homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums!


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums!   » News, Reviews, Views!   » The Joke Bank!   » You might be a redneck if:

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: You might be a redneck if:
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 10 posted October 19, 2004 18:56      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night
5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
8 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen
start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much
gas is in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.  -
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
22 If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart...
23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V...
24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler...
25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table...
26 If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart.
27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home...
28 If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of improvement...
29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher
30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin?"
31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty...
32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you
take them out to see what it is.
34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.
35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.

--------------------
(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Too Cool To Quit
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 2217

Icon 1 posted October 19, 2004 20:12      Profile for Too Cool To Quit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:

35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.

Round here you don't hear 'bout too mucha that. Most times you hear 'bout some ole yankee tryin' grandma's rheumatid medicine and bein' too drunk to blink their eyes.

--------------------
Alright now, that's the last straw, I'm calling the ass taxidermist to tell him to stop making hats in your size RIGHT NOW.

Posts: 1097 | From: North Carolina | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted October 19, 2004 20:50      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:

25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table...

That one also applies to college students. [Razz]

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 19, 2004 20:54      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:

25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table...

That one also applies to college students. [Razz]
Yeah, I read that, and thought, "Hey, that's not too bad an idea." I'd only use that in a desperate crunch, and only if it could be properly lowered, and covered with a tablecloth that went to the floor. If I had a board to put on top that made it rectangular, it'd be *perfect* [Smile] .

/me thinks he should be coming up with better ideas about less silly stuff. Back to thoughts of rewiring some things - I just found and removed my old 10Base2 wiring the other day!

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
greycat

Member # 945

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted October 20, 2004 06:07      Profile for greycat   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
23. If your working computer sits on top of your non-working computer...

... you might be a geek! [Geek]
Posts: 1522 | From: Ohio, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
MTB Babe
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 2297

Member Rated:
5
Icon 6 posted October 20, 2004 07:12      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:

19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Hey whats wrong with that??? Its called RECYCLING!
[crazy] [Big Grin]

--------------------
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

Posts: 1003 | From: State College, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Mac D
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 2926

Icon 1 posted October 20, 2004 07:38      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Originally posted by: greycat
quote:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
23. If your working computer sits on top of your non-working computer...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... you might be a geek!

Just an FYI it sits NEXT to the working one hehe

And what if it's more then one? I have allot of nonworking computers for parts. I was thinking about scatering them on the front lawn. Would that make me a redneck geek or maby a geekneck.

--------------------
There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

Posts: 1449 | From: Where I am is very relative to my location at that time. | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 20, 2004 08:24      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mac D:

And what if it's more then one? I have allot of nonworking computers for parts. I was thinking about scatering them on the front lawn. Would that make me a redneck geek or maby a geekneck.

Only if you use old cases to make dog houses. [Big Grin]

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2472 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
ooby
Highlie
Member # 2603

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 20, 2004 08:56      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:

5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

I resemble that remark!

--------------------
"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

Posts: 680 | From: South Jersey | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted October 20, 2004 21:22      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So, uh, did the Cap'n edit that list to be more geek-friendly?

Anyway, it just finally hit me...the laptop I'm using to compose this post is sitting right on top of a server that is turned off. I can't say that it is a 'non-working' computer, it just has not cords hooked up to it, nor an operating system loaded in any way, shape, or form. Other than that, it's doing just great [Big Grin] . Right behind it, however, is my non-working Mac. That is non-working because I had some /great/ ideas on how I could get it up and running quickly, as a replacement to my other old Mac, which summarily busted the OSes on both boxen's HDs. *sigh*

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time  
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2018 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam