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Author Topic: Elitist Babies
MacManKrisK

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Icon 2 posted December 08, 2009 18:28      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've assembled a choir for Christmas Midnight Mass. It's been challenging this year trying to twist arms to get people to join.

Anyway, *AFTER* practices had started and we'd already gotten together and practiced, this guy (let's call him Frank, to protect the stupid and annoying) calls me up and asks if he can come to Midnight Mass and sing "O Holy Night," solo, by himself.

This is the exact same guy that called me last year, 2 days before Christmas, to request the same thing. Last year's answer was "no," but this year he offered to come sing in the choir, and knowing how badly I needed choir members, I agreed.

Frank sent me an e-mail after practice Monday night:
quote:
Hello Kris!

(Frank), here... Again, my apologies for arriviing late this past evening.. At any rate, hey, I was looking at the program this evening (it was included in my music). Are you still allowing me to sing "Oh, Holy Night?" I didn't see it posted.

I was going to e-mail him back this afternoon and explain to him that the lineup had been typed and printed before he had ever contacted me about "O Holy Night" and that's why it wasn't on there, and that it should go in with the prelude songs before Mass starts.

Before I could e-mail him, though, (in fact, barely 12 hours after he sent his e-mail), he called me at work (on one of the most stressful days I've ever had here, to boot) and asked the same thing he put in his e-mail. I mistakenly told him that we'd use "O Holy Night" as a postlude (that is, *after* Mass) rather than a prelude (before Mass). It was an honest mistake, I'm just having a really shitty day today... nothing is working right...

Then I got this e-mail from him about 4 hours later:
quote:
Hello Kris,

(Frank), here, again. Listen, after we spoke today about my singing "Oh, Holy Night", it occured to me that where you want me to sing it "Postlude" is when everyone is walking out and not listening, but actually greeting everyone, etc- Not a great place for that song.


So, I figure you probably didn't want it in the first place. Since I'll not be singing it at the service, I won't be singing in your choir either. I'll return the music before next Monday.


I wish you well,

(Frank)

OMFG! What an elitist prick!

I mean, I misspoke, and that caused an issue, but he's basically saying "Well, if I can't sing 'O Holy Night' then I'm not going to sing with your choir either." [shake head]

Is it me, or are some people just big, spoiled babies?

--------------------
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Posts: 2331 | From: Southwest Michigan, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted December 08, 2009 18:50      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
They are big spoiled babies.

And you can never keep them all happy. So don't bother. Do what you think is right and be happy in that decision. Because you are gonna piss someone off no matter what you choose.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted December 08, 2009 20:29      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
An aspiring soloist acting like a primadonna, whoda thunkit?
You're better off without him in the choir, a choir is a team, one rampaging ego can ruin the whole performance.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Ashitaka

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Icon 1 posted December 09, 2009 01:04      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
well, can he sing?

I love o holy night sung by a barritone. Jussi Björling was the greatest with this song. ( though my recording is in swedish)

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MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted December 09, 2009 09:18      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ash: yes, he can sing, but I think TFD's point about being "part of the team" is closer to what bugs me about him.

The unfortunate thing is that he *can* sing, really really really really well. And I let my artistic side ("oh, the choir will sound so nice with him in it") get ahead of the true goals of a church choir.

It's obvious to me that he's not there to aid in the two primary objectives of a church choir; those being:
  • Glorify God
  • Lead the Congregation in worship

He's obviously there to glorify himself and has no interest in actually helping to lead anyone except himself.

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted December 09, 2009 17:01      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
MMKK - the guy is a prick.

My assessment is that he needs you more than you need him, so, if he has withdrawn the offer of his services,then he has saved you the hassle of suggesting, at some point in the future, that he should find a different choir more suited to his needs.

You are the musical director - it is your decision whether to go with an under-strength choir who are there to worship, or to pander to individuals who want to further their own agendas.

You can guess my position from the way I have phrased my reply, but, I will add this final comment - trusting your own judgement has worked out fine so far, hasn't it?

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted December 09, 2009 17:54      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ MMKK, I do not think that there is a good way to handle the situation, Yes you may have made him angry, yes he may leave the Congregation. However he may have caused many more to quit also. Its one of those loose or loose.

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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Richard Wolf VI
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Icon 10 posted December 09, 2009 20:54      Profile for Richard Wolf VI   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Soloist in a choir, that's quite a rare occurrence. I personally know how much of diva-like they can become and I wouldn't give up much hopes on them working in a choir. I hope you can sort things up for your Xmas concert, MMKK ^^

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MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted December 10, 2009 12:03      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Update: The parish director (Gloria) just sent me this e-mail (again, names withheld to protect the arrogant and stupid):
quote:
Irene (Smith) (mother of (Frank)) dropped of the song book and cd for Christmas that I guess you gave to her son last night - he is apparently not satisfied with whatever plan you gave him so he will not be participating. I left the notebook in the main office by the mailboxes.

