ways of avoiding kidney stones. My brother had them a while ago - and actually passed out with the pain at one point. I really do not want to get them... ever.
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on March 31, 2004, 10:16:
 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Oh, God... please tell me there are ways of avoiding kidney stones. My brother had them a while ago - and actually passed out with the pain at one point. I really do not want to get them... ever.

How to avoid kidney stones.

Avoid recreational drugs
Stay away from alcohol
Avoid sex

/me will be taking my chances
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 31, 2004, 14:29:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Oh, God... please tell me there are ways of avoiding kidney stones. My brother had them a while ago - and actually passed out with the pain at one point. I really do not want to get them... ever.

How to avoid kidney stones.

Avoid recreational drugs
Stay away from alcohol
Avoid sex

/me will be taking my chances

AFAIK none of the above will help, they're just an unavoidable side-effect of the chemistry in the kidneys. Quacks used to put you on a low-calcium diet afterwards, but research has shown that had almost no effect, and there are other quite serious consequences in later life.

The best thing is to have a Special Mutant Power that makes you immune from most of the pain.
(Hint: I have 2 of something that most of you only have one of.) [Wink] [Big Grin] [evil] [Cool] [thumbsup]
 
Posted by Cap'n Vic (Member # 1477) on March 31, 2004, 15:23:
 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
[QUOTE]
The best thing is to have a Special Mutant Power that makes you immune from most of the pain.
(Hint: I have 2 of something that most of you only have one of.) [Wink] [Big Grin] [evil] [Cool] [thumbsup]

Two sphincters??
 
Posted by GMx (Member # 1523) on March 31, 2004, 15:25:
 
Urethras? (or would that be urethrae)
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 31, 2004, 17:31:
 
quote:
Originally posted by GMx:
Urethras? (or would that be urethrae)

Ureters.
The ureter is the input channel into the bladder.
IANAQ but I believe the urethra is the output channel.
 
Posted by Xanthine (Member # 736) on March 31, 2004, 18:33:
 
Um TFD, everyone has two ureters...one for each kidney...
 
Posted by The Famous Druid (Member # 1769) on March 31, 2004, 20:51:
 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Um TFD, everyone has two ureters...one for each kidney...

Yes, I meant 2 per kidney.

<pot, call="kettle" colour="black">
geez, what a pedant!
</pot>
 
Posted by eDJ (Member # 1950) on March 31, 2004, 20:52:
 
Ermm, is someone experimenting with bodyheat to power an iPod? What does it have a thermocouple
as part of its design. Hmmm I guess the girls could have an iPod and a cellphone going constantly. [blush]

Can you imagine rectum rectifiers? or bridging one to another portal to boost cunductance? [crazy]

eDJ
 
Posted by dragonman97 (Member # 780) on March 31, 2004, 21:37:
 
eDJ - Uh...right...okay. Somehow I'd envision the following comment subsequent to that:
quote:

Are you charging your iPod, or are you just happy to see me?


 
Posted by eDJ (Member # 1950) on March 31, 2004, 22:48:
 
Yes Dragonman97, perhaps that could be...shall we say....a whole new "growth industry".

eDJ
 


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