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» The Geek Culture Forums!   » News, Reviews, Views!   » Our stupid lives   » Colonel Panic Gets Jury Duty!

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Author Topic: Colonel Panic Gets Jury Duty!
Colonel Panic
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1200

Icon 1 posted July 14, 2007 20:02      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm so proud to serve my country once more.

I'm sure more than a few curious geeks are thinking, "What is that opinionated old sot doing on a jury?"

Well, I'm bursting with nervous anticipation!

Any evidence the kid used video games to prime himself for the crime?

Guilty!

Any evidence the accused is a righty?

Guilty!

A southerner?

Guilty!

A born-again Christian caught once again in a compromising position with childeren?

Guilty!

Dick Cheney shoots another hunting buddy?

Guilty!

I'm really looking forward to this.

And to think. The prosecuting attorney in this county actually believes I have peers!

CP

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Free! Free at last!

Posts: 1809 | From: Glacier Melt, USA | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
stevenback7
SuperBlabberMouth!
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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2007 20:27      Profile for stevenback7   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well the person whos fate you will be deciding will be very happy to see you sitting there.

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Comic Book Guy: There is no emoticon for what i'm feeling.

Posts: 1199 | From: Canada eh? | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2007 20:29      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've been called to jury duty twice, both times I was told to be available on certain dates, both times I got a call the week before and told I wasn't needed.

Pissed off really, I was looking forward to behaving as CP describes above. [Wink]

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10702 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2007 20:54      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I got called in for jury duty last month. It was a felony theft case. I was on the list until the prosecutor told us that under CO law circumstantial and direct evidence must be weighted equally. I told her I'd do my best to obey the law, but due to my science training I had deep and visceral problems with that. The defense attorney actually GRINNED at me (methinks the prosecution's case was largely based on circumstantial evidence).

They had our names on a seating chart. From where I was sitting, I had a good look at what the prosecutor was doing when she started striking names off the chart. Mine was the first to get axed. This was a relief because I had to go in about three days after I came back from Alaska and I have no idea what kind of terrible things my adviser would have done to me if I had to sit a trial right after three weeks of vacation

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
quantumfluff
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2007 21:51      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I got kicked off a jury quickly for a similar reason. Once you start explaining how you weigh the evidence (or rules) differently than the courts might I don't think anyone wants you there.
Posts: 2902 | From: 5 to 15 meters above sea level | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
Metasquares
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Icon 1 posted July 15, 2007 15:42      Profile for Metasquares   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
I got called in for jury duty last month. It was a felony theft case. I was on the list until the prosecutor told us that under CO law circumstantial and direct evidence must be weighted equally. I told her I'd do my best to obey the law, but due to my science training I had deep and visceral problems with that. The defense attorney actually GRINNED at me (methinks the prosecution's case was largely based on circumstantial evidence).
They had our names on a seating chart. From where I was sitting, I had a good look at what the prosecutor was doing when she started striking names off the chart. Mine was the first to get axed. This was a relief because I had to go in about three days after I came back from Alaska and I have no idea what kind of terrible things my adviser would have done to me if I had to sit a trial right after three weeks of vacation

It's funny; I've heard that doing research essentially exempts you from compulsory jury duty from no less than 5 people now. Apparently they really don't want the scientific method on the bench [Smile]

I always thought it would be sort of fun if it came at the right time, but I think I'd also have problems with circumstantial evidence, not because of my training as a scientist, but as a statistician.

Posts: 664 | From: Morganville, NJ | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted July 15, 2007 15:51      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think a statistician would be even less desirable than a scientist in the jury box. You'd know ALL the tricks...

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted July 15, 2007 16:03      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
I think a statistician would be even less desirable than a scientist in the jury box. You'd know ALL the tricks...

Well, they know 2 or 3 moderately unlikely events in a row doesn't constitute proof, which is enough to blow many 'circumstantial evidence' prosecutions out of the water.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10702 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
macmcseboy

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Icon 1 posted July 15, 2007 20:30      Profile for macmcseboy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I served my bit... My new job as a Technician and my schooling, did NOT get me excused. It was so long ago, 9 years... Too bad here in Canada jurors cannot talk even after a case is done....

All I can say is the two fucktards I sent to the slammer were guilty on all counts.

I missed two weeks of school.... because it was a Private Post Secondary School.....did I mention, that Jury pay was 20$ a day plus meals.... that was two weeks in hell...

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Live long and prosper.

Posts: 1151 | From: Victoria BC... | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted July 16, 2007 12:58      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ohhhh. I was called twice and served both times. First one was a first degree murder trial. Second time around was co-accused 2nd degree murder. Pretty eye opening experiences though and I'd do it again if asked to.
Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
spungo
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Icon 1 posted July 16, 2007 14:11      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Anyone know how to avoid it in the first place? I've never been called, but then I try to keep off things like electoral registers and stuff (it rarely pays to get tracked down). I'd be interested to learn of any sure-fire ways of never getting the knock, as it were.
Posts: 6530 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted July 16, 2007 14:57      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't know how it works in Canada, but if you never want to get called for jury duty in the US all you have to do is don't register to vote and don't get a driver's license or state ID card.

Doesn't seem like an even exchange to me though.

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

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Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted July 16, 2007 15:52      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Anyone know how to avoid it in the first place? I've never been called, but then I try to keep off things like electoral registers and stuff (it rarely pays to get tracked down). I'd be interested to learn of any sure-fire ways of never getting the knock, as it were.

Well during the selection I got to hear about 200 excuses. Using you job/school as an excuse didn't wash. The judge was somewhat sympathetic to those who mentioned it would cause undue financial hardship. One guy (who really is a crazy street person) was rambling about UFOs and stuff and he got to walk as did a skate punk who claimed he 'just didn't wanna do it' and everyone in the court started laughing. Spungo, if called you could always wear your "I love sheep" shirt.

Apparently the list here is made up of the voting list, taxpayers, Drivers licenses etc.

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted July 16, 2007 16:55      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Anyone know how to avoid it in the first place? I've never been called, but then I try to keep off things like electoral registers and stuff (it rarely pays to get tracked down). I'd be interested to learn of any sure-fire ways of never getting the knock, as it were.

Well, I expect if you said something like "Trials are a waste of taxpayers money - if he wasn't guilty, he wouldn't have been arrested. Hang the [email protected]@rd."† you'd get off.

&dagger - in jury-avoidance circles, this is known as 'The ASM Gambit'.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10702 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted July 16, 2007 17:13      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Just show up in a torn short, blood-stained shirt and refuse to answer any questions about it. I guarantee you won't see jury duty.

... of course you may not see your own bed for a few days either, but they'll eventually let you go.

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged


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