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Author Topic: Cooks, writes, speaks in complete sentences...
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted August 13, 2004 11:13      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
... and knows enough to let the cords lay where they lie (or lie where they lay? hmm, gotta look up that one). In any case, maybe the slogan should be "Free to a good home?"

Seriously, though, I'm hiring out myself to the highest bidder. I have all sorts of legitimate talents (a resume's posted on /.) but I'm looking for that "perfect job." I love to write and interact with people, but I also love to mess around with computers. I'm not opposed to relocating; in fact, I'd prefer it. If you have any ideas or offers, I'd love to discuss them with you.

And really, this post is only slightly in jest. [ohwell]

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted August 13, 2004 12:05      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
How do you like farms? [Smile]

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted August 13, 2004 12:10      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Please post an arse pic, and I'll be sure to get back to you. [Big Grin]

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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ooby
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Icon 1 posted August 13, 2004 12:37      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Eats shoots and leaves.

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"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2004 14:59      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, Spungo, I like farms (I've an ag comm minor after all), but I doubt they're the kind you have.

Mom's sending me to counseling (which I have to pay on my own, of course), charging room and board, and requiring me to find a job that has a punch clock and health insurance. All quite acceptable, but the pressure to do all of this right away is awful. Plus I have to live with her anger at my failure to find and keep a job after college. If anyone can say "ill" for the past two weeks, that'd be me. [weep]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2004 16:19      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
Mom's sending me to counseling (which I have to pay on my own, of course), charging room and board, and requiring me to find a job that has a punch clock and health insurance. All quite acceptable, but the pressure to do all of this right away is awful. Plus I have to live with her anger at my failure to find and keep a job after college. If anyone can say "ill" for the past two weeks, that'd be me. [weep]

Is there a distinct possibility that you have spent a large part of your life having to live up to other's expectations of you?

I would have to go to counseling too. [crazy]

In seriousness. It does sound like it is time to pack the bags and do a Kerouac. Good luck on the hunt for meaningful and consistant work.

They are common expectations of any parent. The tough part is trying to do it on their schedule.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

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csk

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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2004 16:31      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Rhonwyyn, my advice would be to run to the nearest bookstore (Christian ones definitely have it, and I've seen it at secular ones too) and grab a copy of "Boundaries" (looks a lot like this)

I've recently read it (on my counsellor's suggestion), and it has completely changed (for the better) my relationship with my parents. I wish I'd read it months ago, maybe things would have turned out differently (but probably not).

In any case, I hope that your situation works out for you. Good luck!

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6 weeks to go!

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Chesty
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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2004 21:08      Profile for Chesty         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I might suggest cutting the old umbilical. Standing on your own two feet beats the crap out of sitting with a counselor any time.

What's wrong with people? If your parents let you mooch in their house past 18 they are doing you a disservice. Get out! Get very out!

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 12:07      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I suggest finding a job, any job, that pays enough to get you out of the house and into a holding pattern until the "perfect one" appears.

So speaketh she who was so afraid of the job market when she graduated that she ran away and hid herself in a PhD program... Then again, the jobs I want require doctorates, and, anyways, I'd rather eat dogfood than live with my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but I also love being on my own.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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ooby
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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 13:01      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Speaking of living on one's own...

Tommorrow is settlement on my condo. I am in bunches.

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"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 13:38      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yea, I'm going to have to go and agree with everyone else in here. I love my parents dearly, and I get along wonderfully with them, but before my 18th birthday, I was out the door living on my own.

Parents are great, and mine are especially great, but I don't want to live in their home any more than I have to -- the rent is cheap, and dinner's always made, but there's just something else about your freedom, and for some reason, I get along better with them when I don't live there.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 7 posted August 19, 2004 19:23      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, newfie, I definitely hear you about getting along better with your fam when you don't live with them. I do the cooking and some of the cleaning here, not to mention pay for the cell phones, but you know, it doesn't quite cut it.

I had a job interview this morning for something I think I'd like to do, so if you'd please pray that I'd land a good job (interesting stuff to do and good benefits), I'd really appreciate it. One of my friends from high school and I really want to get a house together but neither of us are in the financial picture to do it. Plus, my mom's a single parent so I want to send home a sizable chunk of my paycheck to support her. Until then, she's supporting me during the weeks (months? I hope not!) that I don't have a job.

On the bright side, my pastor's wife and I will be meeting regularly to exercise our bodies and our souls. We'll be working through a book about spiritual bondage and/or how to live right in this world. CSK, the book you recommended looks interesting, so I'll have to check it out. Unfortunately for me, 'tis easy to read the book but harder to absorb it and put it into practice. I wish these great books would be novels: I understand the concepts so much better that way!

Thanks for all of your encouragement, y'all! It really means a lot to me. (Hmm... must get a life? [Eek!] )

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 19:45      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Must keep mind out of gutter....

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 20:03      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:

On the bright side, my pastor's wife and I will be meeting regularly to exercise our bodies and our souls. We'll be working through a book about spiritual bondage

Zorro is a pastor ?

