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Author Topic: My doorknob failed
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

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5
Icon 1 posted November 27, 2007 21:27      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
WTF?

This evening I come home. Kreziserb is already there. So I turn the knob. The door's unlocked, but it won't open. I screw around with the key. I shouted, suspecting shenanigans. And then I went around and banged on a window. After about ten minutes of struggling and cursing and applying screw drivers and pliers, kreziserb let me in. I closed the door behind me. And then had to hop out the window (I live halfway underground so this is not as dramatic as it sounds) because we couldn't open the door from the inside. This should have been blatantly obvious as the inner half of the doorknob was hanging out of socket by a bent screw, but I am a creature of habit and I always close the front door behind me. After five more minutes, further destruction was rendered upon the doorknob and I could get back in. A few minutes later, the destroyed doorknob was sitting on the kitchen table. Kreziserb broke the bent screw in the process...with his bare hands. If there's one thing he hates, it's ornery doorknobs.

Unfortunately, Home Depot is closed for the night so we're just going to have to spend the night with a hole in the door and trust to the deadbolt.

How the fsck does a doorknob just up and fail??

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
erynthenerd
Mini Geek
Member # 12416

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Icon 1 posted November 27, 2007 22:05      Profile for erynthenerd   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Did the doorknob turn all its homework in? That's usually why my brother fails.

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Fresh Meat

Posts: 66 | From: Central Washington | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted November 27, 2007 22:08      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...and while you were walking around the building, a half-nekkid chick ran out the front door and kreziserb broke the doorknob to cover her tracks [Razz]
Posts: 1095 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted November 27, 2007 22:49      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So that's the deal with that lingering scent of cheap perfume. And here the kreziserb is trying to tell me I'm hallucinating...again. [Razz]

Nah, I'm pretty sure there wasn't any foul play. Just weirdness.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted November 28, 2007 01:06      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ffffun...

Reminds me of the time I struggled to get out of the bathroom at my ex's place. (Turn it left...it jams, turn it right...it slips.) I suppose I could have tried much harder, but I took the lazy approach of ~"Honey, could you please open the door?" I don't know of a single door there that worked properly...that wasn't quite the final straw, but definitely frustrating.

I also fix doorknobs at work - I get tired of waiting ages for the maintenance folks to fix them...and it really sucks having to take another stairwell down and then back up to open a door.

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted November 28, 2007 02:53      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Xanthine _________________________ The story goes that about the time I was four. My parents bought me a nested screw driver set, a big one, Inside a smaller one until you have four screw drivers.

This is not a good tool for a four year old mechanicly inclined little boy. I had great fun taking out screws the easiest to reach were on door knobs. Ma had fallen alseep, Da could not get in the house,

My older brothers comment to the parents "what did you expect?"

I lost that screw driver for a long time.

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5855 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 28, 2007 10:18      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Heeheehee.

Well, the doorknob is replaced. We'll do the deadbolt later tonight so we can get in and out with a single key.

The rest of the doors in my apartment seem to be in good working order.

I've had to break into my own home a few times, but this is the first time I've ever had to break OUT. Which reminds me. I forgot to put the window screen back up after I popped it out last night. I hope no one notices. :/

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged


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