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Author Topic: FW: memo from Osama

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

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Icon 10 posted May 19, 2004 12:05      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
From:  Bin Laden, Osama  

To:    All Al Queda Fighters  

Subject:   The Cave, Do Not Distribute Outside The Organisation.  

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns: 


First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so  we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rotation ..have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster). 


Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the s**t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background  or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks. 


Third:  Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying. 


Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey.  Thanks. 


Five:  Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F***S DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain. 


Six:  The use of chickens is strictly for food.  Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.) 


Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them.  First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave. 


Love you lots, 


Group Hug. 



PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

Posts: 8181 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged

Member # 1234

Icon 1 posted May 19, 2004 18:57      Profile for Tut-an-Geek   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dave... hehe!

Posts: 3764 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 392

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Icon 10 posted May 20, 2004 16:17      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Osama's bed linen LOL now my keyboard and screen are full of coke spray.

Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

Posts: 1694 | From: The TARDIS | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged

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