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 20:08      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Argh, how'd I know you guys would totally miss the forest for the trees on this post? Yet, I hoped you'd be willing to skip the crude jesting for once. Guess I was wrong. [shake head]

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Allan
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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 20:35      Profile for Allan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
I hoped you'd be willing to skip the crude jesting for once.

Nah, it's what we live for [Smile]
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csk

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Icon 1 posted August 19, 2004 21:21      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
Yeah, newfie, I definitely hear you about getting along better with your fam when you don't live with them. I do the cooking and some of the cleaning here, not to mention pay for the cell phones, but you know, it doesn't quite cut it.

Yep, I'd agree with newfie, the sooner you can practically move out the better. Note part of practically = being able to afford it, though.
quote:

I had a job interview this morning for something I think I'd like to do, so if you'd please pray that I'd land a good job (interesting stuff to do and good benefits), I'd really appreciate it. One of my friends from high school and I really want to get a house together but neither of us are in the financial picture to do it. Plus, my mom's a single parent so I want to send home a sizable chunk of my paycheck to support her. Until then, she's supporting me during the weeks (months? I hope not!) that I don't have a job.

Hope that things work out for you, I'll be thinking of and praying for you.
quote:

On the bright side, my pastor's wife and I will be meeting regularly to exercise our bodies and our souls. We'll be working through a book about spiritual bondage and/or how to live right in this world.

Excellent! [thumbsup] Mentoring by an older, wiser head is a good thing.
quote:

CSK, the book you recommended looks interesting, so I'll have to check it out. Unfortunately for me, 'tis easy to read the book but harder to absorb it and put it into practice. I wish these great books would be novels: I understand the concepts so much better that way!

Trust me, it's very readable. The "boundaries with spouse" and "boundaries with your children" chapters may be less helpful at this stage, but the rest you should find top-notch.
quote:

Thanks for all of your encouragement, y'all! It really means a lot to me. (Hmm... must get a life? [Eek!] )

No worries [Smile] I'm just proving I can be serious, in between asking for pictures of people's butts and exploring multiple personalities [Wink]

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6 weeks to go!

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted August 26, 2004 14:16      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So it's been a while and a lot's happened.

Today's the first day in at least two weeks that I haven't cried--an anomaly for me because up until this year I hardly ever cried. I don't know why the tears have dried up, but I don't really feel like anything's been fixed.

I interviewed (and was accepted) at a telemarketing place yesterday, so if I take it I'd have a regular job. Unfortunately, I feel really trapped by it: 1 pm to 9 pm, Monday through Friday and every other Saturday. No benefits. Pay based on attendance and sales. It really isn't my kind of job, but I feel like I have to take it 'cause it's my only offer right now. Mom's charging me $50 a week for rent, but for someone without much income and no health insurance that's a bundle.

I met a man today who owns his own stable. After years of working for someone else, he made his dream come true. He told me not to take the telemarketing job if it's not my passion (and offered me some work at his stables if his wife agrees).

So what do I do? I really feel intimidated by the rigidness of the telemarketing job and feel like I'd only be working for the money there. Training starts on Monday next week (3 pm to 9 pm), so I'd need to change my initial therapy session (yay for sliding fee scales!) 'cause it's scheduled for the afternoon. I don't want to incur my mother's wrath, disappointment, and belief of my "failure," though. (And no, I can't afford to move out, either.) What do I do?

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted August 26, 2004 14:25      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
First, I gotta say, my girlfriend recently had a telemarketing job. She lasted there less than 3 months before she got sick and tired of getting screamed at by people who don't want to be bothered, and quit. She now has a much better job.

I also find it mildly disappointing that your parents would be upset with you for not taking a job you genuinely don't want to do. Although a lot of us do it (fortunately, I'm not included), no one should have to go to work and hate it every day. That's awful. I would suggest you tell your mother that you will find a better job, you just need the time to keep looking.

Parents who charge their kids rent I don't have a problem with as long as A) it's reasonable and B) if the kid is out of a job, but actively seeking one, or in school, the parent allows the kid to slide without owing anything. Parents are supposed to be supportive. I know all parents have their different methods of assisting, but I think forcing you into a job you don't want and hanging "having to pay rent" over your head are neither helpful nor motivating.

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csk

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Icon 1 posted August 26, 2004 15:43      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
So it's been a while and a lot's happened.

Today's the first day in at least two weeks that I haven't cried--an anomaly for me because up until this year I hardly ever cried. I don't know why the tears have dried up, but I don't really feel like anything's been fixed.

Emotions are weird like that. I had one counselling session where I bawled my eyes out, was emotionally distraught for the next day or two, and then have been fine since. I've decided that (for me) emotions happen, they're not something that can be predicted or controlled, so I just roll with that.

quote:

I interviewed (and was accepted) at a telemarketing place yesterday, so if I take it I'd have a regular job. Unfortunately, I feel really trapped by it: 1 pm to 9 pm, Monday through Friday and every other Saturday. No benefits. Pay based on attendance and sales. It really isn't my kind of job, but I feel like I have to take it 'cause it's my only offer right now. Mom's charging me $50 a week for rent, but for someone without much income and no health insurance that's a bundle.

