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Author Topic: FW: LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

Member Rated:
5
Icon 3 posted February 08, 2006 19:55      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Law of the Chance Encounter - The chances of meeting someone important you know is inversely proportional to the amount of time you spent on your appearance.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of our act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Posts: 8169 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

Solid Gold SuperFan!
Member # 2854

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted February 08, 2006 20:07      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Law of Cooking: The phone will always ring when you're in the middle of deboning cooked chicken.

--------------------
Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

Posts: 3851 | From: Lancaster, PA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
supaboy
SuperFan!
Member # 183

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted February 09, 2006 07:44      Profile for supaboy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Snaggy:
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Mechanical Repair: Yup! Happens every time, or when I've just picked up one end of something heavy to move.

Workshop: There is enough stuff in the engine bay of my car that a dropped tool will usually not make it all the way to the ground.

Result: It frustrates users when they can't demonstrate a problem to me. [Smile]

Lockers: I avoid the lockers near the benches for this reason.

Wilson's: I found a pair of running shoes I really liked. When they wore out, only the manufacturer's outlet store had a pair (and only one pair) left in a size I could use. Fortunately, the colors on the women's version of the shoe weren't too bad, and since I could run 5K in 20 minutes then, there weren't too many people fast enough to give me grief about it.

Posts: 1767 | From: Columbia, SC USA | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Grummash

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 4289

Icon 1 posted February 09, 2006 12:19      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The first time you actually need that useless little doodad, will be the day after you finally threw it out.

The likelihood of your printer running out of ink is directly proportional to the importance of the document you want to print.

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged


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