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Author Topic: Why don't I know what I want?
TSG
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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2007 06:44      Profile for TSG     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This is going to ramble. My apologies in advance.

I'm 42 years old. I've been separated from my ex for 3 years. I've been out on exactly 2 dates in the last three years, and have spent two weekends with a friend (and by spent the weekend, you know what that means).

I'm not actively looking. It's not that I don't want to. I just don't. I don't think it's fear, but it might be. I don't think it's apathy, but it might be.

I don't know why I don't know what I want.

I'm not one of these women who have to be partnered or married. It'd be nice to have someone to spend time with but I'm not all nutso about it.

Maybe it is apathy.

Anyone ever been through something similar? Where you just either don't care, or don't care enough?

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Great friendships can only exist between equals

Posts: 68 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged
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Highlie
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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2007 06:55      Profile for business attire     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
as long as you're not a hermit, you're fine. who cares?

I mean, if you have a thriving social life, a handful of close friends, and you're happy, then who says you need a boyfriend/husband/fuck buddy?

Posts: 619 | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
stevenback7
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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2007 08:53      Profile for stevenback7   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My advice would be just to not worry about it. Be yourself and do the things you want to do. If a guy comes along then fine but if no one shows up then don't worry about that either. Just try and populate your pool of friends with a balanced assortment of men and women.

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Posts: 1199 | From: Canada eh? | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
spungo
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2007 09:34      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TSG:
Anyone ever been through something similar? Where you just either don't care, or don't care enough?

Been there, done that... am still doing that.

I have long suspected that we can rationalize all day long, we can blame apathy, stubbornness, common sense, whatever -- but ultimately this is tantamount to avoidance: what we may be touching upon is nothing less than full-frontal, semi-conscious, all singing all dancing, just-too-big-to-see properly, honest to goodness __FEAR__. Yes, Ma'am. Fear, in all it's ugly, gut-wrenching, staring-at-the-Sun blindingness. Of course, it's virtually impossible to know this for sure.

It's too late for me ( [Wink] ), but you can always do something about it. [Smile]

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BooBooKitty

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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2007 10:57      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm sorta going through that right now. I figure that as long as you're happy with whom you are and enjoy the time spent with family and friends doing what you want then having a special someone to share it all with would just be icing on the cake.

Personally, I don't feel that I *need* to find someone for the sake of being with someone. So until that someone happens along, I'll just continue being as I am. :-)

Posts: 796 | From: Montreal, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
fs

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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2007 11:09      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It seems like you are bothered because you don't care that you aren't involved. Maybe you should think about why you think you should be unhappy/lonely/looking? If they can be distilled down to "Lifetime Television for Women says so" then probably you don't need to pursue it any further.

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Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
TSG
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Icon 1 posted July 18, 2007 09:06      Profile for TSG     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't think it's a Lifetime moment. I think it's a "I'm 42 years old, what's wrong with me" moment.

And I think it passed /grin

Thanks for your words, guys.

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Great friendships can only exist between equals

Posts: 68 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged


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