I met a man today who owns his own stable. After years of working for someone else, he made his dream come true. He told me not to take the telemarketing job if it's not my passion (and offered me some work at his stables if his wife agrees).

I'd tend to agree with both stable guy and dnm's post above. If your mother is so worried about whether you "fail" or not, why is she pressuring you into taking a job where you aren't going to have the motivation to succeed in the first place? I also think it's a bit harsh to charge you board when you're unemployed, but that's her decision, I guess.

quote:

So what do I do? I really feel intimidated by the rigidness of the telemarketing job and feel like I'd only be working for the money there. Training starts on Monday next week (3 pm to 9 pm), so I'd need to change my initial therapy session (yay for sliding fee scales!) 'cause it's scheduled for the afternoon. I don't want to incur my mother's wrath, disappointment, and belief of my "failure," though. (And no, I can't afford to move out, either.) What do I do?

Hmm, tough one. I'd be talking to your mother, and explaining the situation from your POV. Something along the lines of "I'm really keen to enter the world of work, and I think that will be good for me, my sense of achievement and confidence, and my independence. But to do that, I feel I need the independence to make my own decision about the career I get myself into. I don't want to be so picky about what job I take that I'll never take one, but I don't want to take just any job that comes along, either.". And if your mother asks what she can do/not do to help, tell her honestly.

If you have any long term plans/goals, share them with her, too. For example, if you are intending to get a job, and once settled move out of home, mention that too. It may help to put her mind at ease that you can take care of yourself, you're a adult now, and she doesn't have to worry/interfere.

Of course all this is easier said than done (I'm currently going through much the same thing), but it is worthwhile and worth the effort, trust me on this one.

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6 weeks to go!

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CommanderShroom
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Icon 2 posted August 26, 2004 17:43      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
NOOOO!!!

Don't fall under the evil spell of consistant paycheck hell!!

Honestly, jobs like that take a certain mentality. And from what I have read of your posts you don't have it. A telemarketing gig is a step up for people that are pretty much cool with the fast food scene.

If you don't want you have one of two choices. Don't take it and try to get the job at the stable. Or take it and hold on while you search for something else. Trust me when I say that a miserable job does grow on you. Kinda like untreated cancer. [Smile]

And I think from the emotional turmoil you are experiencing, that you know it too in your heart of hearts.

Explain your feelings to you mom. She may or may not understand. But, at least your side of the street is clean. I understand that you wish to do what you can for her, but at what expense?

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted August 27, 2004 20:49      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, I called the telemarketing place today and told them that I have too much on my calendar this week so they should put me on their list for the next training class. I'm hugely relieved that I don't have that to dread. Now I'm just dealing with a nasty cold and rent that's soon due, plus the damage to my reputation because I can't get and keep a full-time job.

I would really like to relocate. If any of you ever have leads (writing, voice talent, editing, proofreading, computer help desk, Internet research, etc.), would you please let me know?

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted August 28, 2004 12:56      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Rhonwyyn,
Why don't you head over to Monster.com and run a search in your area? There are plenty of jobs in and around Philadelphia; you're pretty much guaranteed to get an interview as long as your resume and cover letter are in good order. Just make sure you email them to the recruiter directly instead of using the monster.com online application.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted August 28, 2004 20:31      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmm, I've been trying monster, but I'll definitely do the reply to recruiter thing instead of "apply online." Most of the jobs in Philly have been marketing and I've had interviews with two companies but nothing really interesting.

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted August 29, 2004 06:07      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Rhonwyyn,

Do you know anyone that does work in the types of industries that you are interested in? Remember the whole"who you know" line. I have never had a job through Monster. The only reason I am a tech at the school district I work for is I made the right friends in the right places doing a lower paying position.

How's your BS skills? That is a very helpful skill. Perhaps they should create a course called Car Salesman(woman) 101. Anyone that makes it in that industry has a way of making you feel like a friend very quickly.

Walk into a place that you are interested in and give them your resume. Talk with the secretary or, if possible, the head of HR. Make sure that you try to find a commmon like (avoid dislikes) and speak lightly for a few minutes. Avoid talking too long, keep it under 2-3 minutes. Never talk too deeply about your family or situations and make sure that your goal is clearly understood. What that does is it makes an impression and keeps you in their memory. And when something comes up you may be first on the list.

The problem with relocating cross coutry or even to another state is the financial burden. If you have a good nest-egg it's possible, unfortunately it sounds like you are just making it and are occasionally behind. It can be done. And I have done it a couple of times. It can be a very sobering experience though.

Good luck with everything, Rhonwyyn. And keep us in the loop with how it goes.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

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