Gloria

His MOTHER?! Seriously?! This guy is like 35-40 years old! This explains a lot.

I replied to Gloria with:
quote:
Thanks Gloria,

Whatever.

(Frank) is a big whiny baby that doesn't want to play along with anyone else in my choir. After discussing this issue with Fr. Phil, we have both decided that his "participation" would be more a detriment than an aid. If he calls for me, please inform him that I am out of the office and will return his call at my earliest convenience (which, confidentially, is never).

Thank you for the message.

Problem resolved itself.

(Edit to add)
Gloria just replied to me with:
quote:
Got it - like mother, like son [Smile]
[shake head]

(Edit again to add more)
MoMan: He is NOT part of our congregation, and I don't even think he's Catholic, so I'm not particularly sad to see him go.

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


Posts: 2331 | From: Southwest Michigan, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted December 10, 2009 12:38      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ MMKK, I once held the title of facilities manager, the point person for heating,plumbing, and Electrical problems. Then we got a new head deacon who knew he could get better prices than I was getting. This was a big setup three buildings and an interlinked heating system, two boilers and a forced air furnace, with a hot water coil. The whole system was set up to run the least amount of fire to break even, with the wind chill. Well the new contractors removed the interfaces between the units. When the church got the first gas bill following them disabling the controls, the head Deacon was told in no uncertain terms to go back to our original contractor or leave. I reconnected all the interfaces, and the gas bill went back down.

____ The breakdown was a:small boiler b: half of big boiler c: half of big boiler+small boiler d:all of big boiler e:big boiler+small boiler f: all burners.

--------------------
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Benjamin Franklin,

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Aditu
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Icon 1 posted December 12, 2009 13:34      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You may actually see an improvement in choir moral. People who want to shine on their own often make others less willing to participate.
Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
bull3t
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Icon 1 posted December 13, 2009 12:52      Profile for bull3t     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What an asshole. We have a few in the congregation like that hear. I would tell them off, but I'm enlisted, and all the real prissy people are officers. Damn military church.

On the subject of Midnight Mass, I'm getting confirmed as part of the service! The RCIA program here was SUPER shortened due to our priest being in the Air Force, and going home in January. After three years, I'm finally getting confirmed. yay me.

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2009 01:35      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ MMKK, This is going to sound weird? My mothers family nine siblings, farm country. Some married Methodist some married Catholic. I do not know if it was on purpose but all of the Aunts and Uncles kept Penance Friday then any cousin could stay for supper at any Aunt & Uncles. Now on to the question. "If some one really likes fish is it still a Penance?" So if I could and do some times eat fish three or more times a week, then would eating fish on Friday be a Penance?

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2009 02:19      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
MoMan, did you know that the beaver is officially a fish?

--------------------
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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2009 05:21      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ TFD, I was almost afraid to click that link.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2009 06:51      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
MoMan: I am not qualified to answer that question as I have frequently wondered that myself. I can give you some of my personal ideas on the subject, though...

I think that the "Friday Fish Fast" is an interesting way to simply inject a tiny little thought about God/The Church/Dogma/Religion into our daily lives. It serves that function in two ways.

On a Friday, when I walk by (let me make something up) Big Al's House of All Things Ground Beef and smell sizzling burgers and I want one really bad, I'll think "no, I can't, it's Friday." If I walk by Big Al's House of All Things Ground Beef on a Wednesday and the aroma attracts me, then I'll start by thinking "wait... is it Friday? no! sweet! *om nom nom nom*"

Either way, a little tiny nugget of pause for thought enters my consciousness. IMHO, that's the real purpose of the Friday Fast, it puts just a TINY little pause into what is otherwise a generally automatic response, hunger (perceived or real).

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


Posts: 2331 | From: Southwest Michigan, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2009 15:34      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ MMKK, well to me Friday means more places that will have fish on the menu, and will be ready to serve fish, the smell of burgers while good does not hold a candle to a fish fry.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2009 15:44      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*shrug*

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


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Anovadea
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Icon 1 posted December 15, 2009 10:57      Profile for Anovadea     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In Ireland, that's pretty much led to the idea of fish and chips (not the deep-fried thinly sliced and flavoured bits of potato that you eat sitting watching TV or playing poker but the deep-fried LARGE chunks of potato [Big Grin] ) on a Friday. That and everyone was so wrecked by the end of the week that they were too wallfallen to cook for themselves. [Smile]

Also the beaver-is-a-fish thing makes me think of a song by Rasputina called "Rats" - a very clever and fun song (ok, maybe not hugely clever, but still fun).

Anyway, back onto topic, it sounds like Frank is a bit, as we say, "precious". I think the bit about his mum dropping by his music kinda says that. [Smile]

Aoife

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Aditu
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Icon 1 posted December 15, 2009 12:14      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Congratulations on your confirmation Bull3t. I hope it is the next step in a fufilling spiritual journey. [Smile]
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